A Turn of Phrase

by leejeeg

Some phrases I've heard mangled over the years, a drabble, I dunno.

"Like a bat outta hell," Duo smirked. He liked that one.

"A bird in that hand is worth two in the bush. A stitch in time saves nine. Holier than thou. Wake up and smell the coffee. Talk to the hand because the face ain't listening. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Put the shoe of the other foot-hmm, must be a fetish. Knee high to a grasshopper. Monkey on your back. Food for thought. feed a fever, starve a cold. Better off dead. A cold day in hell, heh...."

"Duo? What the hell are you doing?"

"Oh, hey Quat, how are you? Here to see your enigmatic half?"

"Yeah-uh, yes, no-I mean, you know Trowa has loosened up! Anyway, I just asked-what are you doing?"

Duo looked down at his book and grinned. "The other day Dorothy was with us in a meeting and we were placing bets on how long Une was going to drag it out this time when Dorothy said, and I quote, It ain't over 'til the fat man sings."

Quatre frowned, dark blond eyebrows knitting. "That doesn't sound right."

"I know, it isn't, it's fat lady, but ole' forked brows an' I got a wager goin' and I won."

"Ah."

"What was the meeting about?"

Duo rolled his eyes. "Dress code." He was annoyed at being singled out again because his uniforms, while regulation, sported accessories that were not. Duo had grumbled to Heero after the meeting that he had been so certain that Une wouldn't notice the little marijuana stick pin on his jacket lapel. He didn't smoke or anything, he thought the pin was cute. Une did not share this opinion.

"I was watching a news broadcast the other night and the reporter said, like a shot out of hell, meaning that a robbery suspect had eluded capture by hightailing it-ooh, there's another one: hightailing."

"So?"

"The phrase is like a bat out of hell, Quat. So I got to wondering-I've heard so many mangled expressions, what were the correct ones? I bought this book," Duo held up the paperback in his hand so Quatre could read the cover.

"BC expressions and Phrases. Hmm, slow news week, Duo?"

"Ha-that's another one. Stupid is as stupid does. Oh, and another news report of a tornado warning had the little crawl line thingy at the bottom and it said-baton down the hatches. It's batten down the hatches-not baton, for chrissakes."

Quatre rolled his eyes. Duo kept reading. "The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world, if I could walk that way I wouldn't need the talcum powder, throwing the baby out with the bath-ooh, that's sick! A rock and a hard place, mmm, have to save that one for Heero."

Quatre slipped out while Duo was engrossed with his book. Heero came in a few seconds later. "Hello, Koi, what are you doing?"

Duo looked up from the book slowly. "Hmm?"

"I ran into Quatre in the hall. He was shaking his head-what did you do?"

Duo chuckled. "I convinced blondie that there is a book on BC phrases and expressions." He took the fake cover off and showed Heero what his book was really about: Romance Stories for Boys with Long Braided Hair and the Stoic Blue-Eyed Boys Who Love Them.

Heero rolled his eyes. "Now you know he's going to go crazy looking for it-why do you do these things, for your own twisted amusement?"

"To kill two birds with one stone."

Heero laughed in spite of himself.