I am the mess you chose
the closet you cannot close
the devil in you I suppose
'cuz the wounds never heal
But everything changes
if I could turn back the years
If you could learn to forgive me
then I could learn to feel
About an hour after Damon left her in the bathroom, Elena came back down stairs. She felt better physically but mentally and emotionally she was living in a whirlwind. The group still sat in the living room patiently waiting for her so they could fill her in farther. The plush read couches were filled with people. Jeremy and Anna sat on one side while Caroline sat next to her. Stefan sat in the chair next to her and Ami on the ottoman. Damon sat on the other red couch by himself.
She curled up next to him and put her feet up slowly; the quiet in the room making her really uncomfortable.
"Sorry for making you all wait for me to recover from my mini freak out, well and the hangover" she apologized. Everyone chuckled and Damon's arms tightened around her, "Bonnie is on her way with the Grimoire, she should be here any minute now" he explained.
Ami piped up there, "I didn't continue with any explanation while you were gone. This effects you more than anything and no one wants to leave you in the dark" Ami reassured and Elena loosened in Damon's arms.
He huffed, "Like I would really let you be in the dark" he snipped at her. She felt guilty for a second for being worried. "Sorry, old habits I guess" she mumbled.
Damon smirked; he knew Elena was referring to the time she spent with Stefan when he would keep things from her for what Stefan says was for her benefit. Stefan avoided eye contact with the room just then. Ami snickered, "God I love the dirt."
The room was getting impatient. Anna was playing with Jeremy's hand in her lap while Caroline was fidgeting next to them. She was still having blood issues but she was hiding them well. She was also worried about seeing Bonnie again since she wasn't really pro vampire.
"There she is" Anna said, relieved. Stefan stood up to get the door for Bonnie.
"So you will never believe what I found in here last night when I was looking though it after I left here" Bonnie started the second she crossed the threshold
The whole room's attention was on her in that moment. "Something about a spelled doppelganger?" Damon quipped.
"Uhh, no. I found something about a moonstone. It's supposed to lift the vampire curse of the sun, but then it almost rambles on about people with Lycan blood. I thought I was pretty well rehearsed in the supernatural, but werewolves are a curve ball for me" Bonnie explained.
Damon stiffened in his chair, he had been thinking non stop about why the mayor had been in the Founders day fire and why Tyler had crashed his car during the fireworks. He had been trying to figure it out on his own but his encyclopedia of a brain kept coming up empty. He ignored the whole rooms stares, "Caroline, what was Tyler like right before he crashed his car?"
She seemed thoughtful for a moment, her human thoughts kind of hazy, "he started talking about a loud noise, then he started clutching his head in pain and screaming."
"You're trying to tell me that you guys didn't know about the Lockwood blood line?" Anna asked, mostly to Damon, Stefan and Anna.
"What do you know Anna?" Stefan asked.
"Anybody realize that the mayor was thrown in to burn with the rest of the vampires that night. I almost was too if Jeremy hadn't practically smothered me trying to quiet my screaming" she paused to give Jeremy an affectionate smile, "but anyways, back when my mother had me following Katherine around like a lost puppy, I learned a lot of things Katherine probably didn't want anyone to know. Being small and insignificant helped with that, they didn't even acknowledge me half the time. Katherine made a deal with George Lockwood that involved the moon stone and the tomb, I don't know the details, you would have to ask that poisonous bitch. But werewolf is a very accurate description. They only turn on the full moon and they are natural enemies of the vampire, which gives them the power to kill us. That's why the race is almost extinct. Certain vampires have done everything in there power to take them out, to destroy the threat."
Damon was up and pacing at this point, "why would Katherine make a deal with George Lockwood? What could he possibly do for her?"
Anna shrugged, "I don't know, all I know is that Katherine had the moonstone and gave it to Lockwood in exchange for something".
"Okay well, as much as I love having a million things to pull my hair out over, what about me and the doppelganger shit Ami was talking about?" Elena asked, obviously loosing her patience.
Ami stood up and walked over to Bonnie, "how about we go in the dining room and look through this?" she pointed to the Grimoire Bonnie was clutching to her chest. She looked over at Elena meaningfully; "you can trust her Bonnie, I promise" was Elena's only response.
