Hana-tamago Vs Sweden
AN: If the crack-ish title didn't give you a clue, this is a goofy little story starring Hana-tamago, Sweden and Finland's little white dog. Little Hana is about to go on a very big journey...
Disclaimer: Hana-tamago and all other characters in this story are from the anime/manga Hetalia: Axis Powers, and belong to Hidekaz Himeruya. This is a work of fanfiction, and it's all in good fun. =)
It's a cold winter day when Sweden, probably jealous of Finland's fondness for him, suddenly murders Estonia in cold blood!
Hana-tamago sees it all, though!
So, Hana escapes the house and embarks on a doggy trip through the wilds of the Nordic countries to tell somebody before Sweden murders Latvia, the other Baltic of which Finland is fond...
But, what's this? OH NO! Hana is picked up by Japan, who is in the Nordic area to discuss whales with Iceland and finds the cute doggy by the roadside!
Thus begins Hana-tamago's epic journey to Asia...where she learns that rumors of Chinese people eating dogs aren't ALL fake, because China sees her and gets out the wok!
Fleeing the premises, she thinks she'll never see Finland again...
She heads for snow, where Finland might be!
Unfortunately, it turns out to be the tundra of Siberia...
Lithuania, out collecting firewood on the border, finds poor Hana half-frozen and brings her home to warm her up by the fire.
While Hana is thawing, she cannot keep her mind from Finland. All of Finland's friends are in danger...who else is he close to?
Grateful as she is for Lithuania's help, Hana knows that this is a journey she must make on her own... She waits until Lithuania opens the door to go outside and get more firewood, and escapes out into the snow!
Lithuania doesn't notice for the moment, thankfully...unfortunately, Poland, who is just coming to visit Lithuania, does. Finding the little white puff of a dog to be "like, totally adorable to the max!", Poland picks up Hana and takes her home to get a pink bow for her neck, forgetting entirely about his visit to Lithuania's house...
Alas, Poland never gets to buy Hana that bow...because just as he arrives at his house, Italy pulls up in a little FIAT waving a book in the air.
Amidst the "ve~" sounds and "ahahaha, totally awesome!"s from Poland, Hana escapes into the wilderness once again. No matter how nice these people are to dogs, she cannot forget about her mission! Finland's entire circle of friends may rely upon her success! Unfortunately, she's not sure where she is at this point...
Determined not to lose in this fight, little Hana-tamago stows away upon a big ship leaving across the sea.
The ship goes to...dun dun DUNNNN...CANADA.
Running off the dock, Hana does not know this...she only knows that there is snow, so she might be closer to Finland, and home...
Hana could be happy to stay in Canada, really...there is a delicious maple scent coming from the house, and some unfamiliar blonde person is making pancakes...
Just as she goes to investigate, though (traveling so long, she's gotten very hungry), there is a mighty roar that knocks the snow from the tree branches nearby!
At first, there is no sign of the attacker...until a black pebble in the snow comes flying at her. No, not a pebble-a nose! It's a POLAR BEAR!
The bear isn't very big, and its roar kind of sounds like "WHOOOOO?"
Hana knows she cannot fight a bear and win, so she yips out, "I-IT'S HANA-TAMAGO!"
The bear stops dead in his tracks, and Hana recalls why she doesn't speak much. Nobody expects a little white cotton-puff dog to speak...and if that doesn't throw them off, her weird name always does.
A bit humbled, as he only knows the one word himself, the bear points at the house with one front paw. "Who?"
Hana realizes that he is indicating the blonde person in the kitchen. He must not know them either...
Deciding that such an unfamiliar person probably doesn't know Sweden, Hana-tamago follows the bear inside when the blonde person calls that the pancakes are ready.
"Who?" The bear repeats, pointing at Hana now.
The blonde stranger looks down at her with wide blue eyes, exclaiming, "Eh? Where did you come from?"
Eh...this word sounds familiar. Hana remembers Finland talking about a place called...something that starts with a C...where the language has "eh" in it a lot.
Determined to communicate with this person and find out how to save Finland's friends, Hana yips, "Where are we, eh?"
The person looks a bit sheepish at this, but smiles anyway.
"I'm Canada! We're at my house."
"Canada, eh?" Hana barks. "Can you help me, eh? I need to find somebody, eh-his name is Finland, eh?"
The strange blonde...Canada?...tries not to laugh at all of the "eh"s and pets Hana's head.
"Finland lives in the Nordic area, we're in North America. You've been traveling a long way, eh?"
Hana agrees, "E-eh! So...eh...can you help me find Finland, eh?"
"Who?" The bear asks impatiently, still waiting for his pancakes.
"F-Finland, eh?" Hana repeats, wondering if the bear is hard of hearing.
C...Ca...the Eh-saying Person, Hana decides to think of him, he smiles and picks Hana up.
"I'll take you to Finland's house if you want. He must be worried about you, eh? You've probably been gone for days!"
"Eh, that's not all, eh," Hana says nervously, looking far down at the floor. "Sweden is a murderer, eh-we have to warn Finland right away, eh!"
