Disclaimer: I am not the legal owner of Harry Potter nor am I the owner of anything that is written in the Harry Potter series. I am however the owner of a few OC characters but very minor.
A/N: this little piece is my take on The To-Do List challenge:
Character: Roxanne Weasley
#5 Make a will
#12 Clean out U-bent under bathroom sink.
#31 Get a tetanus jab.
#43 Have a go at growing a beard.
#57 Write thank-you notes
I hope you'll like it
A Box of Chocolate
I think it was a Tuesday, when I finally realized that my life was over. I was one step away from taking my own life if things won't change, soon if possible.
I don't know what I was thinking when I told my Mum and Dad that moving out to my own place is a smart thing to do. Sure, I am my own master and commander however I'm also my own cook (terrible), my own housekeeper (horrible) and my own cleaner (disastrous). I am my own house elf, a poor one that is.
Yes, I know. I'm witch, why wouldn't I use magic to keep my own flat shiny and clean? Because I'm rubbish at it! Unlike any other female Weasley I didn't inherit Molly Weasley the I, good and clean and fit for human inhabitants, famous skills of homemaking magic.
So there I was, standing by the door to my own privet bathroom, in my own privet "big-girl" flat (as Fred put it in his own words), arms gloved with my brand new yellow rubber gloves with one hand holding a plunger and the other holding my wand as I was trying to clean finish my last task for that day: Clean out U-bend under bathroom sink.
Needless to say, I was lost.
Lost and suffering from the worst clugged drain in history of bathroom sinks clugged drains.
"My very own Voldemort," I sighed. "In the form of pipes."
I bent down under the sink and put down the plunger (no idea what I'm supposed to do with it as I clean the U-Bend thingy), and opened its cabinet doors. The first thing I noticed was the stench, the second thing was the giant cockroach skidding towards me.
"Ah!" I screamed and in my tempt escape hit my head in the sink. "Ow!" I fell backward to the floor and tried blink away the spots I was seeing. Once it was clear I was okay again (it took a while. My head really hurt!), I manned up and took another chance at what probably be the end of me.
Should've added to task list: make a will.
Maybe two. Just to annoy Fred and Hugo and leave them both the same thing but to each on the other will. Hmmm…or maybe I'll leave them out of it completely and leave everything to Gigi, my imaginary house elf I made up when I was six.
Back to cleaning, I was just about to unscrew the U-Bend lug when that stupid roach attacked me. Again!
"You're going down." I narrowed my eyes and with my wand blew up the darned cockroach into small pieces, along with the U-Bend.
"Son of a bitch!" I cried as rusty pieces of what used to be my bathroom sink U-Bend, flew in my direction.
Once again I was flat on my back, groaning, moaning and scratched (bleeding) all over my upper body and soaking in poo-water after the pipes expoleded. It really a heaven on earth. Not!
I was there for a whole twenty minutes until I heard the roaring sound of Floo flames coming from my fireplace in the living room. I was too aching to move so I did the next best thing.
"I'm in the bathroom!" I called as loud as I could.
Footsteps and then a chuckle. "You're quite the sight."
I tilted my head up and saw the smirking face of Lysander. "Help me?" with a swift move, Lysander help up me to my feet, I was still a bit woozy so I set down on my toilet seat lid.
"So," he began. "Who were you fighting?" he summoned a clean towel and started dabbing the blood off of me.
"I was trying to clean under by bathroom sink." I hissed as Lysander took out a small metal chip that was stuck in my upper arm.
"And exploding it is the right way to do it?" he looked at my bleeding wound. "I think it's deep."
I glanced at it and shrugged. "It's nothing, they'd give me a tetanus shot or something and tell me to go home and rest."
"That's muggle methods."
"You have problems with muggles?"
Lysander coughed. "N-no," he said. "But healing takes longer when you go to them. Healing it with magic would be easier and faster."
"Not if I get infection."
I knew I won the argument when Lysander shook his head. "Go to the living room and rest. I'll be there in a minute."
"I'll just clean up the mess."
He's being sweet I know, but I hate to feel like a bloody damsel in distress. "It's already clean."
"And by clean you mean flooded, filled with metal pieces and smells like something Lucy tried to cook?"
"Go and rest." He ordered me. "And add a tetanus jab to that sodding list of yours." He called from the bathroom.
"I'll also add castrating you." I muttered as I collapsed on my couch.
His face was the first thing I saw as I woke up from my kip. I was laying on something warm and comfortable. Apparently it was Lysander's leg.
"Hey." I croaked and got up to lean against his chest. "How long was I down?"
Lysander began running his fingers in my hair. "An hour, more or less. I fixed the U-Bend, scourgified the bathroom and made you some tea." He pointed at the steaming mug on the table.
"Ly, you're a saint," I said as I took the mug and sipped the hot liquid. "Remind me to send you a gift basket from Dad's shop."
"I'd rather have a simple thank-you note."
"I'll add it to my list," I said and wrote in the air. "Write thank-you notes."
"To Lysander." He said.
"Yes, to Lysander the Almighty." I rolled my eyes and finished my tea.
"By the way," he said. "I made sure there were no more plimperdinks in the drain before I finished."
"What's a plimpo-dirnk?"
"A plimperdink looks like a small but very large cockroach only it's purple with white spots and it shrikes and squirt venom when it feels threatens. Other than that it's a lovely creature." He said to my hair.
"Its things like that, Lysander, is why you don't have a girlfriend."
"I have you." He wasn't being flirty or even trying to but even I, the least emotionally developed female Weasley, was touched.
"I knew I kept you for a reason." I kissed his cheek chastely and while doing so I noticed something strange about Lysander, something…new. "Stubble? You didn't shave?"
"I stopped shaving a week ago," His hand stopped caressing my hair and moved to his chin and cheek. "I'm trying to see how a beard works for me."
"You're going for a look of a manky forty year old warlock?" I say and laugh.
His blue eyes grew wide before they danced as he barked a laugh and as he roll his head back, his brown hair dance around him in curls and I have to admit, he looked…good. Handsome, really.
I twisted in his arms and finally I was face to face with Lysander. Slowly I cupped his cheek. It felt prickly; I inched closer and touched his cheek with mine. It still felt itchy but it was kind of nice. I think.
"Rox?" I heard his voice shake a little as he said my name.
"Yeah?" did he always smell this musky and nice? I pulled back a little and met his eyes; they were staring straight at me.
"What are you doing?"
"I have zero idea." I said and I crushed my lips onto Lysander's, kissing him hungrily and while it did took him a few seconds he kissed me back, with just as much want and finally as my hands tugged his hair his hands wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer. we broke the kiss with a need for air.
I blinked a few times before I frowned. "I think I have a chafe of my chin." I rubbed my chin.
"Want me to go and shave?"
"No, it's okay."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Besides it's too late, Ly," I said and snuggled close to him. "It's already on the list."
Have a go at growing a beard.
There was a saying in a muggle film, Lily once told me about: "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
I never really understood what that means but that afternoon, after being attacked by own house plumbing and then being rescued by that loopy, loony, wonderful Lysander, I finally got it.
I should watch that movie. I'll just add it to the list.
A/N: reviews are always welcome.