A Reason to Stay
Edward and Bella in New Moon but with a different slant.
Changing points of View
Disclaimer Thanks to SM who owns all that is TWILIGHT
We had spent the whole summer together, we were so much in love. Everyone thought us pathetic but I didn't care. I feel whole, when I am with her. She completes me. My family tell me I've changed, I've become a better person since Bella. My moods are more even I am not lonely anymore and I actually speak to people. I can't really believe I was that bad. Bella laughs when my brothers and sisters tell her tales of my famous tantrums and sulking. I cannot believe that after all these years alone I have found my soul mate.
Bella's Dad, Charlie is Forks chief of police. He loves his only daughter almost as much as I do. I'm not too sure he's very fond of me. I mean, I take away his daughter every opportunity I get and at least once every day and even when she's home I'm usually there too. He'll get used to me, he'll have too because I'm not going anywhere until his daughter orders me away. We have to act even more proper than I'd like when Charlie is around. His hand often twitches towards his gun belt if he sees us touching or holding hands. I dread to think what his reaction would be if he'd seen us in our meadow on a few occasions.
With no school we have spent long lazy days laying side by side in our meadow. It's always been a special place to me, now it is our special place. Bella loves the meadow as much as I do and we spend all the time we can there when the weather allows. I carry a blanket in my car boot incase we need something to lay on. We talk for hours in the meadow, it seems to lift any inhibitions either of us have. We are totally honest with each other there. I even get to sparkle for her when the sun is out.
Learning about the person you love is a humbling experience. No matter what Bella has told me I would still love her but she is so good, so lovely in everything she is or has ever done. She blushed crimson when she told me she had never kissed a boy until she kissed me. She openly admits how attracted she is to me. I can see the want and lust in her eyes sometimes. At first I worried it was just my vampire charm and the usual draw of our good looks, but no she loves me like I love her, totally and completely. She told me she wants to take our relationship to the next stage. I don't even know what that means. I haven't been as honest with her as she has with me. I haven't admitted to Bella that I am a virgin and have not kissed anyone either. Yes I've had to fight off the advances of an amorous vampire called Tanya but I never kissed her. I don't know if I dare tell Bella my secrets. I suppose I should, she didn't batter an eye when she found out I was a vampire.
It always brings a smile to my lips remembering what she said to me that night when I told her what I was. It doesn't matter, she had said to me. I thought then how brave she was, not afraid to be alone with me, wanting to spend time with me, wanting to get to know me. Liking kissing me so much she actually almost jumped my bones the first couple of times. It was a real test of my control. I passed with flying colours. I know now I could never have hurt her, it would be like hurting myself.
My brother Emmett thinks Bella is great he thinks she's funny because she is so clumsy and blushes all the time. I know like me he'd protect her from anyone or anything that tried to hurt her. My brother Jasper struggles around her, he has not been following our diet as long as the rest of us and been in such close proximity to a human challenges him every day. I try to keep them apart but its hard because Alice my sister is Bella's best friend and she happens to be Jasper's partner. She wants to spend time with them both. Rosalie my older sister is more reserved she is jealous because Bella is still human and Rosalie would love to be in that position. My mother and father Esme and Carlisle love Bella, I know they already think of her as a daughter, they know I intend to be with her for as long as she is alive. Bella's life is a talking point, that is because Bella has asked me to change her. She wants to be with me forever, she doesn't consider it becoming a monster. I have of course refused, I won't even consider it. I could never take away her soul. I love her too much.
Edward Cullen the man no not man but boy vampire of my dreams. From the very first day I moved to Forks and attended school I was head over heels for him. He was of course absolutely stunning to look at, tall, slim without being skinny, eyes to die for and reddish brown sex hair. One of the first things I noticed about him was his hair I just wanted to rake my fingers through it whilst kissing him senseless. His hands too so attractive. Long slim fingers surely made for something arty. I later found out my Edward plays the piano. And he does it so beautifully.
When I first found out what Edward is I pretended not to care. The realisation over the next few days of what it actually meant made me think about our relationship a lot. He would live forever, and I would age and then die. He wanted my blood, it drive him mad calling to him. He has super human strength, he can run faster than any car, his brother Jasper struggles being around me daily often wanting to sink his teeth into my neck, Edward loves me. I love him too desperately and that is what makes what he is not matter. I didn't really have a choice in the matter he is my soul mate.
