Author's Notes: Written for this prompt on the glee_angst_meme: "Tina sadness over getting ignored by Artie in the summer."
A. Goddamn. Videogame.
Tina doesn't have the words.
When he first said it, she was actually enough of a loser to initially think it was some kind of religious group thing – halos, angels, God, yada yada. She would have understood that. Respected that. Then she remembered not only was Artie atheist, so was the rest of his family, so that couldn't be it. Then she remembered about the game, which made entirely more sense given who he was.
She collapses onto her bed, breathing shakily into her pillow. She thinks she might cry, even though she's pretty sure this isn't worth it – hey, she cried over the whole mess with Bryan Ryan when she thought she was overreacting, and no-one made fun of her for it. So she thinks it might be okay to be that upset over her boyfriend issues.
It's not that she has a problem with him playing videogames and the like; that's just Artie. A lot of girls wouldn't look twice at him for being a 'nerd', but she doesn't mind. She's always found it endearing, actually – besides, he doesn't pass judgment on her own nerdish activities. That's not her whole issue with this.
She's his girlfriend. It's a videogame. She should trump it, surely?
She just doesn't understand – everything's been great for her and Artie for so long; they've long since dealt with their instances of angst, like what he said about her clothes or Stuttergate 2009. But all summer, he's seemed to be doing anything and everything to avoid her. Is she just that awful? That the only time he'd want to be with her was when there were people around, so he could prove a point, and when they aren't... what is the point of her?
A tear slips out her eye.
She knows she's overreacting. She's jumping to conclusions. It's probably nothing like that; it's probably just Artie not thinking for a second. But dammit, she does not care – he should think. He should go out of his way to make sure he doesn't hurt her, because that's what a good boyfriend would do.
But, when she thinks about it, he never has done that – he says something awful a lot, like all that stuff about how she should dress better, or even how he lashed out at her after he tried moving with those crutches. Sure, he always apologizes, but maybe she's just sick of having to forgive him.
Could it be that he hasn't forgiven her? After that whole incident with her fake stutter, she half-expected him to just think of her as a horrible person swimming in her able-bodied privilege forever. After realizing how badly she offended him with that, she thought of herself like that for a long time.
But he said he forgave her, and learned to understand that, while she was being ignorant, she didn't mean any harm. She just didn't know what it was like. If he lied to her about that, fuck him. If he had just refused to take her back, she would have understood and respected his choice – along with hating herself for screwing things up so badly. But if he's lied to her about it, it means he doesn't love her anymore. And if he doesn't love her, he's using her. And she is not going to feel like the bad guy in that situation.
It's probably not true. But she can't just say it's not true; that there's not a chance, and that's wrong.
She grabs her pillow and holds it to her chest, burying her sobs in the pink cover. She can't do this, and she can't just be here this summer, knowing she could be with him but he has something – anything, apparently – better to do.
To hell with it. It doesn't matter that she doesn't really like kids, or that she finds the idea of an 'Asian Camp' (as this thing effectively is) somewhat racist. She'll go be a counselor at the camp like her parents asked her to.