A/N: This chapter contains somethings like rape and drug use but is not describe in detail. You have been warned. Reviews are always welcomed and by welcomed I mean please review!
Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime;
Therefore, we must be saved by hope.
Nothing which is true, or beautiful, or good, makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we must be saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, could be accomplished alone;
Therefore, we must be saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as it is from our own standpoint;
Therefore, we must be saved by the final form of love, which is forgiveness.
I remember a time when I looked forward to a new day but now as I look out across the water which shimmers with the glow of the rising sun I feel dread, remorse, but mostly fear for what today may bring. I don't know what caused me to loose control of myself. I was sitting in the common's room just enjoying the company of my friends when I felt an immense amount of rage overcome me. I didn't have any reason to be angry but yet I was. I remember punching the wall in the common's room in an unjustified fit of frustration and storming down the corridor to my room. I hit the wall again for no apparent reason. I heard Raven enter my room her face was filled with fear and confusion just as when she told me that Slade was playing with her mind. I wanted to run and hug Raven but my body didn't move as I instructed. That's when I heard a horrifying whisper that was not mine escape my mouth. The voice taunted menacingly, "He's back." and after that statement I lost all power over my body and I was gone. When I returned to my body Cyborg held me in the air and he was yelling at me while Raven laid crying on the ground...broken.
The sun is shining brightly though my window yet I feel like I'm drowning in darkness. I stood up carefully from the bed. My room was demolished. As I made my way to my closet I noticed a crumbled sheet of paper lying on the floor. I didn't need to open it to know what it was...it was lies all lies.
I love you and I know I'll never be able to understand everything about you but I'll always try understand.
But I do know you enough to know that you don't need this to make you happy that's why I'm here.
I'm always here.
Where ever, when ever, you need me.
and that is a promise I intend to keep no matter what happens.
I hope that you know that I only want you be happy and you can be happy without these because after all
I love you.
I haven't told anyone. Just as you asked.
Lies. That wasn't my Robin last night. My Robin would never hurt me like that. I took the paper and placed it inside the trash can then changed out of my pajamas and put on my uniform. I pulled out my navy blue book bag that was already pre-packed with the necessities for my trip. I looked around my room and decided against cleaning it. I silently slipped out of my room and told the team whom were eating breakfast that I was going. They of course asked where I was heading off to at 5 pm but I assured them that I was just going to the park for some fresh air. I felt a twinge of guilt as left the Tower because in all actuality I wasn't planning to go anywhere near Jump City Municipal Park or let alone Jump City in general. Gotham City was my destination and getting my "fix" was objective.
Before I teleported to Gotham I quietly went into a nearby gas station bathroom and changed into my civilian clothes which were a pair of black skinny jeans, a black tank top under a black hoodie, and a pair of black converse. All black. It draws less attention because the last thing I need is The Dark Knight himself to firstly notice me in his territory and secondly notice what I'm doing in his territory.
Some things are constant no matter how much you try to change them...that was of the many things Gotham and I had in common. I could feel the pulse of the darker side of Gotham come to life as I walked further and further into the dark alley. I stopped and instinctively sank into a defensive stance when I sensed some one watching me which caused me to receive a few 'what the hell' looks from a few of the people in the alley others were so out of they didn't care about anything anymore and that's were I wanted to be.
"Well, well, well it's Miss Goodie-Two-Shoes herself."
I crossed my arms as Red X walked closer to me he was grinning at me in way that made my skin crawl.
"So what brings you here? Are you here to spy on us or do you want a score?"
I didn't like and never like Red X but business comes before personal preferences. I kept my face deadly serious as I asked coyly.
"What makes you think that?"
He simply smirked as he said.
"It's been a while since you've been around. Something wrong with the birdies?"
I stiffened slightly as his face grew only inches away from mine but tried to keep my composer.
"Can you just-"
"Why in such a rush? Besides I need my payment before."
Raven's eyes widened as Red X wrapped his arms around her waist and gently pulled her closer to him. Raven tried to scream as his hands began to pull up her hoodie but his lips silenced her as they crushed her's.
When I finally returned from the roof he entered the Common's Room and saw each Titan preoccupied with something. Starfire was on her pink laptop searching looking at an online store catalog,while Beast Boy was a cat napping on Starfire's lap, Cyborg was chatting on the phone with Bumble Bee from the Titans East and Raven was...wait where was Raven?
I went to Raven's room and knocked quietly but she didn't answer. I knocked again slightly louder but again I didn't receive an answer. I pressed the code on the panel and the door slid open.
Her room was in complete disarray. As I walked further into her room I noticed a piece of crumpled paper in her waste basket. I impulsively reached in and uncrumpled the ball of paper revealing my note. While reading the paper a terrible realization dawned on me. I quickly exited Raven's room and into the Common's room. I asked desperately.
Cyborg looked at me and laughed as he said.
"Relax man she just went to the park."
The color from my face drained immediately. Raven hated the park.
"Oh. Okay I'm going to meet her."
I walked out of the Common's Room coolly to not raise suspicion from my team but as soon I was out of view I broke into a run down the hallway to my room. I quickly changed into a pair of dark wash jeans and a black t-shirt then ran down to the garage and hopped on to my black motorcycle that I used when I was a civilian and headed to the only place Raven could be.
Red X dropped a bottle of pills next to Raven, whom laid on the bed of a cheap motel room, and left with a snake like smile on his mask less face.. The room was a disaster area. Shards of mirror were shewn across the room, a chair a turned upside down, and Raven's clothes were scattered across the floor.
Raven shakily grabbed the bottle and dumped it's contents in her palm which was shaking violently due to her crying. She dropped at least three into her mouth and a smile crept on to her face. She jumped when she heard the door to the room fall with a thud. Raven instinctively pulled the sheets around her.
Robin froze when he saw Raven. Her face was bruised, her hair was a mess, her eyes where surrounded with dark circles, and she was naked. Robin carefully approached her and asked.
"Are you okay?"
Raven rolled her eyes as she stood up with the sheet around her she responded her voice filled with sarcasm.
"What do you think Robin? Look at me. Do I look okay?"
A look of fury crossed his face.
"Raven...what the hell is wrong with you?"
She simply laughed as she said outraged.
"Do you want a list? My boyfriend hit me, killed our baby, I have an addiction, oh and I was just beaten and raped."
"What do you think that go around naked for pleasure. I wish you weren't so damn oblivious!"
Robin took a deep breath and said to her quietly.
"Raven...I don't want to fight with you."
Her voice lowered as well as she said.
"I don't either."
"So why do we always end up this way?"
"I don't know."
She said her voice breaking. Robin pulled her into his arms and Raven buried her face in his warm embrace hoping that this was the end of this. That maybe she and Robin could be happy.