I love his family as if they are my own. His sister Alice has become my best friend. His brothers and sisters treat me like one of the family. Except Jasper, Alice's partner she tells me its because he struggles to be around any human not only me. He has not been a vegetarian (their private family joke) as long as the rest of them.
Edward and I spend a lot of our free time in our meadow. It's a place Edward has always thought special. Its even more so now, its where we talk and learn about each other. Its where we shared our first kiss and I tried to jump his bones, its where I first swooned when he breathed on me. It's the place we both said our first I love you's. A very special place indeed. I'd asked Edward to make me a vampire the last time we went there. He was appalled at my request and screamed in my face. I can't agree with his reasoning. He wants me stay human so he doesn't take my soul away.
Alice has assured me she's seen me as a vampire but she cannot tell me when. She dare not tell Edward. He is so protective over my soul.
I'm spending the weekend with Alice at the Cullen house. The boys are going hunting so us girls are having a sleep over. Edward has bought a bed for his room especially for my visits. He's still there when I first arrive. Unlike my Dad Carlisle and Esme are cool about us spending all our time up in Edward's bedroom. Charlie would have a dickyfit if he knew. He leads me upstairs holding my hand gently. I am stunned when I see a huge queen size bed in the middle of his room. The bed is made of solid brass and is very ornate. It's a four poster and the drapes around it are a perfect match for the bedding. A deep gold accented with a lush cream. It takes me all my time to climb up onto the bed but it feels lovely and comfortable. I tell Edward it will be wasted as he doesn't sleep.
He seems reluctant to leave me, he promises to be back tomorrow night so we can spend at least one night together. I know he means in a platonic way, but it will still be lovely just being together. He kisses me goodbye and when I open my eyes I'm alone on the massive bed. Alice joins me shortly after and hugs me to her, she knows I'm missing him already.
A girly sleep over is not really me. I'm not one for manicures and pedicures and make overs hold no interest like clothes. Clothes to me should be practical. Clothes to Alice say designer expensive and chic. She's adamant she'll bring me around to her way of thinking soon. I let Alice play Bella Barbie with me, Rosalie as usual keeps her distance although I can see she watches us from time to time. Esme acts like a typical mother hen, making sure I eat, making sure I go to bed to sleep at a reasonable hour. With the Cullen's not sleeping they sometimes forget about my needs. A text from Edward usually reminds them of my needs.
The bed is a dream, its so comfy I sleep really well and wake refreshed. Alice has a day of shopping planned. Lovely. Not. We are driving to Olympia the capital of Washington state but not as big as Seattle and much nicer. The drive will be longer as Olympia is much farther south but at vampire speed I suppose I won't notice. Esme will drive all four of us in Carlisle's luxury black Mercedes.
A Saturday spent clothes shopping is not my idea of fun. Alice is so funny when faced with designer shops and a whole load of departmental stores. She literally flits from one to the other, picking up clothes holding them up against herself or me. I wouldn't be seen dead in half the stuff she has hanging over her arm. I'm relieved when its over, Alice pays for all her purchases, I smile gratefully but Alice knows I'm uncomfortable. We head back home where Edward will be waiting.
The girls aren't home when I get back. I know Alice had a day of shopping planned. Bella will love that, Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper have stayed out hunting. I was always going to come back before them to spend some quality time with Bella. School start again next week and whilst I have changed much of my timetable to be with Bella I could not do every lesson. A day and night of just us is just what I have ordered. I've even been watching the cooking channel with Esme overnight so that I could cook Bella a meal tonight. I have set up a small table in my room with candles and have selected my favourite music for the background. I want to set the mood, I want her to feel romanced and loved.
I hear the Merc pull off the highway and wind its way towards the house. I open the door and wait. It's stupid I know but I can't wait to see her and I'm in love so I guess it's allowed. I catch her scent before the car is visible to even me. I think I could pick scent out miles away now I am so attuned to it. I have her car door open before the car truly halts. I pull her into my arms. I run with her in my arms into the house. She giggles in delight although a little embarrassed at my PDA in front of the rest of my family. I don't care, I'm not embarrassed about the way I feel about Bella. I want to shout it to the whole world. My only problem with that would be drawing too much attention to myself and then maybe someone looking too closely at me and my family. I'm already breaking all the rules by Bella knowing what we are. Our rulers for the want of a better word feel strongly about our kind being kept a secret. The Volturi an ancient ruling family consist of three brothers Aro, Marcus and Caius. They have a formidable guard around them. Carlisle lived with them many years ago for a while but they are not like us and Carlisle struggled to adapt to their lifestyle.
