Summary: In a school where no sense makes perfect sense, left is right, up is down- or maybe I am just starting to think like Mr. Jones? Oh bollocks... A blog written in England's PoV, our version of Gakuen Hetalia.

Suffer through this chapter of boring, I'm counting on you, soldier.

The AXIS Blog

The Brains and Brawn of a Brilliant British Bloke

Blog 1

Week 1; Day 0

All right, how do you work this blasted contraption? Oh, and Mr. Jones, if that alliteration-filled eyesore of a sentence is supposed to be the title of this delightful- what did you call it? bog? smog? log?- thing then I am guessing this is an unofficial record of information, and that it is safe to assume this will be posted nowhere except this spider web sight. ..Additionally, though I loathe to admit, I do commend you on the word choice in the title, it is quite flattering- even though I am well aware that you are lying through your teeth, or keyboard, as it is.

As you should know, Mr. Jones, (though you were absent to the meeting yesterday... why, exactly?) school re-opens its wonderful doors tomorrow to the eager students wishing to learn and prepare themselves for college. Although this may sound typical to every other person reading this blog, well, they do not know our school.

For those of you who don't regular at AXIS, we are not what you call a run-of-the-mill school. Sure, we have some semblance of normalcy, however most of the time we are just here to teach, be taught, have fun, and live in the moment- no matter what. Though I should not really use these reasons as an excuse for all of the odd relationships blooming within the corridors of our dormitories- you see, this is an all boys' school.

Now... Mr. Jones told me I am supposed to talk about myself in this... thing but I think it would be much more amusing for both you and I if I was to write about the goings-on in this insane excuse for a school instead- plus I do not like telling people about myself, much less strangers. However, please do not think that this is gossip- I plan on asking each student's permission when I wish to include them in of these things because it is not a dream of mine to hurt people's feelings unconsciously.

This is a school where no sense makes perfect sense, up is down, left is right- or maybe I am just starting to think like Mr. Jones? Oh bollocks... In any case, this school is strange in every sense of the word, and I want to write all these memories down for my future self to reflect on when I go senile (even if Mr. Jones has already convinced himself I that I already am growing senile) and I am alone with my stacks of read and re-read books with nothing better to do then to reminisce fondly about the 'good old days.'

Students- if you happen by this blog, I don't know what you do on the spider web, do your best this year and remember that school starts tomorrow and Back to School night is next Thursday. Enjoy your last day of summer.


Alfred F. Jones said:

HEy! You actually got it to work! Awsom3!
But u know that it's called the internet, rite. Nobody calls it the WEB anymore! And you got it confuzed with a spider! LOL
btw, LOL means laugh out loud. it's what you say when some1 says something you laugh at. You should learn some chatsp33k, fyi.
Also, y r u making your blog about SCHOOL? that's so boring! make it about urself or ur cat! people on the internet love cats! We call them LOLCATs here
alsoa, don't click on any suspicious links people send u. they might be bugs (not spiders) or really gross things! SERIOUSLY DON'T DO IT
Make ur blog more interesting next time! kthnxbai 8)

Arthur Kirkland said:

...May I politely request that you speak using the English language? I hardly understood a word of what you just typed, Mr. Jones, and it is horribly unfitting for a teacher to be utiling such a horrendous form of English.

I hope I did this bloody comment thing correctly... the spider web is so confusing.

Arthur Kirkland said:

My apologies, I had a spelling error in the previous comment. Utilizing was the correct word, I implore you to kindly overlook the brief slip-up.

Wang Yao said:


Gilbert said if I don't send this around it will happen, aru! He said it happened before with another one! Help aru! ;-;

Arthur Kirkland said:

...I believe that albino barbarian lied to you, Mr. Yao, calm down.

Alfred F. Jones said:

u know thats fake, right?
gilbert's an ass, he says things like that all time. he told me that there was a petition to close down all mcdonalds of the world if i didn't send a letter to every1 on my friend's list, but IT WAS A LIE

at british

srry for the late reply, i got like OVER NINE THOUSAND!one111! friend requests on facebook and it takes a long tiem to go thru dem all
LOLWTF u spelled utilizing wrong!
NOW who is the one who cant use english? IT IS YOU! LOLOMGWTF
an didn't i say its not SPIDER WEB, just internet
put your glasses on gramps!

