"Rose, give it up. They aren't going to open that door. You need to go to bed," Adrian said, attempting to grab my arm and pull me away. I shook it off easily, and focused on smashing it into the door as hard as I could. It hurt, but it was nothing compared to the all the hurt building up inside my heart.
"Seriously, Rose. Stop. Take my hand," Adrian said, but with a familiar tone to it.
"Don't use compulsion on me. I have to get in there. I need to know what happens. I need to help them find a culprit and then I have to kill him or her. And I won't be nice about it. They will die slowly and.." I said, but was interrupted when the door opened and smacked into my face. Luckily, Adrian was right behind me and was able to prevent me from falling.
Queen Tatiana stood, hands on her hips, glaring down at me. She sure didn't look happy. I made a move to get through the open space to her right, but she stuck out her arm and blocked me.
"Miss Hathaway, I thought I made it clear that you were not allowed in this room or anywhere near it. Apparently not. If you continue to be a disturbance, I will send some guards after you. Please don't make me do that. Let Adrian take you away from here. If anything major happens, we will let you know," she said, her eyes softening up her glare at me.
"You wouldn't have to tell me if I was in there myself," I said stubbornly.
"You are not mature enough to handle this. Go with Adrian. Please," she said, with a slight hint of pleading in her voice. I went to say something in response, but Adrian grabbed my arm and tugged me away. I decided to remain silent for once. She made it clear that nothing I said was getting me into the meeting. There were several meetings afterwards which I could try to get into.
Once we were halfway down the hall, Adrian moved his grip from my arm down to my hand, and gave it a quick squeeze. I grimaced a bit, but didn't let go. We walked like this all the way to my room in complete silence. It was pretty late, so we didn't see anyone else in the hallways.
"It's okay, you can go. I'm going to bed. I promise I won't go back to the meeting. My fists have had enough for today," I said. Adrian looked a bit worried, and on the verge of saying something, so I silenced him with a quick kiss on the lips. He decided whatever he was going to say before wasn't important, and just simply nodded and was on his way.
Finally. I hadn't been allowed time to myself since the news hit. The news being Dimitri's death, or murder, no one was completely sure. But I was. I was almost positive it was a murder. Dimitri had finally become a dhampir again, after a brief period of time of being a Strigoi. He'd done lots of terrible things. Ones I didn't want to relive, but that wasn't his fault. His soul wasn't right. But Lissa was able to cure him, though it took quite a lot to do so. Including breaking our enemy out of a high security prison, only to have him disappear right under our noses. But that was in the past. People were finally beginning to accept Dimitri. He had had a chance at being a Guardian again, which was what he loved most. He could have paid everyone back for all the horrible things he did. Somebody robbed him of that chance and they were going to pay.
One flaw in my plan, however, was that I had absolutely no idea who to attack. The murder had just happened yesterday and no one had found proof yet. I felt like my heart was cut in half, without Dimitri. It wasn't like before. Before, I knew he was a Strigoi. Still out there somewhere, thinking about me. No matter how evil his thoughts were, they were still his thoughts. Now he was gone. Completely and totally gone. Gone before he realized that his love for hadn't faded at all. It had strengthened. Thinking about that conversation hurt more than anything. I repeated his words in my head over and over. Loves fades and mine has. I should be glad, to a certain extent, that he's gone. I won't have to look at him anymore, watch him ignore me, and worship Lissa. I won't have to look at how gorgeous he is and think of that one night we had sex in his cabin. I could fully commit myself to Adrian, or someone else when the time came. But that wasn't going to happen. I still loved him.
I flung myself onto my un-made bed and screamed into my pillow. What did everything in my life to be so fucked up all the time? Why me? What did I do? Tonight was a good pity night. I would wear my favorite pajamas and cry myself to sleep. I was just sliding on my plaid pajama pants when it hit me.
I flung Lissa's latest spirit ring off my hand, and ran out the door as fast as I could. Everyone was already asleep, or in the meeting, so I had no danger of meeting anyone yet. I reached the gates in a few minutes and was surprised. There were no guards. I had no idea where they were instead of here, but I wasn't about to wait and see. I sprinted through the gates and into the night.
"Dimitri!" I called out. "I know you're out here, please. Dimitri!" I called, and kept going. It had been at least five minutes of screaming and there was nothing. Had I lost my ability to see ghosts? No, that couldn't be it. After all I had done, he was ignoring me.
I found a rock and sat down and cried. I don't know how long I stayed like that. It felt like hours, but in reality it was probably only a few minutes. Then I felt his presence. I looked up and there he was.
Dimitri. In ghost form. He was still handsome as ever. His face surprised me though. When I had seen Mason, and the other ghosts, they had always looked sad. Dimitri looked angry. I stood up at once and moved closer. I waved my arm in front of me, almost not sure it was his ghost. He backed away.
"Dimitri, oh my, I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. You never got your chance to be regular again. And I know you're mad and you don't love me anymore, but please. You have to tell me who killed you. I have to kill them too. I need to. If I can't find a way to save you, I have to kill him like he killed you," I blurted out.
Dimitri didn't move. His face stayed exactly the same, like he hadn't heard me at all. He had heard me, I knew it. Otherwise he wouldn't be here. But he said nothing.
