Informing the Stupid

Summary: **Part of the 'Telling a Different Way' series** Kennedy gives the speech in her own special way. WARNING: sort of unkind to Riley!

Warning: I don't know; some language and violence somewhere along the way.

Timeline: post-'Chosen' for BtVS; season 6 'Sanguine Love' for CSI: NY.

Challenge: #5745 ''The World is Older Than You Know'...remix' by GottaLUVmyth.

A/N: This is my first attempt at being nice to Kennedy in a story…that I can remember. Hopefully I can pull it off. Had to make up for it in another way. Sorry, it's been a while since I've seen the episode so I'm winging it a little.

Thanks to my betas: still unbeta'd.

Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. CSI characters belong to Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, Ann Donahue and CBS. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

Vampire party location

Mac and Stella followed Flack as he broke in the door to the 'vampire's' home. This case was bizarre – even for New York. People calling vampirism a religion? What's next? Ritual sacrifice as a hobby?

They started to explain that they were conducting a search warrant when a young brunette female ordered them to shut up. Them! The New York City police! What was even odder was when they stopped talking – mostly in shock – she began yelling at all the people in the room.

"What the hell is wrong with you people? I mean, some of you look like reasonably intelligent people, so I don't understand how you could be so monumentally stupid!"

The head vampire, Vance, interrupted her at this point, "Listen here, young lady, you have no right to interfere in our religion. We-"

"No right? It's morons like these people that keep me in business! Well, actually that's not exactly true. You vampires would exist even without groups like this, but they just make it easy for you to target 'victims'. God, I didn't believe Buffy and Giles when they told us this sort of thing really went on. Course, it isn't exactly the same thing as they described. The suckhouses they talked about were an equal mixture of vamps and idiots. Here you only have two vamps."

Mac had to speak up at this point, "What are you talking about, Miss…?"

She ignored the prompt for her name and went straight into the new speech, developed for the younger generation, "The new official version is this:

'A freakin' long time ago – way longer than you'd think – baddies like vampires and demons basically ruled the world. Then some assholes got the bright idea to save themselves by forcing the essence of a demon into some poor girl from their tribe, making her the first Slayer. Since there was only one of her and way more of the baddies, she obviously didn't last very long. That forced the essence into the next poor girl.

'Ever since, there's been one girl fighting all the bad guys and she never had a chance for a life…or to beat the forces of evil that roamed the entire world, 'cause honestly? One girl for six populated continents? Like that was ever going to work.

'Fortunately for us, unfortunately for evil, this changed recently and there's a lot more Slayers around now. The baddies are running scared and looking to escape our world.'

"Except for a few stupid ones like the two here tonight." She looked at the group and called out, "You might as well come out now 'cause I am going to find you and stake you. If you make me chase you, it's gonna hurt a lot more."

"You can't threaten to kill somebody in the presence of the police," Flack declared indignantly.

The young lady simply rolled her eyes at the detective. "Can't kill what's already dead." She yelled at the group again, "Front and center, fang-faces, before I have to get angry!"

Pushing aside the people around him, one of the vampires walked up to the young Slayer and asked, "What happened to Buffy?"

"She's okay; living it up in Miami with her new sweetie – some detective who's the dad of her best friend." The Slayer studied him for a moment, then inquired, "How do you know her? You aren't another vamp with a soul, are you?"

"God, no! One of those is more than enough!" he replied with a shudder.

"Two," she corrected. "Spike and Angel both have souls now. It's the only thing that saved their asses after Buffy found out about LA and their idiotic plan to take on the Senior Partners. Luckily we got there in time to stop the invasion that would have destroyed the city, or possibly the state."

The vampire looked almost happy at the news, which struck the Slayer as odd. "So she isn't with either of them?" he asked, which pretty much explained his bizarre attitude.

"No, like I said before, she's hooked up with a cop. But at least he's older, so we can still give her crap about dating outside her generation." She hesitated before staking him, suddenly unsure whether she should or not. "Who are you?"

"Name's Riley," he answered. "And I'm proof of what happens when a vampire gets their hands on an idiot. We could never figure out why the demon population had decreased so much, so fast. At least I know what happened before you stake me."

The brunette's eyes widened in recognition. "You're her ex! The demon hunter guy. She told us it was because of you that she broke up with Spike – which led to him going to get his soul so he could be worthy of her. What the fuck happened to you?"

"Oh god, please don't tell her the truth, but after the team I was on was disbanded, I felt lost again. Anyway, I started going back to those suckhouses you mentioned earlier, and finally there was a vamp who didn't follow the rules. Guess she wanted a new pet or something. Next thing I knew, I was a vamp. Since I didn't want to be staked right away, I found groups like this one where I could have willing blood donors," he explained. "It works most of the time, but I still slip up from time to time."

"I think I'll just tell her a vamp got you; let her keep the memory of you as a hero in her mind." She cleared her throat awkwardly as she saw the people around them and was reminded of her earlier tirade. "Care to help the cause one more time? Show these people the danger that they let into their midst?"

He nodded, "Sure, why not. Can I know the name of the Slayer who staked me?" he asked as he vamped out for the crowd. He closed his eyes to fight the urge to go after the yummy-smelling meals who were gasping and screaming in fear.

"Kennedy," she whispered in his ear as she drove the stake into his heart. As she did so, Vance took advantage of her distracted state to hit her, vamping out as his blow struck.

"Slayer!" he hissed, "I've always wanted to taste a Slayer's blood. Now that you've screwed up my perfect plan, I'm going to drain you dry!"

"Ha!" Kennedy laughed, much to the astonishment of the crowd. "I win the lottery tonight. 'Drain you dry' was the threat on the board. Any Slayer who got that one tonight doesn't have laundry duty for a week."

"Freeze!" all three cops yelled belatedly. Flack drew his weapon on Kennedy while Stella and Mac were focused on Vance.

"Bullets can't hurt me/him," Vance and Kennedy responded in unison just before he attacked her again. Despite shooting him several times, the cops watched from the sidelines as Kennedy took out another stake and slayed him as well.

Before the cops or partygoers could react, she pushed a button on her necklace. "Remember what could have happened if he had been less patient and more bloodthirsty. If you want an unusual religion, try Wicca." Then she stepped through the portal that her necklace had opened and disappeared.

A/N: Huh, I really had intended for this to be more bashy of Riley. I realize it was odd for a vamp to be so cooperative, but that's the way Musie went with it. Since she's a stubborn bitch, I gave in.

A/N2: Saw this episode (one of only a few I've watched), and wondered how the BtVS/AtS people would react to the vampire club.