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Codename: Kids Next Door

Operation: L.E.G.I.O.N.







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At a gloomy, misty swamp, a glowing red portal cuts through the haze. It flickers for a minute before stabilizing. The first person to step through was a short, fat kid covered in bling. "I must say evil Jimmy, this technology is extremely impressive." Bling Bling Boy complimented.

"So he managed to build a teleporter. I am clearly the most intelligent one in this group!" exclaimed Mandark as he walked through the portal soon after.

"You may be a bigger nerd Mandark, but Evil Jimmy has a few things you lack. Creativity, personality, a sense of humor..." Negative Numbah 4, A.K.A. Yllaw Seltaeb said as he joined his co-conspirators. "Remember that time we hide a rattlesnake in that one kid's mailbox? That was hilarious!"

"Oh yeah, that was a good one, but the time has come to move on to bigger and better things!" stated the founder of the Doom-based Legion as he stepped through the tear in reality. "And by the way, from now on, call me Jimmy E. Evil Jimmy takes too long to say."

"So just vhat is our plan anyvay? You clearly need our help vith something." asked Heinrich Von Marzipan as he joined his co-conspirators.

"Yeah, who do we put ON ICE!" Brainfreezer asked, putting emphasising on cold-related words, as usual.

"Patience, my friends. Patience. I'll explain once we're inside." Jimmy E. replied.

"Inside where! This is disgusting swamp is no place for the queen of the beach!" King Sandy exclaimed while walking through the portal hand in hand with Mushi.

"I must confess, I am also failing to see this new hideout you have promised us." former fourth grade president for life Jimmy Nixon (who will be refereed to as just Jimmy) asked. "Ana, are my glasses out of place?" he then added sarcastically

"No sir. We are actually in a swamp." Ana replied while stepping through the portal after her boyfriend.

"Yeah you negative jerks, where the BLEEP is our base!" Cartman asked with his typical profanity. The evil little fat kid's physical apperance had taken a considerable turn for the worst since we last saw him. His body had been damaged by the acid an annoyed Mandark had poured on him, and his form deteriorated further after a harsh beating from Numbah 84 and Kyle. He was still just as fat, but his bones had softened and his hair had grayed slightly. His mouth was still as foul as ever though.

"Wherever we're gonna be staying, it better be big enough to put some major distance between me and him!" Princess Morebucks complained while joining her accomplices. "And it better not have any of this disgusting swamp water in it!"

"You can say that again..." grumbled Kyle. As soon as he finished speaking, the portal closed behind him.

"All of you quit your grumbling! Mandy was kind enough to leave this lovely piece of tech laying around in low orbit." Jimmy E. stated while hitting a button on his watch. The swamp began to rumble, and the skull shaped Doom-based Hall rose from the gloomy swamp. At this, Ana raised her hand.

"Uh, yeah. If you're such a genius, why did you have to steal someone elses technology?" she asked.

" 'Cause I'm evil!" replied Jimmy E. "Now all of you get inside, so I can explain what the plan is."

(KND symbol)

A short while later, the newest villain team was gathered around a U-shaped table in a spacey meeting room. Jimmy E. stood on a podium in the center of it all. He cleared his throat, then began speaking.

"Now, before I explain our plan, I think a little back story is called for." he declared. "I was created as a clone of Jimmy Neutron, the self-proclaimed "boy genius." He didn't have the guts to do any dirty work, so he used a flawed cloning method to create me and several other inferior copies. He managed to freeze the other duplicates, bit I escaped, and was later tossed out of this universe, and into the Negative Universe where I had the great fortune to meet Negative 4 here."

"In my world, I am the Soopreme Leader of the DNK, the opposite of the Kids Next Door that forces all the other kids to do all the adults work for them!" Negative Numbah 4 began. "It was the perfect existence. I never had to do any homework, I had minions that feared and respected me..."

"Was zhere candy?" Heinrich unexpectedly asked, interrupting Negative 4's speech/day dream.

"More then you could possibly imagine! At least, there was. Until the day THEY came..." Negative 4 said spitefully.

"The KND from our world had somehow breached the dimensional gap and dethroned Negative 4 at about the same time I slipped between universes." Jimmy E. resumed. "I found him sitting in a jail cell waiting to be decommissioned. We made a deal, and I helped him escape. We then spent a little while (might have been weeks, might have been months, it's so hard to tell when you're dimension hopping) trying to find a way back to the Negative Universe. They figured out that an extra-dimensional visitor had been the one to free Negative 4, and have set up dimensional barriers to keep us from coming back."

"Much like the one I invented to keep those strange floating creatures away from Earth for Mandy!" Mandark spoke up.

"Precisely. In fact, that's actually what caught are attention. When I noticed my home universe was no longer accessible by the trans-dimensional ship me and -4 had scrapped together, I became curious. Once the barrier fell, we warped back into a derbies field orbiting Earth. Locating a damaged computer bank among the wreckage, we found out everything about Mandy, her plan, and who she had recruited." Jimmy E. then gestured to the room's other occupants. "We decided you eleven would be the best to help us with OUR plan, as well as reap the rewards!"

"And just what is your plan?" Bling Bling Boy spoke up.

"Isn't it obvious?" Jimmy E. spoke up. "We want all of you to help us find a way to break the dimensional barrier, return to the Negative Universe, throw out those goody two shoes traitors, and help us re-build the DNK"

Everyone was quiet for a while, processing this information. Cartman was the first to speak. "Has anyone ever left the Negative Universe around, say, Halloween?" he asked.

Negative 4 thought for a second, then spoke up. "Actually, there was. I don't remember what year it was, but some rich kid named Ynnek Kcimroccm had some trans-dimensional portal built. The portal was destroyed once it was all over, but that was how the DNK became aware of alternate universe's. How did you know that?"

"Then my stupid goodie-goodie counterpart is still out there! I'm in!" Cartman shouted in angry response.

"Is there a version of Fanboy and Chum Chum in your world?" asked Kyle.

"More then likely yes. But since they're the exact opposites of the ones you know and hate, you might even find them agreeable." Negative 4 replied. Kyle began to look unsure. "But as a high ranking member of the DNK, it would be easily within your power to arrange an "accident" to befall them..."

"Alright, I suppose I shall join your little fellowship." the British wizard replied. He was quickly echoed by the other child villains, creating a new team of villainy.

"Any and all resistance to the Destructively Nefarious Legion shall crumble!" declared Jimmy E.

...Transmission interrupted

And so begins my latest tale. I know I said I was going to put this is the Cartoon Crossover section, but that was before I got the idea of the Negative Universe angle, so into the KND section it goes!

The events referenced by Cartman were from the South Park Halloween episode "Spookyfish."

And yes, I am well aware that there aren't nearly enough people here to form a legion. Destructively Nefarious Fire-team just wasn't as catchy...