A/N: Hello! This little scenario has been burning in my head since I finished 'Clockwork Angel' and I noticed that there weren't very many fanfics yet so I thought I would put mine up. I hope you guys enjoy it and please let me know what you think of it!
Tessa could not catch her breath.
She had been looking out the window all morning. People watching.
But every time a person would face her direction, the air in her lungs would stop. Everyone looked like the clockwork corpses.
A man standing at the corner of the streets clutching a severed arm waved at her manically.
She clutched the little clockwork angel around her neck tightly and shut her eyes counting down from five then opened them again to find the man she thought was a clockwork monster was in fact just a harmless street vendor, holding out the a bundle of daisies. She finally was able to let go of the breath she did not even know she was holding and inhaled a deep breath and slumped into the armchair beneath her.
These waking nightmares were becoming too much. Months had passed and still she was not recovered.
She could hardly leave the house without going into fits of panic.
Company was out of the question, although who would actually visit her?
Jessamine? Charlotte? They had their own troubles.
Besides, there was only one person she wanted to speak to.
The name alone brought on such strong feelings of anger and sadness all intertwined, that she didn't know whether to cry or to beat her fist into the paneling. He kept to himself mostly. She saw him in passing and at meals on occasion.
They had a silent agreement on visitation with Jem.
A couple hours in the afternoons belonged to her, and the evenings were Will's.
The day in the attic with Will, played in her mind over and over again.
She felt sickened with herself every time.
Not for anything she had done, but the thoughts she entertained.
When will suggested that she, for all intensive purposes, be his whore…we'll the idea didn't anger her as much as it should have, she thought disgustedly.
She knew deep in her heart that if Will were to come to her room right now and kiss her, she would kiss him back.
Just the thought of his lips on her brought involuntary shiver to her skin.
She would let him do what he wanted to her.
She wanted it too.
Not the kind of thoughts a proper young lady should have.
He eased her pain.
Made her forget about Will if only for a hour or two.
It was enough.
Everyday she anticipated the scarce time she was allowed to spend with Jem.
He kept her sane.
Kept her human.
Will made her feel like an animal, a creature unworthy of even a glance or a word in greeting.
A lowly downworlder. She caught the slight wrinkle in his brow whenever they had to pass each other. Like he found her quite disgusting.
Yes, but apparently she is not too appalling to be his mistress as he offered her, Tessa thought to herself bitterly.
She tried to keep the anger.
Tried her hardest to hold onto, cling to a shred of her humanity.
Even if it was such a base emotion as anger.
But alas, it always slipped away.
Here in her room she ached.
All day she yearned for something.
Something she couldn't name, couldn't quite place, something out of reach.
Or was it?
In the past few months she had grown closer to Jem, but thoughts of Will always occupied her mind.
Lofty thoughts such as a courtship between them or a romance were too farfetched, even in her dreams.
The most she could imagine was a tryst.
A scandalous affair.
To be used.
Her only option to be near Will.
Let him use her any way he wished.
She hated herself for even imaging this but she was so desperately lonely.
Yesterday had been what she called a good day.
No imaginary monsters.
During her time with Jem she felt calm.
It probably had something to do with the large amounts of brandy she let Jem slip into her tea.
Usually Tessa and Jem would finish their laced tea then relax on his large bed.
Spending enough time with Jem, Tessa lost the reservations she had about being inappropriate around a man.
How could she care about such things now that she wasn't really even human?
So after they collapsed on the bed, side by side, a story was usual in order.
They took turns each day.
They would make up outlandish tales and describe them to the other until they went into fits of laughter.
Yesterday had been Jem's turn. He spun a tale about a boy who had to hide the fact that every time he saw an attractive girl, he would sprout a large bushy tail.
By the end of the story and a few rude innuendo's, Tessa was giggling uncontrollably.
"Shh!" Jem laughed as he tried halfheartedly to quite her laughter.
"Your draw the whole house in here!" He joked smiling broadly.
"Don't you want to share your tale with everyone?" Tessa asked giggling still.
"No. just you Tessa." Jem said touching Tessa's chin softly.
"What about Will?" Tessa asks skeptically.
"Will tells the stories when he's around. Just you Tessa. You're the only one who hears my tales." Jem whispered the last part.
Slowly Jem leaned in, giving Tessa enough time to back away should she want to, and kissed her.
Tessa remained motionless for a moment then moved her lips to match his.
His skin was cool and his kiss tasted of brandy and mint.
When Will kissed her she burned, she ached for him, hot and uncontrolled.
With Jem it was patient and steady, but the ache was there too.
A hunger, same as with Will.
Tessa pressed herself to Jem and his arm found its way around her and rested on the small of her back where he gently but firmly held her against him.
Her breath was coming in short gasps but she wanted more.
One of her hands caressed the side of his face, while the other combed through the silken locks of his hair.
Her leg had become tangled with his and her heart was beating loudly. How long they lay there kissing, Tessa did not know.
Only when the door opened did they finally break away from each other.
They must have been kissing a while and overlapped into Will's time with Jem because Will now stood staring blank faced at the scene before him.
Thanks for reading, please review and let me know what you think okay? Thanks.