A/N: This is my first ever fanfic, so please be nice. I will gladly take advice and corrections and new ideas to develop this story. I do plan on extending this story further, I am currently in the middle of a Finn chapter, and I guess I'll go from there. But it depends how the actual Glee stories on the show develop, if Kinn gets completely thrown out the window by Ryan and everything is Kurt/Sam or this new Blaire guy then I'll rethink my story. I'm a strong Kinn shipper, so I might just carry on.
Also, sadly, regrettably and annoyingly I do not own Glee, the characters or their story lines, but oh, how I wish I did.
I hated that taste. The taste of failure and giving up; it was slightly metallic and lingered in my mouth after I swallowed. And that smell, oh, that smell. Strong coffee, banana and some left over mushroom pasta from two days ago. Yes, yes I was yet again in the dumpster, third time this week to be precise. I had somehow bitten my lip as I fell, the blood leaked out of my mouth as I gathered my stuff from the rubbish topped surface of the dumpster. Some books had managed to slide out of my satchel. I saw my Spanish book and sighed.
Spanish was one of my favourite lessons, it was a drag, but I got to sit next to Finn Hudson. A smile crept across my face as I sat in the dumpster and elaborated on the thought of him a bit more. It wasn't like I was interested in Spanish itself, oh hell no, I was pretty much just interested in Finn. He had recently moved away from Quinn for obvious reasons (the whole baby drama and Puck still got to him) and chose to sit next to me. To me. He chose to sit next to me, actually when I think back he didn't even hesitate. We actually worked well together, despite my need to be unconditionally loved by him forever. My romantic motives aside, I never seemed to appear as someone who was longing for him. Well, I think. We really trusted each other; sometimes he'd be explaining something that happened with his mom which was really quite private or venting about how he was getting annoyed by Rachel; which I obviously couldn't agree more with. Anyway, my hatred for Rachel put out of the way, when he would be telling me these things I always wondered how we got there. A few months ago, I was being thrown into this very dumpster by him now he's expressing things his diary or pillow doesn't even know. We surprising got on really well, considering we're two completely different people. Granted there were a few odd and awkward moments when he's catch me staring at him in a dream or if we touched for too long. Finn would never pull away, we just sat there awkwardly touching and end up smiling at each other with a look that could only be described as "this is really gay, but I don't really give a fuck".
I accidently swallowed the blood again, gagging on it and thinking about if this got onto my new jacket I would possible start some kind of fashion war. Admittedly, it would take a while to get this banana smudge out of my shirt but my jacket was hanging on. Surviving. My bag however was covered in coffee. Perishing. I rolled my eyes, hugged my Spanish book tightly and sighed while packing it all away. To say I felt fine was a lie; I was on the verge on tearing up. The thought of Finn never loving me and being in this metal cage of emptiness and unloved objects, of which I felt a part of, was to over whelming.
I jumped in my skin a little when I heard a metallic thud to the said of me, outside the dumpster. Admittedly I was too scared to look up, so I acted like I was finding something in the dumpster, problem was there were too many things to pick from.
"Kurt, take my hand."
I slowly raised my head to see a handsome, chunky man perched over the edge of the dumpster. His deep chocolate eyes glistened as they met mine; for a moment I got lost in them. Finn pushed himself further over the edge, lowering his hand in level with my face. He waved it about a bit and repeated himself,
"Kurt, take my hand! C'mon I'm here to help," he shot me one of his infamous lop sided smiles and showed his teeth which reminded me of a 10 year old. Perfectly square teeth, like a cartoon. His eyes showed trust as I slid my fingers between his, he held tighter than I expected and his palms were much softer and comforting that I had originally thought.
It was a tangled mess, trying to get me out, usually I did it by myself since no one would help Lima's one and only gay. I could tell Finn didn't know what to do with his spare hand, for a while he was kind of awkwardly waving it around. But then I suddenly felt a tight grip of my ass. I tensed up a little, hopefully not enough for him to notice. I think the fact that he so casually did it was what got me the most. He placed me down on the hot concrete of the parking lot. He held onto my waist; my arms around his neck. What is he doing? Does he realise we look very gay at this moment in time?
We stayed like that for a while, unaware; while I was trying to ignore my thoughts and just enjoying this moment. His gaze in my eyes almost hurt, so much strength and confidence, yet showing so much confusion and fear. I blinked, regrettably, splitting our gaze and daze. He still held on; his hand rose and slowly brushed my fringe backwards into its usual place. His long skinny fingers followed the action through all the way to the back of my head. His strong, dominating hand came round slowly and rested on the side of my face. Delicately placing his fingers behind my left ear so his pale hugged my jaw and his thumb hovered, ever so gently over my cheek bone. Slowly, he moved it. Brushing the left of my face, I honestly felt like I was at home, almost like this is the way it was meant to be, everything felt so natural. Maybe it was just me, but it didn't stop my feelings and thoughts which were so arousing. It was something I would never forget, and if this turned out to be a dream I swear I could've ripped up my Gucci scarf on the spot. Well, maybe not, but I'd be pretty pissed. He showed me a smile as he reluctantly removed his hand; I felt my body shrink in on itself at the loss of his touch.
I could've kissed him right there and then, but I held myself back not wanting to ruin this moment; clearly he was still unaware of what he was doing to me. We looked into each other's eyes deeply. The bell rang from inside, Finn turned slightly and peered over his shoulder, returning back to me with a huge smile. Finn's hand turned into a fist and removed itself from my waist. My eyes widen, surely he wouldn't beat me after what just happened, then again it was Finn he was probably confused and angry and I was there practically wearing a sign that read "human punch-bag." My mind was racing but it slowed down when he playfully punched my shoulder.
"I think we should get inside," he laughed and hunched his bag further on his shoulder. All I could do was nod, nodded slowly with my mouth tightly shut in case something blurted out. Something like, "Finn I love you, more than it's physically, mentally and emotionally possible!" I hadn't realised I was frozen on the spot, not even the beaming sun could melt me from this position. Finn stopped in his trek back to the school doors, turned around and spoke.
"Hey Kurt? Are you sure you're ok? You seem a bit... distant." His voice was sweet, yet worry and harshness was woven in between. My mouth opened, I stood for a while pondering on what to say.
"Yeah, no, I'm fine. Just a bit of blood right?" I winced as I knew some of it had got on my shirt, what an insult to Marc Jacobs, but for some reason I didn't really care right now.
"I'm always here for you, you know Kurt? Just let me know if you need any help, no matter when it is, just tell me and I'll be there." He paused and made sure he looked me in the eyes, "I promise." It came from the heart, the words sounded so warm and loving. He cared about me, whether it was the way I wanted him to or not, he actually cared about me.
"Sure, I know. After all you are my knight in shining armour." WHAT? HONESTLY KURT? Why on Earth did you just say that, out loud, to him? Damn his charming side and damn my overly loving heart. I just smiled to cover up my obvious outburst and blushing cheeks. Ignoring the desire to run away to somewhere where no one would look for me like Alaska. Everyone knows I hate snow. I mean I can find it romantic but most of the time it gets all your clothes wet, all your shoes wet, makes you cold resulting in wearing some hideous fluffy coat and it freezes up the car engine resulting in walking everywhere; which then takes you back to my previous points – wet clothes, wet shoes etc.
"Awesome!" my internal venting of my hatred towards snow was interrupted. "Do I get to wear a helmet? 'Cause you know that'd be awesome and stuff." God I loved his overuse of the word "stuff", he used it for everything. I just laughed and pushed him forward by his lower back.
I really do love Finn Hudson.