"Please, talk to me," I pleaded with my words and my eyes.
"No," he said. The word had been spoken very quietly, almost full of pain, but I knew that he meant for it to be with force.
"Come on, you have to tell me. You know I'll do it. I'd do anything for you. I made you a dhampir, whether you want to give me for credit or not, I did. But now you're gone and it hurts. It hurts so much. It shouldn't hurt. You hurt me before it all happened. You said you didn't love me, so I shouldn't care that you're dead. But I do. The only thing I can do to ease the pain is kill whoever did this to you. I need your help, please," I said again, begging myself not to cry.
Dimitri simply shook his head and began walking away. I ran after him, "Wait!" I called. "I just gave you two huge rambles and all I got was a no and a head shake. You can't tell me you don't revenge. You were going to be a Guardian again, and they took that away from them. Make them pay."
"You don't understand," Dimitri said, still weakly but I heard it. I went to speak but he shook his hand and motioned for me to follow.
I followed willingly. Was he taking me to the killer? No, surely not. Either way, I didn't care. I would follow Dimitri anywhere.
Or not. I hadn't realized we were heading back the way I came. We were in front of the school now. I pouted. I thought I saw the slightest hint of a smile on his face, but I couldn't be sure.
"Go," he said, pointing back towards the gate, and the time on the door. It was late.
"I'm coming back later," I said, realizing my defeat, and walked back into the gates. The guards were still not there. Huh. How strange. A good strange though. I ran quickly back to my room, not wanting to be caught if they were coming back.
Only to find Lissa sitting on my bed.
I sighed and sat on the bed next to her. She didn't say anything for a few moments. Just sat there and stared at the ground, then finally up at me.
"You told Adrian you wouldn't go back," she said, her voice was meant to be full of anger, but it was really full of worry. Lissa worried so much about me. There was no way I could tell her what I really did. I mean, I hadn't really done anything. Dimitri didn't tell me anything. Still, she wouldn't want me to see him at all. Or try and find his killer.
"Sorry," I said, trying to give her a slight mischievous smile.
"Don't give me that smile. You're going to get in trouble, Rose!" Lissa scolded.
"It'll be worth it if I can get into that meeting. I can help them. Why can't they understand that?" I said, getting more and more enraged.
"Yes, you can. But not right now. You heard Tatiana. You're too emotionally unstable at the moment. You aren't thinking straight. When you are, you can go in, if they haven't solved it yet," Lissa said. She picked up a brush of my end table and began to slowly untangle the mess that was my hair. Lissa always knew how to calm me down.
"Alright, alright. Though I don't know why you all think I'm so damn emotional. He told me his love for me faded. Why should I be depressed about him dying?" I said, holding back tears.
"Rose, don't go there. You and I both know he didn't mean that, and that you still loved him," Lissa said, wanting to say more, but was cut off by me.
"Love. I love him," I corrected.
"Rose," she began.
"Don't tell me who I can or can't love. I'm going to do whatever it takes to avenge him," I said firmly, tossing my hair over my shoulder for added effect.
"He's gone and you know it. I'm sorry, so so sorry, but what does killing someone else do? It doesn't change the fact that he's gone. You can't go into the spirit world and save him. Nobody ever leaves the spirit world to come back to the real world. Nobody. I know you didn't say you were going to try, but I just wanted to get rid of that idea before you thought of it yourself. Are we clear?" She said, narrowing her eyes at me, and putting down the brush back on the end table.
"Didn't Adrian tell you?" Lissa said, puzzled.
"No…what are you talking about?" I said, immediately intrigued. I scooted closer to her in anticipation, making sure I could hear and remember every word that came out of her mouth.
"Adrian found it. He meant to get into one of your dreams but you weren't asleep yet, but he was concentrating so hard. He thought you were mad at him, and this was the only way to speak to you. Only he didn't realize you were awake. But it didn't shut him out; it brought him to the Spirit World. He didn't stay long, only enough to gain some important information. The spirits were scaring him, he said. He was on his way out, when a spirit tried to touch him. He begged Adrian to take him back, but then a tall, guard-like spirit dragged him away, convinced he was crazy. I guess he didn't notice Adrian. That's where the spirits live, Rose. The ones that are waiting for their forty days to be up or the ones who never found peace. Unless you summon them, then they enter the real world for a bit," Lissa said.
I gasped in shock. "Are you serious? How come you didn't tell me before? I need to go find Dimitri. I need to take him back!" I said happily, jumping up in down on the bed in excitement.
Lissa frowned. "Did you listen to anything I just said? You can't. Only Adrian knows how to get in there. And even if you did somehow get there, Dimitri wouldn't be able to leave even if he wanted to. They have guards everywhere and probably a bunch of other security things that prevent them from leaving. It's impossible. You need to focus on moving on and being a Guardian, not on saving Dimitri. Again."
"I have to. I love him too much to let him go. I'm Rose Hathaway, Lissa. I can do the impossible,"
Author's Note: I'm so incredibly rusty with my writing, but I've been addicted to this series and couldn't help but want to write a story about it. I'll hopefully be updating later today as it is Sunday and I have no life. Please let me know what you think!