26 Things You Didn't Know About Apollo

He's the father of Justin Bieber

He's tried to kill of the Jonas Brothers three times, but keeps getting stopped by Zeus

He's secretly jealous of Johnny Depp

He set his daughter, Kayla's, boyfriend on fire 5 times

The most awkward conversation of his immortal life was when his son, Alex Robins, came to him for advice when he was fifteen

Alex came to him to confess to his dad he was gay, and in love with Hyacinth's descendant, Hector 1

He watches Grey's Anatomy every Thursday, and cries every time Meredith and Derek break up

He came up with the "that's what she said!" jokes

He also came up with the "your mama" jokes

He uses them against Ares a lot, and then get's chased around by Hera

He keeps a machete under his pillow because of Hera

He's in denial that Artemis is older than him

The Gods have done 13 interventions about his haiku-obsession

He dressed up as a pimp for Halloween last year, and Artemis pushed him off a cliff for it

He cried when Edward left Bella

He was dumped by Britney Spears back in the day

In the 50's, was mauled by a tiger in Monte Carlo

He invented Barbie, something that Artemis never let him live down

In 1915, his girlfriend's father chased him off with a katana

He loves Transformers because he thinks robots are crazy badass

He woke up one day and could speak japanese for no apparent reason

He accidentally crashed Air Force 1 in 1969, long story short- he can't enter military territory: 2

He was arrested for punching his daughter's, Chyler's, fiancee, David: 3

His daughter's fiancee David happened to be a cop

Dionysus turned him into a squirrel last Thursday

He loves explosions in movies

He swears he's the father of JK Rowling

He was fooling around with a nymph in his chariot June 14th, 1914, he accidentally took out Archduke Francis Ferdinand, causing World War 1: 4

After he saw family guy the first time, he said, "giggidy" every other word for 2 months, until Ares finally beat him up

He dropped two of his sons on their heads as babies: 5


1: Not homophobic. But Apollo had a male lover named Hyacinth who died and Apollo was forever heartbroken, and Alex is everything his father is in every way. And Alex's sister, Addy, is everything Artemis is. So it'd make sense for Alex to be severely sexually confused. Yes, I will be doing a one-shot of this soon.

2: Don't ask what he did...I'd get shot if I told you (damn you, government!)

3: He got her pregnant before they were married...haha- not a wise life choice, my man!

4: this is my theory. hahaha. not that i think WWI was funny at all- my great-granddad anthony got shot twice in that thing! (and he also said he got herpes from a french girl, but lets not go down what he got from which European chick...oh great now im pondering this dammit)

5: MICHAEL YEW! It's why he was so short. But he also dropped Justin Bieber, causing his voice to rise about 4 octaves higher than a male's (maybe) should be.