This response seems appropriate for the Eh-saying Person.
The Eh-saying Person calls Finland on his phone and turns it on speaker. Hana tries her best to explain to Finland, but as always he only hears barking when she talks to him...
THE STUNNING CONCLUSION...AFTER THESE MESSAGES! D:
Insert the commercial here. =|
...AND NOW, THE STUNNING CONCLUSION! D:
The Eh-saying Person translates for Hana.
"Sweden is a murderer! Y-you can't stay there, h-he'll kill you, eh?"
Hana is frustrated; no, no, Sweden will kill everyone Finland KNOWS, but not Finland himself! It's too late, though...Finland is too honest for his own good.
"Moi moi! Su-san wouldn't do that...I-I'll ask him! Su-san...?"
Horrified, Hana-tamago realizes that all of her work is unraveling itself. If Sweden finds out that Finland knows he killed Estonia, they will fight, and Hana is sure that Sweden will win!
Finland has left the phone; there are voices far away, upset voices, but Hana cannot hear the words even with her excellent dog ears.
The Eh-saying Person seems worried now; he feeds the bear pancakes anxiously, then hangs up the phone and dials another number.
Hana is in too much despair to pay much attention...Finland! Oh, poor Finland, now she will never see him alive again...!
The phone is still on speaker, so the loud voice on the other side is VERY loud.
"YO, Canada, what's up man?"
Hana is startled out of her tears; the Eh-saying Person knows America!
"A-America, you have fast planes, right?" The person says quickly. "Please go to Finland's house, I-I just had a weird phone call with him and I'm really worried!"
"DUDE, you called Finland? I'll bet he was weirded out 'cause it seemed like his phone was haunted! Hahaha..."
America doesn't seem to be taking this very seriously...
Desperate to help Finland, Hana yips, "Sweden will kill him! Please save Finland!"
"Hey, what country is that?" America seems confused for a second, but before Hana can answer that she's only a dog, he adds, "Oh, whatever! It sounds like Finland needs...a HERO!" With that, he hangs up the phone.
The Eh-saying Person seems a bit irritated about being called a ghost, but only pets Hana's head again.
"America will make sure Finland is okay-how about some pancakes, eh?"
Hana just wants to go home and have Finland feed her salmiakki...but Finland is far away, and he's busy being saved from certain Swedish death by America, and...the pancakes smell really good.
An hour and a large stack of pancakes later, there is a knock on the Eh-saying Person's door. Hana knows it's not America, because America doesn't knock, he just goes right through the door... No, that knock sounds familiar.
"Finland!" Hana yips, running to the door. It's Finland, she's sure that it is!
She waits patiently at the door as the strange blonde person who fed her pancakes opens it, looking up to catch first sight of the cheerful blue eyes and warm smile of her master...
Instead, she sees ice blue eyes, and wild hair.
With a wail of both terror and despair for poor Finland, who never made it here, Hana scrambles away into the house.
From the door, the Eh-saying Person is laughing. Why is he laughing? Finland is gone, gone, and Sweden will kill Hana next since she was the reason he had to kill Finland, eh? Being in this house is affecting her speech patterns...
"Poor Hana, she must have been so scared! She doesn't know what we were doing!" Oh, she must be imagining things...it sounds like Finland, but she knows that it can't be.
Hana hides behind the sleepy-looking bear, trying to blend with his white fur.
She squeezes her eyes closed tight, and tucks her tail beneath her. This is it...the Eh-saying Person is silent now, Sweden must have already gotten him...!
She feels hands swoop under her, and arms wrap around her. Ohhh, this is the end-Sweden has caught her now!
"Poor Hana, I'm sorry!"
Unless Sweden suddenly learned to speak with vowels...this IS Finland! Her eyes pop open, and somehow her beloved master is holding her!
Patting her head, Finland smiles sheepishly.
"You must have seen Su-san and Estonia rehearsing and thought it was real!"
Rehearsing...? Hana blinks as Sweden steps up beside Finland's arm...and Estonia, too!
"EHHH?" She yips, overwhelmed. But isn't Estonia dead?
"S'rry, T'mago," Sweden mumbles in his usual short way, reaching and patting her head as well. Hana is so confused she doesn't even shrink away, but she does whine a bit. "D'dn't m'n'a scare y'."
Estonia joins in petting the little white dog, smiling sheepishly.
"Who would guess a dog would pay so much attention to our play rehearsal? You must have made it really look like you killed me, Sweden!"
"You REALLY looked like you died," Finland added cheerily, giggling. "Moi moi!"
"...Hn." Sweden muttered, looking awkward suddenly. "S'go home."
And so they all go home, and Sweden isn't a terrible, evil, Finland-threatening murderer after all...
Hana decides later that perhaps it was all a strange dream. She convinces herself that Sweden is kind, and that he would never hurt Finland, and it's probably true. But from this day forward, whenever Hana exercises her rare ability to speak aloud, she finishes every sentence with the word "Eh".