Arthur Kirkland said:

I honestly doubt that over nine thousand people like you enough to request to be your friend on this book of face... in fact, I doubt nine people like you enough.

I do believe I corrected my own error, Mr. Jones, and I know for a fact that 'lolomgwtf' is not a word in the English language.

I apologize for not being able to read your first comment without my eyes bleeding and my hope for humanity dwindling even more. ...Thank you, though, for clarifying- somehow, spider web didn't sound quite right to me.

I'll have you know my eyesight is perfect!

Doesn't the F. stand for Frederick?

Peter Kirkland said:

I'm so excited for my first year of high school! I can't wait to see what it's going to be like!
I hope Raivis is in all of my classes! And I hope they have yummy food in the cafeteria!
Do you think they have dessert, too? I really hope so! Chocolate cake!
I know I'm going to love all my classes (except yours) and I'll probably make more friends my age that wont ignore me like (you) all the adults do!
My Freshman year of high school will just be ever so wonderful!

Regards, Peter

Alfred F. Jones said:

u still spelled it wrong, so it still counts!
omg is short for oh my god. Those are English words! an wtf is for what the f*ck, and those are english words, too!
i know my own language THANK YOU mr british tea pants
no it stands for FREEDOM. who told you that? thats just stupid. frederick is stupid.
are u sure ur not mistaking my name for gilberts old man crush, cuz that's gross u perv
U should also get a facebook so i can poke you and u can help me with my farmville and msuic pets! :D
It's really fun!

Arthur Kirkland said:

Do not even get me started on all of the spelling errors you have made in the few comments you have posted- you are lucky though, I neither have the time nor the patience to point them all out to you (even though they should be painfully obvious).

Oh, right, the atrocious acronyms that all the kids nowadays use because they are too lazy to type out the actual word. My apologies, my senility seems to be acting up, I completely forgot that our population is becoming more and more idiotic as time progresses (by the way, that 'wtf' acronym is highly inappropriate, Mr. Jones).

...They're knickers, not pants.

Don't even bring up Gilbert's affection for that man, it still disturbs me.

Finally- no. Just no.

Wang Yao said:

Alfred and Arthur;
A-are you sure? Shinatty won't really burn, aru? ;-; Why would he lie like that aru!

Gilbert Beilschmidt said:


Also was a joke Yao. Seriously. No need to get so upset over it.

Arthur Kirkland said:

Wait a bloody minute... how did all of these people get this website address?

Alfred F. Jones said:

OH! didnt i tell you!
i totally posted the link to ur blog on all my accounts!
my facebook, mylivejournal, my myspace, twitter, tumblr, and uh, some more but I cant remember them right now
I even set it as my status message on all three of my messangers!LOL
every1 in skool (i spell it skool now to be cool) knows about ur boring blog! yeah!

Arthur Kirkland said:

...All right, but the next time you lock your keys in the car, or get your fingers stuck in one of those Chinese finger traps (although that was very amusing, Mr. Yao), or when you get your hand stuck in a coffee pot again, or if you start up your marker-sniffing habit again- I will remember this, and I will inform Mr. Braginski about whatever unfortunate predicament has befallen you and hopefully he will make it worse.

No, he will definitely make it worse.

Good night, Mr. Jones, see you in school tomorrow- and sweet dreams.


HELLO, Rant-Rant here with a few special notes to end our first chapter! Yes, our. I'm doing a collab with two friends of mine! Joey and Naomi! Woo!

Alright, so any dialogue by Arthur is me (including the blog itself), Naomi did Yao and Gilbert, Joey did Alfred and Peter.

HOPEFULLY all of Alfred's L33T speak transferred correctly, since I don't feel like going back to fix it.

We already have a second chapter written, I'll post it on Tuesday. Why Tuesday? Because I can.

Uh, I actually did spell 'utilizing' wrong in the e-mail. We all had a good laugh at that. And I was the one who came up with China's chain e-mail thing, she came up with the idea that the old man would fall for it though.

I think it's funny how everyone ignored Peter. Actually... It's kind of ironic.

Rant-Rant OUT!



(Rant says: SEPPUKU NOW.)