CREDITS (quite some interesting stuff here)

Chip and Dale were created by Jack Hannah, I think.

Gadget Hackwrench, Monterey Jack, Zipper, Plato, Aldrin Klordane, and Fat Cat were created by Tad Stones and Kevin Hopps, I think.

Foxglove and Winifred were created by Bruce Talkington, I think.

Tammy, Bink, and their mother were created by Tad Stones and Dev Ross, I think.

Midge was created by Sindy McKay and Larry Swerdlove, I think.

Camembert Kate was created by Bruce Reid Schaeffer, Ken Koonce, and David Wiemers, I think.

Cheddarhead Charlie and Ditz (and his friends) were created by Mark Edens, I think.

"The Red Badger of Courage", Rat Capone, Arnold Mousenegger, and Sugar Ray Lizard were created by Michael P. Nelson and Burt Brown, I think.

Iron Goose and Queenie were created by Tad Stones and David Wise, I think.

Sureluck Jones was created by Eric Lewald, I think.

Clarissa, Chi-Chi, Lucy, Chattie, Zip and Zap, Chet, Granny Chippy, Cyril Chipmunk, Chester Chipmunk, and Gerry Squirrel (and Cyril's bull incident) were created by the writers of "Disney and Me", of whom Disney had the rudeness of not acknowledging individually in those comics.

Clarice and The Acorn Club were created by Nick George and Bill Berg, I think.

The name "Colby" was coined by Art Cover, Lydia Marano, and Bryce Malek, I think, and was suggested for Monterey's last name by Carlton "Wescott" Edward Baird II.

Sparky and Buzz were created by Kevin Hopps, I think.

Harpo Mouseo was created by Dean Stefan, I think.

Chirp Sing was created by Tad Stones, I think.

Tom and Butch were created by David Wise, I think.

Sam, Sue, and Elwood were created by Lynn Barker, I think.

Canina LeFur was created by Doug Hutchinson, I think.

Melody was created by David Schwartz, I think.

Dale's workout suit (and all original wardrobe) was designed by Ken Boyer and Kenny Thompkins, I think.

The Ranger Wing, the Ranger Plane, the Ranger Skate, and Ditz's spaceship were designed by Rob Laduca and Terry Hudson, I think.

All characters are © Disney (and used without permission, but it's doubtful that they mind) EXCEPT FOR:

Otis and Uncle Phinehas, and the Fur and Feather Journal and Picayune, who are © Roy Neal Grissom, who also conceived the armadillo thing, the luna moth thing, Foxglove's Steeple, part of the Park Incident, the language thing, the theories concerning Foxglove's past, Fat Cat's Letter, Dale and Foxglove's Greeting, Foxglove's Worst Insult, Foxglove's Original Final Moments, the "A Elbereth Gilthoniel!" reference, and Dale's Original Proposal. Used with permission.

Pierre and Dalee Oakmont, Chap and Nikoma Maplewood, Tac, Clark Jent, Feyyanna, Janice, Marcus, Richard, Rosie, Dusk, Dawn, Curtis, Grace, Leticia, Irene, Dawn, Aurora, Alicia, the Vegas Furries, The Nutshell Club, the squirrel emcee, Mortimer, Clarice's Band, Kyle, Dr. Qandlier and his wife, Dr. Johanna, the chipmunk cub, Strigidæ/Ima, the prairie dog bouncers, Dr. Jay, Tyndal, Anna, James, and the bellhop, who are © The J.A.M.

Mulder and Scully, who are © 20th Century Fox. Used without permission.

Luke Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader, Han Solo, The Millennium Falcon, and "The Empire Strikes Back", who are © Lucasfilm. Used without permission.

"An American Tail", which is © Amblin Entertainment. Used without permission.

Rocky Balboa, who is © Metro-Goldwin-Mayer/United Artists. Used without permission.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard, who is © Paramount Pictures. Used without permission.

Sergeant Slaughter, who is © Hasbro. Used without permission.

Bernard, Bianca, and The Rescue Aid Society, who are © Margery Sharp. Used without permission.

And Godzilla, who is © Toho. Used without permission.

Original casting by Olivia Miner.

Additional casting by The J.A.M. and Roy Neal Grissom.