Alice gives Bella several bags before I'm allowed to whisk her away to the sanctuary of my room. She needs a human moment so I go ahead and make sure everything is ready. Esme will serve the meal in about an hour. I hope she likes it. If tonight goes well I have a special weekend planned for Bella's Birthday which is fast approaching. She doesn't want a fuss, Alice wants to throw her a 18th party but I'm reluctant knowing how much Bella hates being the centre of attention. I have something much more cosy planned. Tonight is a test of my control, can I spend the night laying next to her undressed. She probably wants to move our relationship to that next stage. Can I do that without hurting her, without draining every ounce of her delicious smelling blood. I need to know I can do this before I take her away for a special Birthday weekend.
When she walks into my room the breath I don't need is knocked clean out of me. She is dressed in a short azure blue dress, off the shoulder and daringly low cut. It's very short and Bella's legs are incredibly long and I have to gulp several times to get rid of the venom pooling in my mouth. She looks absolutely stunning, breathtaking literally. Her hair is down but gently curling around her face and over her bare shoulders. How am I ever going to restrain myself. I'm going to kill my sister for doing this to my already fragile resolve. I walk over to her and take her hand. She smiles shyly up at me. She has no idea how ravishing she is. I lean down to her slowly cautioning her with my eyes not to over react. If she over reacts now looking like this I'll definitely struggle to control myself.
A chaste kiss is placed on her lips and I tell how beautiful she looks, I lead her to the small table I'd set up earlier. The candles flicker around me I suppose it could be do with how cold I am. I don't really know. I sit opposite her and we hold hands over the table. She appears to like what I have done and we chat casually about her night of Bella Barbie and her day with Alice shopping. We are so comfortable together, talking kissing just being together is all we need.
A quiet knock at my door reveals Esme and the Bella's dinner. It smells revolting to me but I'm assured Bella will love it. Chicken served in a creamy white sauce with mushrooms and onions on a bed of rice with green veggie's. All very healthy and containing a good balance of what a human should eat every day. I want to ensure Bella keeps as healthy as possible she'll need to be if she is going to be spending all her time in the company of vampires.
She tells me the food is good and laughs when I tell her I made it. I take the finished plates down to the kitchen while Bella has a shower and gets ready for bed. Alice gives me funny look when she asks me if I liked Bella's dress, she knows I did. She silently communicates that I'll like her night wear even more. Once in the kitchen I lean over the counter and groan. A hand on my back tells me Esme knows what Alice has done.
"Just go with the flow Edward, don't be scared you won't hurt her physically, you may emotionally if you reject her advances without a thought. Talk to each other make boundaries and ensure you both stick to them. I love you son and I know you can do this for Bella's sake." She places a small kiss on my cold cheek.
I need to calm down a bit so head outside for a run. I can do a couple of miles and be back before Bella will even know I'm gone. Running has always calmed me, it's one of my favourite things to do. I think long and hard whilst I'm running and know that Bella and will be able to move forward tonight, maybe not as forward as she'd like but forward non the less. I head home to see what she has in store.
She's still in the bathroom although I can't hear any noise. I wonder if she's okay. I knock quietly on the door and ask
"Bella, are you okay in there?"
"I'm fine Edward I'll be out shortly," she says in a shaky voice.
I can tell from her voice she is very nervous, Why? I wonder. Alice probably has her in some fancy night clothes that she feels uncomfortable in. Poor Bella. I'm changing the music when I hear the bathroom door open slowly. She steps out ever so slowly, I almost drop to my knees when I see what she has on. You can't really call them night clothes or clothes at all really. A tiny camisole top with spaghetti straps in the darkest blue I have ever seen edged with black lace and skimpy boy shorts again in blue with black lace edges. They leave nothing and I mean absolutely nothing to the imagination. The sight travels straight to my nether regions, I'm embarrassed that my jeans are now too tight and I'm exhibiting a huge boner. I hope to god she doesn't look at me there. Her eyes are the moment are trained on her feet. She is clearly mortified by what Alice has chosen for her to wear. On the nights I stay in Bella's room while she sleeps I'm used to fleecy PJ's and sweat pants and tops. Even those get me going. I swear I will never make it through the night. Neither of us are moving, I decide to take the bull by the horns and walk slowly towards her.