The two girls walked into the dining room quietly to look through the nearly ancient book. Damon went back to sitting with Elena; he pulled her close to his chest. "Don't forget, you owe me some explanations later" he told her.
She looked up at him confused, "what explanations?"
"Does the name Lucas ring any bells?" he taunted, with a smirk.
Caroline's head popped up, "Lucas? Where did that come from?"
Damon smirked wider, "well, I thought we didn't need to have the awkward ex's conversation but it seems I was sorely mistaken.
Caroline chuckled, "That's understandable considering you can't get more awkward than her ex-boyfriend, your brother. But anyways, I miss Lucas. Have you heard from him?" she asked Elena.
Elena looked down at her hands in her lap, "he still writes me letters, about twice a month" she murmured. Damon's eyes shot open, "oh great, so he's not only an old boyfriend that you were sleeping with, but he's a current pen pal. Just great."
Caroline perked up again, "sleeping with? How did I miss that?"
Elena stood up, "well I think I'm gonna go check on the witchy business" she quickly left the room without a glance backwards. She needed to get away from that conversation.
After watching her leave, Damon scanned the room. He made eye contact with his brother, "did you know about Lucas?" he asked.
Stefan smirked, "nope, but I'm glad someone is making you squirm over her the way that I did with you around".
Damon stood up and walked over to his bar cart, pouring himself a full glass of amber liquid. He was busy chugging it when he heard, "I found it" from Ami in the dining room. Damon set his drink down quickly and he and Stefan were speeding into the dinning room before another word was spoken.
They quickly sat down around the large dining table and were promptly joined by Jeremy, Anna and Caroline.
Damon pulled Elena into his lap and she relaxed into him, resting her head on his shoulder. She was first to speak, "Okay Bonnie, summarize it for us."
Bonnie was standing at the head of the table, a notepad of words in her hand while hovering over the Grimoire. "Well, like Ami said, you were created for the purpose of disposing of Katherine. Your blood acts as a blessing in her destruction. Because she is so old and powerful, our normal way of killing a vampire won't work. She can't be vervained and staked like you always do" she directed that statement to Damon, he smirked back. "She can only be staked with a piece of wood that has the blood blessing of her doppelganger and people she has sired. The concept is her own blood turning against her, and we need the blood of a direct descendent that isn't Elena."
Elena huffed, "yeah well that means we need Isobel, how the hell are we going to do that?"
"I could always just hunt her down and take a sample of her blood for this, she doesn't need to volunteer" Damon offered.
Bonnie shook her head, "there are two problems that need to be addressed before anyone does anything and one more stipulation".
"Okay witchy woman, lay 'um on me" Damon joked, effectively lightening the mood for everyone but Elena.
Bonnie exhaled heavily, "the blood given in the blessing has to be given voluntarily, and Elena's blood, which is the ultimate key, will only work when she is a completed soul" she gave the room an eye sweep; no one really understood what that meant.
"She has to exchange blood with her soul mate" she revealed. Damon tensed underneath Elena again, he had never believed in soul mates and he didn't know how they would go about proving it.
Stefan interrupted his internal monologue, "how will they know if they are soul mates?"
Bonnie looked over the passage in the book, "It doesn't directly say but I'm pretty sure it will be obvious in their reaction to a blood exchange. Oh and one more thing, who ever stakes Katherine has to have Elena's blood in there system as well." The whole room seemed exhausted just from the explanation, setting a plan in motion is going to be killer.
Everyone was silent for a moment; all of them absorbing the new information. Elena shook her head, "so we have to decide who is going to kill her before hand" she thought out loud.
Damon raised his hand, "dibbs" he quipped.
The room loosened at his joking manner, even though they all knew he was serious.
Elena leaned into him again, her head resting in the crook of his neck. He rubbed her back comfortingly. Elena was on information over load. So many things needed to happen in order to kill Katherine. They had to get cooperation from Isobel and make sure that Elena was a completed soul. It was all too much.
"Bonnie is that all for right now? I think I wanna go lay down for a while" even her voice sounded exhausted. Ami looked over at her sympathetically. Bonnie nodded, "yeah, I'm gonna keep looking at home tonight and I'll call you if I come up with anything else. Try and relax Elena. You have had a really stressful couple of days. Just take the rest of the night off."
