100 days of Mother/Earthbound

083: Aquatic

The strange illusionary country of Magicant was home to many an oddity.

Of course, there was the ground-swimming cats, the witch-hatted citizens, and the great benevolent old man... all of these were the normal aspects of Magicant. However, the hidden areas of Magicant, the doorway back into reality... they held the mysterious border-line creatures that lurk between Magicantean and Normality.

The Fish was waiting in his personal pool-pit. An Ulrich was with him.

"Gotta attack Ninten... gotta attack Ninten... gotta attack Ninten..." the blue, floating figure rambled to itself.

The Fish was beyond annoyed. After five more repetitions of "Gotta attack Ninten...", the Fish lost it.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE! I KNOW! YOU'RE AN ENEMY! YOUR PURPOSE IS TO KILL NINTEN! I GET IT! JESUS! IT'S MY PURPOSE TOO, YOU KNOW!"

"But I am the great Ulrich... I am a hard enemy! PK Thunder!" Ulrich declared to prove his competence.

"Well, guess what? I'm a mini-boss. Itoi trusted me to guard the eternally useful Onyx Hook, the most useful item in the game! But you don't see me yakking on about the whole damn killing duty!"

"But..."

"SHUT UP! Why can't you be like the Watchers, Mom's eyes, and Dad's eyes? They don't talk at all, and sometimes they do a better job at killing Ninten than you..."

"The only reason they don't talk is that they have no mouths... they would if they could..."

"Really? Okay, Watcher!" The Fish called. A pair of eyes that looked particularly easy to draw turned around and faced The Fish.

"If you can somehow indicate to me... what do you think of yourself?"

The watcher rolled its eyes, turned around, and continued to roam.

"Hmph! Well, I guess that makes me right!" Ulrich proudly (and unfoundedly) concluded.

"Listen, you thunder-spamming Lakitu rip-off..." The Fish warned, "I'm a mini-boss, and you're a regular enemy. You will be forgotten by the player... me, everyone will remember me. You, you are NOTHING. I am something... you are just another clone waiting to be knocked senseless by Ninten. I am the main attraction of this dungeon. Think of that before you mouth off, you worthless..."

"SHUT UP!" a third, booming, far more intimidating voice interrupted.

"Wh-wh-wh-who said that?" The now cowardly Fish whimpered.

"ME! THE GREAT DRAGON! I AM THE MAIN ATTRACTION OF THIS DUNGEON! NOW BOTH OF YOU STOP ARGUING AND LET ME SLEEP!"

The Fish shook in his pool. "Wh-wh-wh-what does the Dragon look like? I've never seen him 'c-c-c-cos he's around the corner..."

"Scary." Ulrich replied, and stayed quiet. The huge silence that followed seemed to indicate more so that this was the case.

"I guess we should both just shut up, then..." The Fish finished.