"Bella love, you look incredible. You are so beautiful. I love you, you know that don't you?" I ask wanting to make sure she knows how I feel before I set out my rules for tonight.
She nods her head and looks up at me. I cannot resist holding my arms out to her. She steps into them. She feels so soft, so warm and she smells fantastic. I nuzzle her hair it gets her scent right up my nose and deep in my mind. I need to have her this close so I don't forget what she smells like, it helps me control my inner beast. We stand holding each other, I'm conscious she'll be able to feel my erection against her and I can certainly feel her erect nipples against me. I lift her chin up to me and kiss her on the lips. I know from previous occasions Bella's human hormones will soon take over and I'm ready for that. As expected she rakes her hands through my hair and moans into my mouth. Her tongue gently licking my lips asking for entrance to my mouth. I grant it making sure my razor sharp teeth are covered at all times.
I have always refused her entry before, I have never dared allow us to kiss like this. It's amazing, every nerve end is alive with feelings I did not know existed until I met Bella. It's a natural thing to do when I pull her even closer to me and we grind our hips into each other. I am ecstatic and scared to death all at the same time. I cannot believe how incredible this feels having the girl I love, near naked pressed up against me, kissing me like her life depended on it. She brings me back down to earth with a bang when she whispers
"Edward I want you, I want you inside me right now."
Staggering backwards I break some of our contact, shocked not at her words so much as how close we had been to over stepping my rules. Still holding her hand I lead her to the bed. She climbs in and pulls down the covers for me to join her. I do lay beside her, my breath ragged, I turn to face her knowing now is the time to set the boundaries. She is not going to be happy, I've caused this by kissing her that way. Now she'll be disappointed and hurt by my actions.
I tell her my thoughts on moving our relationship forward. I know from her reactions she wants more. I will not agree to making love, its far too dangerous, I will agree to touching with or without clothes as long as she promises to respect a no when I say it. It is after all for her own good. She wants some rules of her own. I have to be dressed in only the same as she is. Where she touches me I have to touch her. Touching can be with hands or mouths. I try to argue this point, it's too much but she won't budge. I reluctantly agree. I think its time I told her my other secret. This will be embarrassing for me.
A wry smile comes to her lips when she hears I too am a virgin, I too had never kissed anyone before her. She giggles when I tell her I don't know what to do, I have been going in instinct, purely following the thoughts the new feelings are creating. She agrees that this is what she has been doing too. I do tell her about Tanya's incessant advances. About how uncomfortable they made me feel especially hearing her lewd thoughts about what she wanted to do to me. I felt nothing other than fear. Those feelings I thought were impossible for me until Bella, now I know I was right to resist Tanya. I was simply waiting for the right person, my Bella to be born.
I'm so glad the Cullen men aren't home Emmett would be having a field day listening to our conversation and he'd be beside himself with all the sexual tension. It was a good plan of Carlisle's for them to stay away tonight. Its's getting late and Bella needs to sleep, she has to be back at Charlie's by noon. She insists I get undressed and lie beside her. I argue she'll be cold, she doesn't care she wants to be in my arms all night. I'll wrap her in the quilt once she's asleep. I take my clothes off and neatly fold them and put the away. She watches my every move. I'm positive I see her lick her lips when she catches the first glimpse of my Armani boxers. How do I deal with a girlfriend who clearly desires me and is almost naked in my bed?
Edward is waiting when we pull up. He looks so happy to see us. He has the car door open and me out in a flash. I blush as he sweeps me into his arms and dashes into the house. Alice follows giving me several bags to take upstairs. She's put a note in each bag telling me what to wear and when. I notice too a strawberry scented shower gel in the bag, its just like the one I use at home.
I take off to the bathroom claiming the ever useful need of a human minute. I'll meet Edward in his room when I'm ready. I know he has planned a special evening and night.
