Do You Like… Burning with Such Passion?
A Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann Fic
Yoko could feel the heat and warmth of a blush still in her face. Kamina had kissed her!
She tripped over a rock as she wandered back to her sleeping bag. She recovered a little awkwardly and quickly looked around to see if anyone under the starry sky had noticed. She giggled to herself when she realized that the rest of the Dai-Gurren Bridage was still asleep. None of them knew yet what was between her and Kamina!
Part of her realized she was being stupidly lovesick, but she pushed it away, deciding that she could revel in this feeling when no one else was around.
It wasn't just that she had been in love with him, but that he, the great Kamina-sama, loved her too. Even though she knew she wore relatively little was pretty, and, well, endowed, she had felt completely insignificant when standing next to Kamina. She had often wondered if he really noticed her—after their initial meeting, his attention was always on Simon or fighting the Beastmen. Something vastly more important than just one little Yoko.
Except now she too had claimed a part of the man Kamina was. She wrapped her arms around her sides. Kamina! She could still feel the warmth of his body by the chill of the night against her skin. His lips had been warm, hot even, and she tried not to giggle aloud when she thought about how that made sense according to his hot-blooded nature.
She didn't want to get too ahead of herself, but he had promised her ten times that kiss after they won the next battle. And Yoko was quite aware that she was already fourteen… She had kissed a few boys before she had left Littner Village, but Kamina, well, he was a man. She was exhilarated, to be sure, but maybe there was also a hint of nervousness too. What exactly was ten times a kiss from Kamina? She felt her blush returning fully.
She reached her sleeping spot and sat on her blankets, staring up at the stars. They seemed so far away usually, but as she watched, the twinkled and their brilliant shapes seemed to come alive. When she was with Kamina, they didn't seem so far and she believed they could actually get there. The impossible seemed possible with him. He had that crazy strength and absolute magnetism that made him infallible. He was simply, utterly, irrisitably Kamina.
Should she throw down her rifle and run into his arms for a kiss when the Gurren's hatch opened after they took the Dai-Ganzan? Would he wrap those strong tattooed arms around her, his Gar-glasses reflecting her smiling face? And then the rest of the crew would gasp, hold still for moment, and then cheer for their lord and his woman. Everyone would celebrate. Yoko tried to contain her grin and focus instead on taking off her boots.
Once they were neatly unzipped and set aside for the next morning, she flopped down on her back. The wind caressed her face, ruffling her bangs, and she still couldn't get Kamina's arrogant smile out of her mind. He was terribly handsome, that rogue. But so reckless! Yoko couldn't help but love that part of him, even though most would consider it a personality fault. She too had always been the reckless one in her village. What else would any of the village elders consider a rifle-toting girl wearing only a bikini top, short-shorts and cowboy boots? She could easily respect doing what others thought inappropriate or reckless. And it was his recklessness that was his confidence—nothing could stop him once he had decided it. His daring courage would stop at nothing less than success.
And while he played the macho hero, she'd be at his side. A reckless man on his own tended to overlook things—Kamina needed someone to watch his blind spot. Being nearly as reckless, she would naturally already be in the fray and watching his back would be a piece of cake. Technically, watching his back would also afford her a good view of his butt. She stifled a giggle. Her face had never felt so hot as it had in the last ten minutes. Someone else—probably Kittan—let out a hideous snore from across the camp. Yoko pulled her blankets up to her chin, thinking that she should probably sleep. She patted her rifle, the common nighttime placement and action reassuring. They all had a big day ahead….
She sighed up at the heavens. Kamina had kissed her. Kamina.
She had to stop thinking about him or she'd never get any sleep. She grinned again and shut her eyes.
Yoko was crying. It was all she could do, all she had been able to do lately. The promises Kamina had made could never be fulfilled. Who would have ever thought that it would be that man who would let her down? Who would have ever thought that Kamina would….
Her body ached. Not just her heart—that was simply a dull, hollow place in her chest now—but her brain and her muscles and her joints and everything. Yoko only spiraled down, deeper into herself. She couldn't understand and process Kamina. He had always been the driving force behind the Dai-Gurren Brigade. Without Kamina…
…she at least was nothing. Yoko didn't have time to think about how anyone else was doing after the… Kamina's….
Yoko couldn't bring herself to even think the words. It was all so tender and raw inside. Her throat hurt from sobbing, her palms from slamming them against the walls, even her legs from simply standing in mute silence for too long. She couldn't think about it, but couldn't not think about it.
Suddenly, all her dreams of them together seemed pitiful and inconsequential. She had gotten so far ahead of herself, hadn't she. Dreaming of kissing Kamina again, of feeling his deep voice rumble through his chest… she'd always wanted him to run a calloused hand through her ponytail. Would he have marveled at its softness? New tears ran their familiar tracks down her salty cheeks. She would never know. Everything was over just as it was starting.
It was hard to believe anything he had said now. He had promised her the stars along with ten times a single shared kiss. Piercing the heavens must be impossible if he hadn't even been able to give her one more kiss. She lost her faith in him even as she wished for him to be with her more than ever. If he could do the impossible, why wasn't he here now?
But there was guilt too. Hadn't she promised to watch his back? Make sure nothing happened to him while he was being his reckless self that she so loved? Why hadn't she been able to help? Was she really so useless as to be unable to protect the man she loved? It was as if all her years of training in Littner Village had been for nothing. Her rifle was worthless if it hadn't saved Kamina. She felt her shoulders shake uncontrollably and knew her brief respite from sobbing was at an end.
She couldn't help it; she missed him. And the weight of his absence was too heavy for her to grapple with. She was pinned down in misery, only spinning to fall down further into her misery.
Yoko sank to the floor of her room, her knees thumping softly first, before her behind came in contact with the cool surface. Her bare arms encircled her sides, hugging herself tightly as if she'd fall apart. Sobs wracked her lithe body, and she felt uncontrollably small and frail for the first time since she could remember. Her passion seemed to have burned her from the inside until it rolled through her defenses to douse her in a flood of tears.
The truth of her life now was heartlessly clear. Yoko had to think the unthinkable….
…There would be no more self-deceit; no more hoping in vain; no more faith in doing the impossible. She couldn't see the invisible or touch the untouchable anymore, because the unbreakable had already broken. And along with it, her heart.
Kamina was gone.
She would have chosen ten kisses over piercing the heavens.
Omg, gaiz, I wrote something. Gurren Lagann, yeah, but hopefully once I'm off my summer schedule, I'll actually have time for more writing. Sounds good, yeah? Anyway, this was a bit of fluff and then angst. Send thanks for getting me off my lazy writing butt to the lovely SlvrSoleAlchmst1. She suggested I write something about Yoko and maybe throw in some angst. So. Voilà! It was a lot harder than I expected and I'm not terribly pleased with it, but I hope you liked it.