Chip Maplewood is Tress MacNeille

Dale Oakmont is Corey Burton

Gadget Hackwrench is also Tress MacNeille

Monterey Jack Colby is Jim Cummings

Zipper Lightringer is also Corey Burton

Foxglove Oakmont is Deborah Walley

Pierre Oakmont is Frank Welker

Dalee Oakmont is B.J. Ward

Chap Maplewood is Peter Cullen

Nikoma Maplewood is Noelle North

Cheddarhead Charlie is also Jim Cummings

Camembert Katie is Fran Ryan

Tammy Hazelnut is also Noelle North

Midge is also Tress MacNeille

Phinehas Maplewood is also Peter Cullen

Otis is also Corey Burton

Clark Jent is Kenneth Mars

Clarice Tamiassara is Susan Blu

Feyyanna is also Susan Blu

Janice is also B.J. Ward

Marcus is Marshall Efron

Richard is also Frank Welker

Rosie is Tara Charandoff

Curtis is Brian Cummings

Grace is Cathy Cavadini

Dusk is Rob Paulsen

Dawn is Alyson Court

Sparky is Danny Gans

Buzz is also Danny Gans

Squirrel emcee is Dan Gilvezan

Mortimer is Bobcat Golthwait

Winifred is also Tress MacNeille

Rat Capone is also Jim Cummings

Arnold Mousenneger is also Brian Cummings

Sugar Ray Lizard is Chuck McCann

Dr. Qandlier is Michael Fantini

Harpo Mouseo is Himself

The chipmunk cub is also Alyson Court

Dr. Johanna is also Tress MacNeille

Strigidæ/Ima is Jackie Burroughs

Chirp Sing is also Jim Cummings

Chattie is also Cathy Cavadini

James is also Frank Welker

Zip is also Tara Charandoff

Zap is also Tara Charandoff

Granny Chippy is June Foray

Chet is also Chuck McCann

Sam is Josh Rodine

Sue is also Josh Rodine

Elwood is Pat Musick

Canina LeFur is Carol Channing

Mrs. Hazelnut is also Tress MacNeille

Bink is also Noelle North

Melody is Russi Taylor

Queenie is Sindy McKay

Kyle is Henry Gibson

Bianca is Eva Gabor

Bernard is Bob Newhart

Chester is also Henry Gibson

Chi-Chi is Louise Vallance

Lucy is Pauline Renniee

Cyril is Hal Smith

Clarissa is Jennifer Darling

Gerry is Alan Oppenheimer


The Bellhop is The J.A.M.

Additional special appearances by David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson.

Additional wardrobe designed by The J.A.M.

Props by Tinker-Toys.

Some ærial manœuvers were suggested by The E.Q.U.I.N.N.O.X. (a former student of mine).

Hotel accommodations by Hyatt Regency Cancún Furry Division.

The name Maplewood was coined by Michael "Questy" Demcio.

The name Oakmont was coined by Michael "Questy" Demcio with collaboration from Jeff Pierce and Meghan Elizabeth Brunner.

The names Lightringer and Hazelnut were coined by Natasha Kashefipour.

The name Tamiassara was coined by The J.A.M.

The Mohawk names: Segoleh ("he who laughs"), Yegoleh ("she who laughs"), and Hastahah ("he who grieves"), were coined by The J.A.M. with collaboration from Kevin "KS" Sharbaugh.

Small Mammal Health Consultant: John W. Nowak.

Weather Consultant: John W. Nowak.

Io Consultant: John W. Nowak.

The Dale-hanging-from-his-ankles thing was also originally conceived by John W. Nowak.

The Sparky-and-Buzz-at-MIT thing was originally conceived by Michael "Questy" Demcio.

Foxglove's flashback with Winifred and the "hardball" quote were originally conceived and written by Bruce Talkington.

The New Zealand incident was originally conceived and written by Julia J. Roberts.

The South America incident, and Gadget's quote, were originally conceived and written by Dev Ross and Tad Stones.

The Paris incident, and Gadget's quote there as well, were originally conceived and written by Dean Stephan, Ken Koonce, and David Wiemers.

The super spy reference was originally conceived by Julia J. Roberts and Tad Stones.

Gadget's run-in with the FBI was originally conceived by Robert "Robo|\|erd" Hollinshead.

The quotes from "Rocky" were originally conceived and written by Sylvester Stallone.

Some of the choreography for "Born To Be Alive" was suggested by The R.R.O.S.I.E. and The C.A.T.M.A.N.