After a quick shower I look into the bags. In the first is a note reading
This is what to wear for bed. It will drive him mad. Be yourself Bella you are a beautiful young woman and he loves you distraction. Enjoy! Alice X
I had never seen anything so blatantly sensual in my whole life. Dark blue silk edged with a black lace a tiny camisole top and boy shorts. Would I ever dare wear something like that? Probably not even alone never mind with Edward. But if it got the reaction I so desperately wanted from him it would be worth it. I hang it up so the creases drop out the steam from the shower will work a treat. Its an old trick Renee showed me. In the second bag the note reads
Where this for dinner. He will love the colour on you and set the scene for the rest of your night
Insideis an azure blue cocktail dress short is not the description I would use, obscene is far more appropriate. It stops just on my thigh, I know my legs are okay but gee, the colour looks good but the off shoulder neckline plunges far too low for my liking I would never wear this outside. It fits perfectly, hugging all the right places. I feel quite sexy for once although I'm probably a darker shade than beetroot right now. I'm freshly waxed at Alice's insistence, so no need for tights. Stocking not an option due to the shortness of the dress. My hair is shining I decide to leave it down and brush it into place. Confident I can do no more I walk into the room.
He seems pleased with the results his eyes speak volumes. He comes over to me and takes my hand, his eyes caution me to be good as he places a gentle kiss on my lips. Dinner is lovely I can't quite believe he has learnt to cook for me. He is very determined that I stay healthy making sure his meal consists of everything I should eat every day. We talk and laugh for what seems like hours. We are so at ease with each other. I feel like I've known him my whole life. I intend to make sure we spend the rest of eternity together. He can argue all he wants, he's not the only vampire I know.
Yawning I draw his attention to the fact that I do need to sleep. He takes the plates down to the kitchen whilst I get ready for bed. Another shower this time long and hot helps my nerves I don't know how I am going to walk out in front of him dressed in those two pieces of clothing. A knock at the bathroom door tells me I've been in here too long. I tell him I'll be right out. Once I put them on they feel wonderful they are obviously very expensive. The camisole hugs me in all the right places, the boy shorts fit my bottom to perfection. How Alice knows exactly what size to buy I don't know, she is a genius. I have to admit even for me I look really sexy. Edward will think I'm wearing this on purpose, hoping to cause a reaction. He'll be upset with me, even though Alice assures me he'll be bowled over. With a deep breath I open the door slowly.
I can see he is over at the music station, I look down as he turns. I don't want to see his face now in case he hates it. He doesn't move I sneak a peek at his glorious face. His eyes are devouring me, he is standing in an odd position, I can tell why when my eyes glance toward his crotch. At least that's the reaction I was hoping for. I'm in his arms in seconds, his mouth in my hair. We kiss gently at first but then something changes and I can feel the subtle change in both of us. I tentatively lick on his bottom lip asking for entry. He has always pulled back at this stage before too frightened of hurting me or of losing control. Tonight he doesn't pull back if anything he pulls me closer and our bodies are grinding into each other at the hip. I can feel his enormous erection near my centre and my nipples harden at the thought of what may happen.
I can't stop myself pushing into him harder, It feels wonderful, a groan escapes my lips and I say I want you inside me now. This comment does get the usual reaction from him and he pushes me away. He does however keep hold of my hand, he pulls me over to the bed and puts me under the quilt. I pull down the quilt beside me and gesture for him to join me. He does fully clothed and refuses to get too close stating that I'll be cold.
He wants to talk about boundaries, which roughly translates to meaning I'm not getting laid tonight. Edward and his boundaries. He is agreeable to relaxing some of his previous rules but will not even discuss intercourse. I stand my ground on touching with our mouths, his eyes are still black, I know from what Alice has told me it's a sign of thirst or lust. I know he's not thirsty. He tells me something then that makes me understand why he insists on propriety at all times. He like me is a virgin, hard to believe I know over a hundred years and pure as un driven snow. Its quite sweet, but at least I now understand his reluctance. He tells me about Tanya a beautiful vampire from the Denali clan who has pursued him for more than eighty years. He tell me how she ambushed him many times and stole kisses and had lewd thoughts about what she wanted to do to him. He assured me he never once thought about returning her kisses and never had any intention of giving in to her requests for sex.
