Title: Broken heart that's still beating
Author: Desperate For Attention
For: Whoever wants to read my crap
Fandom: Emmerdale
Pairing: Aaron Livesy and Jackson Walsh
Title song: Broken - Lifehouse
Disclaimer: I do not own Emmerdale, nor do I really wish I did. I do however love the show it is brilliant. I am getting no profit from this fic, only enjoyment. And all of the characters will be returned safely for evening viewing later on this evening.
Summary: Clyde would have liked that Aaron mused to himself ignoring the tears that fell away from his eyes, and trying not to think of how different things would have been had he given the money back like he had said he was going to.

Broken Heart that's still beating

Aaron just sat staring at the small urn, running his rough fingers against the smooth outside as if gently caressing Clyde's soft tawny fur. He and Jackson had scattered the ashes the day before, out in the field, Clyde would have liked that Aaron mused to himself ignoring the tears that fell away from his eyes, and trying not to think of how different things would have been had he given the money back like he had said he was going to.

Jackson had been away all day, not that Aaron minded that much. He didn't want Jackson seeing him cry any more than he already had over the last couple of days. He wasn't a girl after all. He did miss him though, he did wish on some level that he was sat on the sofa with Jackson curled against him whispering comforting words and holding him tightly.

It sounded soppy and Aaron hated it. But it didn't stop him from wanting it even more.

He sniffed when the sound of his lovers van pulled up outside of Smithy Cottage and Aaron quickly rubbed the tears from his eyes on the sleeve of his hoodie and tried to put a brave face on before Jackson had chance to enter and instantly start mothering him.

"You're here." Jackson whispered softly closing the door softly when Aaron snorted a laugh at him. "Well of course you are, you live here." Jackson smiled.

"Just come home for my break, got to get back to work soon." Aaron made to get up but Jackson caught him quickly.

"Wait a minute mate; I've got something for you." Jackson grinned to himself and fiddled with the zip on his jacket when Aaron turned to meet his gaze hoping that the redness in his eyes had died down and he looked relatively normal.

Aaron felt his throat turn dry when Jackson eventually wrestled the small tawny ball of fluff from the inside of his jacket and held it out to Aaron who swallowed hard and looked back up at Jackson with confusion.

"It's not Clyde, and I know that it's different and probably a bit too soon but you loved that dog and this little guy could use someone like that. I'll understand if it's too soon Aaron. I just couldn't bear to see you like this for one more day. So when I saw it advertised in the paper this morning I rushed straight over to get him for you. I know it won't replace Clyde but it might be able to at least fill a little of what he felt behind." Jackson mumbled the smile falling from his lips when Aaron stared at the whining pup.

It was as though Aaron was looking at Clyde again, the small pup was every bit like the dog he had killed only days before only smaller and needier but all the same a beautiful little mutt that Aaron couldn't help but want. Turning back to Jackson Aaron swallowed hard and smiled lightly at his lover who sighed with relief.

"Thanks." Aaron whispered lifting the whimpering whelp from his lover's hands and brushing his fingers along the energetic pups back with a faint smile against his lips.

Jackson grinned at him and shoved his hands again into his pockets. "I'm just glad it brought a smile to that ugly mush of yours."

"Oy." Aaron snapped scowling at the older man who merely shrugged with a smile.

"Well I better get back to work, not done anything all day." Jackson laughed softly gesturing towards the door and carefully glancing between Aaron and the small pup wiggling out of his strong hold. "Maybe you should get out for a few hours as well, don't want you cooped up in here all day."

"I've been at work." Aaron forced defensively.

"No you haven't your still in your pyjamas Aaron." Jackson whispered softly crossing the room to run his hand against Aaron's arm and press a soft kiss to his forehead. "I'll come back and see you later yeah?"

"Can't you stay for a while?"

"Why miss me?" Jackson teased.

"Yeah." Aaron answered honestly.

Jackson glanced down at his watch and smiled up at his lover, "I suppose I could spare you a few hours, but just because it's you Aaron and it's only for today. I don't usually miss work for other blokes."

"I'm special though." Aaron said smugly capturing his boyfriend's lower lip between his own and gently rubbing the small pups eat as it nipped gently at his fingers and yapped unhappily at the confined space on which Aaron and Jackson's contact that forced it into. "It was a struggle getting Paddy to agree to let me keep Clyde how do you think he's going to react when he finds out what you brought me."

"I'm sure he'll forgive me eventually."

Aaron laughed softly and glanced down at the yapping whelp. It wasn't Clyde and he knew that the small pup would never replace the bond he had, had with Clyde but every time Aaron laid eyes on the small creature he would always be reminded of what Jackson had done to bring a smile to his face. It wasn't just his dog; it was theirs it was sign of their commitment.