Hebrew consultant: Roy Neal Grissom (you're one of the good ones, Mr. Grissom!)

Both of Foxglove's kidnappings were originally conceived and written by Roy Neal Grissom.

Gadget's Cabinet, Translator, Elevator, and Foxglove's Original Short Wave Radio were designed by Roy Neal Grissom.

Foxglove's New Digital Short Wave Radio was designed by The J.A.M.

The Ceremony was also originally designed and orchestrated by Roy Neal Grissom. Additional orchestrations by The J.A.M.

"In My Arms Again" is © 1998 Milene Music, Inc./Deer Valley Music (administered by Milene Music, Inc.)/ASCAP/Lil' Yeila House Music/BMI/Lola Max Music/ASCAP. Written by Michael W. Smith, Joanna Carlson, and Cindy Morgan. Performed by Michael W. Smith. Orchestrated and conducted by Tom Howard. Programming and Keyboards by Michael W. Smith and Bryan Lenox. Guitars by Brent Barcus. Used without permission.

"Somewhere Out There" is © 1986 MCA Records. Written by Cynthia Weil. Music by James Horner and Barry Mann (Grammy Best Song in a Movie Soundtrack 1987!). Performed by Corey Burton and Deborah Walley. Used without permission.

"Desesperada" is © 1994 Polygram Latino Records. Written by Steve Singer and A. Roberts. Adapted by Carlos Toro Montoro. Performed by Martha Sánchez. Used without permission.

"My Destiny" is © 1950 Mack David (lyrics) and Jerry Livingston (music). Popularised by Billy Eckstine. Performed by Tress MacNeille, Corey Burton, and Susan Blu. Used without permission.

"Little Girl" is © 1931 Madeline Hyde and Francis Henry. Popularised by Guy Lombardo. Performed by Tress MacNeille, Corey Burton, and Susan Blu. Used without permission.

"Every Breath You Take" is © 1983 A&M Records. Written by Sting (Grammy Best Song 1983!). Performed by Corey Burton. Used without permission.

"I Want To Know What Love Is" is © 1984 Atlantic Records. Written by Mick Jones. Performed by Susan Blu, Tress MacNeille, Cathy Cavadini, B.J. Ward, Rob Paulsen, Frank Welker, Peter Cullen, and Corey Burton. Used without permission.

"Edge of my Heart" is © 1986 Coda Records. Written by Tymon Murray. Performed by Deborah Walley. Used without permission.

"Just Another Day" is © 1992 SBK Records. Written by Jon Secada and Miguel A. Morejón. Performed by Deborah Walley, Tress MacNeille, Susan Blu, Cathy Cavadini, B.J. Ward, Rob Paulsen, Frank Welker, Peter Cullen, and Corey Burton. Used without permission.

"Total Eclipse of the Heart" is © 1983 Columbia Records. Written by Jim Steinman. Performed by Deborah Walley, Tress MacNeille, Susan Blu, Peter Cullen, and Corey Burton. Used without permission.

"Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)" is © 1984 Atlantic Records. Written by Phil Collins. Performed by Deborah Walley and Corey Burton. Used without permission.

"Raiders March (Indiana Jones Theme)" is © 1981 Columbia Records. Written by John Williams. Performed by Corey Burton. Used without permission.

"Born To Be Alive" is © 1979 Radmus Publishing. Written and performed by Patrick Hernandez. Used without permission.

"Big Red Theme" is © 1979 William Wrigley Jr. Company. Written by Peter Cofield. Performed by the entire cast. Used without permission.

"Wind Beneath My Wings" is © 1988 Atlantic Records. Written by Jeff Silbar and Larry Henley. Performed by Corey Burton. Used without permission.

"My Heart Will Go On" is © 1997 Sony Classical Records. Written by Will Jennings. Music by James Horner. Performed by Deborah Walley, Tress MacNeille, and Peter Cullen. Used without permission.

"(I've Had) The Time Of My Life" is © 1987 RCA Records. Written by Donald Markowitz, John De Nicola, and Frankie Previte. Performed by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes. Used without permission.

"When A Man Loves A Woman" is © 1991 Columbia Records. Written by C. Lewis and A. Wright. Performed by Michael Bolton. Used without permission.

No copyright infringement is intended or implied. I did all this for the fun of it.

