What to Do When Your Cousins Turn Your Boyfriend Into A Newt

Well – hi. I am so so sorry for the hiatus. I've had exams, and my life pretty much went to hell for a couple of months, and I had writers block. I'd like to say that this is me coming back, and I will try 100% my hardest to get writing again. But for now, I own nothing.

Well... Don't laugh.

He wasn't very happy.

Sorry Scorp. Blink blink, halo, halo.

I guess I'll start from the beginning.

"Hola senorita," Kay said, coming up to me as we left potions for lunch.
"I'm half French, not Spanish," I reminded her.
"I knew that," she grinned. "Oh – hey Louis."
"What are you doing?" I asked. He grabbed my hands.
"Dom, come quick, they turned him into some sort of reptile and Rose fainted, and we're all gonna DIE."
"Er –" I said, brilliantly.
"Who turned who into a reptile? And why are we gonna die?"
"James and Fred turned Scorpius – just come on!"
"They turned my boyfriend into a reptile?" I demanded, following him up the steps two at a time. "Well yeah, someone's gonna die!"
"Where are we going?" Kay gasped, running behind us. Louis and I are very good at running. It comes from being in a family with a jillion kids who like to tie you up and feed you to the crocodiles.

Fred and James were huddled by the statue of the one eyed witch, with Fred's hands cupped over something with a long green tail.
"What did you do?" I yelled. They jumped, and Fred let go of the reptile. It landed on Rose, who was beginning to stir.
"What happened – AAAAAAGH!" She hit the ground again. Kay looked worried, bless. No one's used to Rose yet.
"Sorry Dom! We didn't mean to hit him! I swear on Fred's life!"
"Oi!" Fred smacked James up the head.
"What was that for?"
"Don't swear on my life, mister, or I'll do much worse!"
"When you two are quite finished," I said, icily. "Guys! I thought you were over the whole I'm-dating thing."
"We are over that. We're just getting our heads around the fact it's a Slytherin."
"So? He's funny, kind, smart –"
"Gross," James interrupted. "Look, we're sorry, please stop talking."
"You disgust me," I informed him. He had the decency to look abashed.
"But it is kinda funny, right?" Fred said, hopefully.

I narrowed my eyes at them, and then down at the little newt crouched on Rose's forehead.

Then I laughed.

I know, I know. I'm a horrible girlfriend.

But you have to understand that all his clothes had been shrunk with him.

He was like a little stuffed newt. Except he wasn't stuffed. Yeah...

"Turn him back," I ordered, still smirking.
"On a scale of one to ten, how angry would you be if I said that we didn't know how to?" James asked, curiously.
"Twenty," I said, primly. Louis and I exchanged an exasperated look as they took a step back.
"I'll go find a teacher?" Kay suggested.
"NO!" Fred bellowed. We jumped.
"If we get another detention this term, they're gonna owl Mum." James said. He looked at me with puppy-dog eyes. "Please don't make me go through another summer of no-fun, Dommy."
"What do we do then?" I asked, flicking him just in case he thought I was a push over.

Which I am.

But he doesn't have to think that.

"Well, it was a hex from McGonagall's class –" Fred said, thoughtfully.
"Is that Scorpius Malfoy?" came a voice from behind me. We all turned around, half expecting to see a teacher, but instead we saw a girl with curly red hair who wasn't related to us.


"Er... Who's asking?"
"A friend," the girl snapped.
"How did you know it was him?" Fred asked, awed.
"Fred! Don't tell her!"
"Well he's got a little blonde wig... And the only other person with hair that blonde is right here." The girl threw a look at Louis, who looked slightly self conscious.

Oh Merlin.

The newt has a wig.


Okay, I'm done.

No, it's still funny.


"Would you by any chance know the counter curse?" I asked. She paused.
"Well. It's either the counter curse or a spell to turn your skin purple..." She waved her wand before we could ask her why she knew a spell to turn skin purple. There was a puff of smoke and a flash of light and a chorus of heavenly voices – okay, I made that bit up – and then Scorpius was stood in front of us, with his skin a little bit lilac.
"It'll wear off soon," the girl chirped. "See you in DADA Scorp." And then she was off, humming the Muggle song Copacabana.
"Well that was... Weird..." Fred said. James merely blinked.
"Was that the random Hufflepuff?" Kay asked.
"I don't... Think so..." I said. But then, I hadn't seen my random 'Puff since the end of last month. People can change.

We all turned back to Scorpius, who was breathing heavily. I half expected him to throw back his head and roar a battle cry, but he kinda skipped that bit out, instead charging at my dorky cousins.

Who fled down the corridor screaming for mercy.

Ah boys.

Will they ever learn?

Yeah... Reviews are really appreciated if anyone's still reading this. I'm sorry for the wait, again.