"Well, I'm gonna go feed. Maybe find a bar. Don't worry do-gooders, I don't kill. I'll keep a low profile" With that Ami rose from her spot next to Bonnie and sped out the door. The rest of the room cleaned out quickly, Jeremy and Anna going out for food and Foosball at the grill. Caroline hung around for a moment, "Well, I have a human boyfriend I have to go break up with. I'll be back later" she was out the door before another word could be spoken.
"Oh shit, I totally forgot about Matt. I'm such a horrible friend" Elena realized.
Damon smirked, "Why? You didn't sleep with Caroline. But Stefan sure does have a record for stealing his chicks."
Stefan was up and gone seconds later, after murmuring something about "looking out for Caroline 'cause she is new". Bonnie left moments later and Elena stood and made her way to Damon's bedroom without another word. She crawled into his bed and let the covers embrace her, Damon was in the door way watching her the whole time.
"Are you okay? I know you've had a lot of information thrown at you today" he was visibly worried about her reaction to the latest crisis.
She smiled faintly at him, "I'm fine. Just come lay with me for a while" she asked. He complied quickly, kicking off his shoes and pulling her too him on the bed. They sat contently for a few minutes before she finally spoke, "okay, ask me".
She felt him chuckle next to her, her head vibrating on his chest. "So give me the time line, where does Lucas fit in?"
"uhh, not really between Matt and Stefan, mostly overlapping with Matt" she explained, Damon's eyebrow raised.
He wrapped his arms around her more, "I never picked you for a cheater Elena" he murmured.
She stilled at his words, she needed to explain, "I have never cheated. Me and Matt were very on and off, whenever we were off, Lucas was there. He wasn't really friends with the whole group I was in, he wasn't a jock, he was an outsider and that appealed to me. We partied together and I had feelings for him, he was the first guy I ever slept with. But then my parents died and he told me he loved me and I freaked. I harbored a lot of guilt for what had happened to my parents and I cut him out as a result" she tried to shrug it off but he was intrigued.
"Were you in love with him? Is that why you freaked out and pushed him away?"
"I loved him more than I loved Matt and probably more than I loved Stefan, but during that time in my life, I needed security and that's what Matt was. I found myself doing reckless things with Lucas but he was willing to grow up to be with me. He wanted to quit the drinking and the partying and have the legitimate high school romance. His love was real and intense and it scared me. I ran and he moved a couple months later but he still writes me all the time."
Damon searched her face for a minute, "wait, I'm confused. Lucas was willing to be your security but you wouldn't let him, you let Matt?"
"I guess it was a more mature relationship with Lucas and I wasn't ready for that. Matt was always my best friend, he was safe. Lucas was a risk that I wasn't willing to take" she explained. Damon wished he hadn't asked. He could see the similarities. The situation was repeated with him and Stefan. Matt and Stefan were secure and she gravitated to them because she didn't have to worry about getting more hurt with them. Lucas and he were the emotional risks that came with a promise of intense love but always came with uncertainty of behavior.
She huffed next to him, "Okay judging by the deep in thought look on your face, this obviously needs to be said; what I felt for Lucas pales in comparison to what I feel for you. And I can prove that because being scared of any risk will never push me away from you."
"But you still think you are taking a risk, your still scared with me" he wasn't asking.
She smiled at him, "Loving someone means giving them the power to break you. The more you love them, the more power they have. Lucas had the power to make me cry, you have the power to destroy me" her eyes filled with tears. He could definitely identify with her explanation; she had always had the power to destroy him.
He stroked her back with the tips of his fingers, "I love you too much" he whispered.
She chuckled, "that's okay. So do I." And with that, she closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep, feeling safe in the arms of the man that held her heart and completed her soul.
A.N. Okay so I owe you all a big apology. Writing has been really difficult for me lately and I am sorry that you guys suffer for it. Last night's episode sparked some courage though so I have new story up. Check it out. Hope you all enjoyed the sentimental babble between our lovely main characters and finally hearing what the Grimoire had to say. Please send the love, they make me write faster. -Ashley