All of the characters, places, and events portrayed in this fanfic are fictitious. Any resemblance to any real persons, places, or events is unintentional and purely coincidental. Trust me on this one, guys. Even if you feel that I took some events from Real Life (or even some fanfics other than the ones mentioned, please believe me, Indy, Mr. Silva, and Mr. Plotecher!), trust me, I wrote them down long before they actually happened.


To Microsoft's Encyclopædia Encarta '99, for all the scientific classifications.

To Hershey's, for furnishing most of the candy used in this fanfic.

To the William Wrigley Jr. Company.

To Roy Neal Grissom (who else), for sorta starting this whole thing off, with his fanfics: "Home Is Where You Hang Upside-Down", and "Consummation", of which I make numerous references here. I couldn't have done it without you.

To Roy Neal Grissom and John W. Nowak, for the joke material. I know I modified it a trifle, but thanks anyways.

To John W. Nowak, for taking his time in proofreading this story.

To Kevin "KS" Sharbaugh, for his assistance in providing Dale's and Foxglove's middle names.

To Christopher Silva, for his contribution: "Dale's Lament", in chapter TESSARES — DALE'S LAMENT: I AWOKE AND LAUGHED NO MORE. Beginning with "Do you know what it feels like to be insignificant, Chip?" to "Imagine these things and know what it is like to be Dale," that segment was originally conceived and written by him. I made some changes to allow it to flow with the story, but I know you won't mind. For the original "Dale's Lament", contact him.

To Natasha Kashefipour (I LOVE saying that name!) for all the info and pics of Clarice, Cousin Chet, Sam and Sue, and Elwood. You're the best!


AHEM! To Ruslan Matvienko, also for his Clarice pics. Did you think I'd forget you?

To both Natasha Kashefipour and Carlton "Wescott" Edward Baird II, for their original joint contribution of the lyrics of "My Destiny", as well as its orchestration.

To Carlton "Wescott" Edward Baird II, for his original contribution of the lyrics of "Little Girl". I was about to put the Amy Grant lyrics ("HEY Little Girl, running out so fast…"), but you saved the day. Thanks.

To David Junker, for the info on Chirp Sing.

To Christopher "Dale" Birkett, for all the info on Lucy, Chi-Chi, Clarissa, Cyril Chipmunk, Chester Chipmunk, Gerry Squirrel, Granny Chippy, Chattie, and Zip and Zap.

To John Alan "Q" Davidson, for the "Rocky V" quote. Thanks a bunch!

To both Matt Plotecher and Christopher "Dale" Birkett, for the voice lists.

To Christopher Silva, Matt Plotecher, and Stephen "Indy" Hamrick, for their little (but important) bits of input.

To Roy Neal Grissom (one more time), and Riga's very own, Aivars Liepa, for their owl idea and for their assistance in the various ways of saying "END".

Also to The P.E. for his contribution in the various ways of saying "END".

And to CD, for the correction of the origins of "My Destiny" and "Little Girl".

To Rye, for the Chinese and Japanese characters that mean "END".

To Roy Neal Grissom (yes, again), for helping me with the lyrics of "Edge of my Heart" for the second edition.


To Roy Neal Grissom. You're an incredible writer as well. Thanks for the inspiration. This story would not have existed without you.

And to Natasha Kashefipour—Kashefipour-Kashefipour-Kashefipour-Kashefipour-Kashefipour—AHEM! For going through land and sea to get the information I asked for, and for being an incredible friend as well.

And yes, I was counting the chapters in Greek.

Just in case you're wondering, the various ways of saying "The End" are written in English, German, Afrikaans, Dutch, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Italian, Romanian, Polish, Russian, Latvian, Finnish, Greek, Hebrew, Malay, Hokkien, Seneca, Chinese, Japanese, Norwegian, Swedish, Mayan, and Náhuatl (Aztec), respectively.

Also, chapter DODEKA — GADGET'S LAMENT: DEATH OF A DREAM is dedicated to Julie Bihn and all her disciples, commonly known as the Antis.

In Memoriam:

Jackie Burroughs


And no, none of the Rescue Rangers nor their friends nor the hotel staff gave the Oakmonts that giant Hershey's Kiss (or the luna moths or the foxglove petals).

That was a gift from…



Until next time, remember:




J.A.M. (a.k.a. Numbuh i: "Just because I'm imaginary doesn't mean I don't exist")

Good evening.