Loved 6x01! I have no time now because I have to get to school, but the episode was amazing. So intense and dark. I loved it!
So here's a little something, because I couldn't let it go.
All quotes belong to whatever company owns Criminal Minds... CBS? I don't know. But kudos to you!
She couldn't do it.
In a moment's silence the thought struck her.
She was willing to lie to the public in order to ensure somebody's safety. An anonymous crowd was easy to lie to. They didn't look at you knowingly and it usually didn't mean someone's death if she screwed up.
But she was talking to him now. He had a girl with him, a girl like she might have been once, a girl like she might –who knows– have in the future.
And the girl was in danger.
They had no idea how Allie was holding up, didn't even know if she'd be conscious – they had no way of knowing what he'd do with her. To her.
But she couldn't empathize with somebody who took little girls. And if Hotch was listening, he'd heard her stumbling her way through an explanation, and he'd know.
She couldn't do it. She tried to make it personal, as Hotch has said, telling him –wherever he was–, and telling the whole of Los Angeles with him, that she was a mother. That a mother should not do the things his mother did. That a mother was supposed to tell you it's okay to be afraid.
It made her feel utterly uncomfortable to talk about such a beautiful position in life to such a horrible person. He did not deserve a mother. He had, in the past, but the person he was now did not deserve a mother. Did not deserve anybody.
She couldn't lie.
And suddenly, she knew what she had to say.
"I'm supposed to empathize with you. Sympathize. Understand. But I can't. That would be a lie. The truth is, I don't understand what you've done, I-I don't sympathize with you killing people all these years, and I especially don't understand you taking Allie."
She wondered if she was messing everything up with her words. Hotch had told her to pretend to sympathize, not lay her soul bare. She had to make this about him, about Allie, not about herself. She was safe here, wasn't she? It was Allie they had to worry about. For a short moment, she pictured Allie's face, and it helped her.
"What I can do is tell you what a mother should tell you, that you can't take away your pain by hurting someone else. That it doesn't make all the nights you went to bed scared and alone any better if you scare someone else the way you're scaring Allie. What happened to you… It isn't fair, but what you're doing to her isn't fair either, and if anyone should understand what that feels like it's you.
Power. The word was underlined on her notepad and it was important, she knew that.
"You have the power. You can do what you wanna do. But for once, you can choose to use that power to do for Allie what should have been done for you. You can choose letting her go. You can choose teaching her that… yes, there are monsters and it's okay to be afraid of them… but it's not okay to let them win, and it's not okay to be one."
She tried to picture him. Was he looking at Allie now, seeing himself as a little boy? Was he untying her, opening doors, letting her leave?
Had she done well?
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