I guess I am on a Candy-role.

It's my first ever song-fic.

I dunno what made me write this... I really have no clue.

Candy-Angst at it's finest... paired with Smut of course

Warning: Slash, Smut...

Disclaimer: Lyrics go to Three Days Grace "Without You"... I love that song... forever and ever and ever.


Their lovemaking was slow, sensual, silent, Randy's thrusts smooth and deep, striking his boy's prostate with almost every other thrust. Hands were exploring, touching, brushing, feeling eachothers bodies, covered in a fine sheen of sweat. Eyes wide open, drowning in eachother, lips slightly parted, panting, hips moving together in a slow dance of passion, of love.

They had sworn it would be their last time. Too long had their affair been going on already, too often had they betrayed their women.

What if I walked without you?
What if I ran without you?
What if I stand without you?
I could not go on

Randy wanted to memorize each and every movement of his boy, each twitch, every tremble, every single gasp. He wanted to copy the way Cody's back arched so beautifully when he hit that sweet spot deep inside of him to his memory, wanted to remember those sexy kitten-mewls, those sinful moans, the way his eyes fluttered shut when he found completion. He wanted to brand the image of Cody's trembling, shuddering body in his mind, wanted to see him explode in the throes of pleasure just to be able to imagine it later… when he would be alone on the road all over again.

He knew he would not be able to live without him, but it needed to be done, for Sam's sake, for Alana's sake, for Cody's sake… and for his own. Because if they carried on like this, they would all get hurt in the end. This way… this way though, only he would break. Or so he thought.

What if I lived without you?
What if I loved without you?
What if I died without you?
I could not go on

Breathing became heavier, bodies gliding against eachothers slick with sweat, trusting, deep blues still staring into warm, clouded grays, foreheads pressed together as their rhythm picked up. Randy's hand held tightly onto his lovers thigh, thumb kneading, massaging the tensing muscles while holding it up, thrusting deeper, further inside, his pulsing tip pressing against Cody's sweet bundle of nerves before pulling back out, repeating the action, faster, smooth, almost careful, trying to memorize every spasm of those hot, clenching walls surrounding him, reacting to him.

You left my side tonight
And I, I just don't feel right
But I, I can't let you out of sight
Without you I'm no one, I'm nothing at all

Cody knew before, that this day would come, he had known all along. What he had not known was that it would be so hard to let go. He had never planned to fall this fast, this deep, this much, not for Randy, not for anyone ever. With every single second they had spent together, every passing minute of their affair, he had fallen in love more than he had ever imagined possible.

Their encounters had changed from drunken fumblings to quick fucks to experimenting to the point where each time they got together, they ended up making love –as cheesy as it sounded. It had gotten to a point where he knew he could not live without his "Viper" anymore.

Thankfully their job provided them with enough good excuses since both of them loved to mark their respective other: Cody leaving scratches on Randy's perfectly tanned skin in the heat of the moment while the older man often underestimated his strength in the throes of ecstasy, his large palms having left bruises on his boys lithe hips more than just once… and they both loved it. It gave them something to remind them of their last night together when they were away, home, with their women.

Well, they would not have that any longer either.

What if I lie without you?
And what if I rise without you?
And what if I dream without you?
I could not go on

Cody could feel the fire inside of him raising, first, his stomach clenching, his toes curling. He wanted to hold off as long as possible, he fought it, he did not want it to be over just yet, but it was impossible to resist the ecstasy, especially when he felt Randy's firm grip on his abandoned length, his long, skilled fingers pumping him towards completion.

Randy had seen it in his eyes, knew that his boy was close, wanted him to explode first –for selfish reasons. He needed to be fully there when Cody came, wanted nothing to distract him from seeing his boy shuddering through his release, from branding that image into his brain, from memorizing each and every twitch, contortion of that beautiful face in the midst of ecstasy.

You left my side tonight
And I, I just don't feel right
But I, I can't let you out of sight
Without you I'm no one, I'm nothing at all

For years, they had snuck around, chastely kissed in dark corners, lovingly touched when no one was looking, met in the middle of the night when everyone else had been asleep. They had hidden from their friends, their families, co-workers and wives, but those who had looked closer –who had seen that look of pure adoration, of pure love in their eyes- had never said a word. Cody knew that Ted knew. Randy knew that John knew, but neither of them had ever talked about it.

The young brunette though was sure that after tonight, he would need Ted's friendship more than ever. He knew the break up was the right thing to do, but he also knew that it would eventually break him. Little did he know that Randy thought the same.

You left my side tonight
And I just don't feel right
I can't let you out of sight

He exploded with a muffled cry of pleasure, his lovers kiss drowning the noise with a soft, deep kiss, while his fist never faltered from its pace, milking Cody for all he was worth. The younger mans eyes fluttering shut, body thrumming like a guitar, shuddering, spasming, muscles going limb as he arched against Randy's rock-solid body. The "Viper" kept his eyes wide open, watching him, his mind snapping pictures, his fingers sucking in each twitch of those sexy hips, each tremble of those strong legs wrapped so securely around his own waist.

He was so lost in his boys beautiful, pleased features, so wrapped up in the young brunette's orgasm, that he barely felt his own coming, immense, fast, intense. It hit him so hard that he had to close his eyes, stars dancing behind his lids, toes curling, fingers cramping, whole body tensing. The cry wanting to escape him never made it past his lips as he bit them hard, hard enough to draw blood.

Cody watched him, stared at him closely, at the small wrinkle forming between closed, fluttering lids, those sinful lips twitching, the small drop of pearly red rolling down his chin, the tensing of his broad shoulders, twitching under his touch, the heaving of his strong, perfectly shaped chest as Randy's breath hitched. He, too, wanted, no, needed the memory.

Without you I'm no one, I'm nothing at all

They did not move for what felt like an eternity, they did not want to move, neither the stickiness between them nor the fresh air in the room mattering to them as Randy stayed deep inside of his lover, their bodies melting, the older mans face hidden in the crook of Cody's neck, just resting, taking in his sweet scent –another thing he did not want to forget- breathing him. Cody's arms were wrapped around his lover, legs tangled together, eyes shut tight as he willed himself not to cry, willed himself to stay strong… until he felt the soft shaking of Randy's body on top of his, something cold, something wet running down his neck… then he could not hold back anymore.

You left my side tonight
And I, I just don't feel right
But I, I can't let you out of sight

Hours later, Cody was lying on his side, the stifled sobs of his older lover keeping him awake, own else so blue happy eyes now puffy and red, heart wrenching with every single tear Randy shed. The older man was lying on his front, face buried into his pillow, fast asleep… and in the morning, he would be gone. This time forever.

Without you I'm no one, I'm nothing at all
Nothing at all


Honestly... I shed a tear or two while writing this. Hmmm...

Reviews pretty please?