If you give a girl a gun,

She'll want something to shoot.

So you'll have to get her a target.

While she's shooting, she'll remember her first mission.

She'll also start remembering her first partner,

And she'll want to find out how he's doing.

So you'll get a McProbie to hack into Mossad,

So she can find out where to send a letter.

As she's writing the letter, she'll remember that time she killed a man with a pen.

She will chuckle to herself, and you'll ask what's so funny.

She'll tell you it is nothing, and she will finish the letter.

You will walk down to the mail room together,

But on the way,

She will pass the still broken elevator,

And remember that time she was stuck in there overnight.

She will remember she still owes her friend a new watch,

So you will drive her to the jeweler.

On the way to the jeweler, you will pass the dance hall,

And she will want to go inside.

She will be disappointed when the door is locked,

So you will go around back to find the other door wide open.

You will enter cautiously,

And when you get to the studio,

You will see the shadow of something hanging from the ceiling.

You will both draw your weapons,

But when you turn on the light,

You see that it is a piƱata.

She will reprimand you when you want to crack it open, and tell you that it is for the children.

You will whine and say that there could be candy inside,

So she smirks and agrees to a small peek .

When there is candy inside,

You will take a large handful and run for the door.

When she yells after you, you will laugh and slow down so she can catch up.

She will want to share the candy, since you already took it,

So you will give her a blue Jolly Rancher,

Not only because you know they're her favorite,

But because you want to see her with the blue mouth this time.

As she sucks on her Jolly Rancher,

Her lips will morph and twist in ways you didn't think were possible.

You will want to kiss her oh-so-badly,

But you won't.

Because when you give a girl a gun,

That means she can shoot you with it.