I believe him without a doubt, his face is so appalled when he is telling me. How could I not. I wonder how I can get my vampire boyfriend onto the twenty first century. Its getting late and he insists I get some rest I have to be back home by noon to spend some time with Charlie before he goes to work. After reaching a compromise I make Edward undress and lay next to me properly in his boxers. Our new rule is that we should be both be undressed to the same level. I watch as he undresses. He is so sexy and he doesn't even know it. I cannot resist a lick of my lips when his jeans fall to reveal a pair of white Armani boxers. I know he's seen my reaction, I wait with anticipation as he crawls in beside me.
He tries to stay as far away from me as possible but I'm not having that and I scoot over and wrap myself around him. I let my leg hitch over his and I hear a gasp of breath. I look up at his face.
"Too much?" I ask shyly.
"Give me a minute please then I'll be okay." he says not breathing.
I can't believe he isn't going to move me or get out of the bed himself. We have made progress. I lay quietly resting my head on his wonderful chest. He has a sprinkling of hairs and I love them he and they are so sexy. I drop tiny kisses to his chest now his breathing has started again. I cannot resist taking one of his nipples into my mouth, my tongue rolling the hard nub. He has always told me that if I touch him the sensation is incredible I decide to test it by nibbling on his nipple to see if he likes that too.
I'm flat on my back with Edward hovering over me in a flash. His eyes once again coal black with pure lust.
"Don't ever do that again Bella," he says in an almost groan.
" I swear you really do have a death wish and I will finish up dead too." he says it quietly looking straight into my eyes. His eyes devouring me.
He lowers himself down slowly and kisses me with such passion he takes my breath away. I return his kiss and soon our tongues dance the dance of seduction. Neither tongue gains dominance both content to dance and explore. It is an incredible kiss. I can feel my body reacting more and more as he deepens the kiss. I need to pull him close, I need him to feel what he does to me. I need him full stop.
My boy shorts are wet now my womanly juices flowing freely out of my most intimate of places. Edward has extra sensitive senses so I know he is well aware of my arousal. As aware as I am of his. A tree trunk throbbing against my stomach. My fingers move from his hair and snake down and around his back. He growls a little, he obviously likes it. I get a little braver and move my hand even lower and cup his arse. That gets a reaction and he thrusts his lower body harder into me. Our dry humping is incredibly sexy I love it. This feels so good I cannot wait to try the real thing. I realise I must not rush him, we have made such good progress tonight. My hand reaches its destination and I curl my fingers around his hard shaft. Even though I am on the outside of his boxers he trembles beneath me. I'm sure any second I'll be on my own and he'll be gone standing in the corner trying to regain his composure. He doesn't move, he doesn't even speak. He stops taking breaths which tells me to slow down. He hasn't told me to stop, he hasn't said no. After what I think is an acceptable pause I slowly start to knead him. I have no idea what I'm doing of course so I just do what seems right. I massage him all over his length, his breath is now coming in gasps I'm sure he's actually purring. He buries his face in my neck, kissing, licking and nibbling. He is driving me insane.
Dare I slip my hand inside his boxers. I cannot see the difference in what I'm already doing so I decide once again to move us along a little. I only get to the elastic at the top when his hand stops me and he says a firm no. Fair enough, we had agreed I would honour this word. He stuns me then by moving his hands to my breasts, now its my turn to catch my breath. His hands are gentle as he kneads and caresses. He tweaks my nipples between his thumb and forefinger. I cannot stop myself lifting off the bed thrusting at him.
"Too many clothes Bella" he says pulling me up and removing the camisole top. He throws it on the floor next to the bed. I can't believe I'm not embarrassed by my near nakedness. I don't care I want Edward to worship my body. He looks down at me and smiles before taking my breasts in turn into his mouth. He is skilled without even knowing it. His tongue twirling around my nipples, they are hard and erect. He chuckles and rubs his nose over the hard nub.
Laid in bed with Edward wearing only boy shorts and him wearing only boxers is more than I could have ever hoped for when I came to stay for the weekend. Tonight I have real hope that maybe one day soon we will be able to be together in every sense of the word.
Now its time for me to sleep, next time we are together like this I intend to experience my first orgasm. I also intend to make sure Edward experiences his first too.