Author's Notes: Written for the doomed ships comment ficathon, the prompt: "Glee, Kurt/Finn, this town is a make-you town or a break-you town/And a bring-you-down town." I think I kind of missed the point, but oh well.
The Way Out of Broken Glass
"Finn? You're crying," Kurt says, although it's fairly obvious.
"I kinda noticed," says Finn, his voice hitching as he pulls his pillow closer. Kurt frowns, and makes his way over to the bed, gingerly sitting down.
"Finn, what's wrong?"
"Rachel dumped me," he blurts out, and Kurt sighs.
"I wish I could say I'm more surprised than I am," he says, and Finn flinches. Kurt immediately feels guilty. "Sorry. That was tactless."
Finn doesn't respond, and after an awkward pause Kurt sighs and lies down next to him. He's not a hundred percent sure how appropriate that is (in Finn's bed, next to his body, everything that's ever – stop thinking, Hummel) but Finn doesn't ask him to move, so Kurt doesn't.
"Did she tell you why?"
It doesn't have the intended effect. Finn pulls the pillow up to cover his face and sniffles into it.
"Finn?" Kurt asks. "Tell me you're not planning on suffocating yourself."
Finn reveals his eyes long enough to glare. "No," he says, then hides his face again. Kurt can't help but think he looks about two.
He sighs and pulls the pillow away from Finn's face. "I'm sorry," he says. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Although I'm always looking for a new excuse to hate one Rachel Berry, I'll survive. I'm just... worried about you."
For a while, Finn says nothing; he starts staring at the wall over Kurt's side. Kurt bites his lip – he doesn't know what's happening. "I'm going nowhere," Finn mumbles, and Kurt cocks his head to the side.
"Beg your pardon?"
"She said... She didn't mean to say it," Finn tells him, which really doesn't clear things up much. "She said... she wanted to split, 'cause she's going to that fancy college in New York and she didn't want to do the whole long distance thing. And, I mean, I offered to follow her there – I didn't even really mean the same school, but she like... took it that way. And she said I couldn't do it before she could stop herself. I'm the dumbass boyfriend, and apparently she loved me, but it's time for greater heights or whatever. She dumped me, I got the right to stop paying attention."
Kurt winces. "Finn... I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Finn says, which is clearly preposterous, given he's now crying on his bed with his stepbrother. "I mean... I should have seen it coming. I'm not good enough."
"Finn, don't you dare; don't you act like–"
"Just hear me out, okay?" he sounds genuinely annoyed, and Kurt chooses to be quiet. "Come on, man, you know me. She always thought I was her leading man... I'm not. I'm not anything, really. I was never gonna follow her there, I just didn't have anywhere else to go. God, I'm fucking pathetic."
"Finn, stop," Kurt implores him. "You are better than that. You are sweet and perfect and special and Rachel–"
Kurt is cut off by Finn throwing himself forward and plastering a kiss over his mouth. He only makes a surprised squeak before he learns the ropes; he wraps a hand around Finn's neck and kisses back enthusiastically, gently tugging at the base of his hair. He tastes like chocolate cake and some sort of pretentious abstract noun; unfortunately the brief tang of salt reminds Kurt of the reality.
"Finn what the hell?" Kurt shrieks after his sanity returns, pushing Finn away by the shoulders. It's hilariously high-pitched, even for him.
"Come on man, don't stop me," Finn's voice sounds so broken Kurt wouldn't be surprised if he vomited his heart onto the bed. He leans in again and Kurt turns his head out of obligation; the kiss lands on his jaw. "You love me," Finn mutters. "Please don't tell me you stopped. Even if it's true."
Tears start to prick at Kurt's eyes – of course it's not true. He gave up on getting over Finn Hudson long ago; he just didn't think Finn was aware of that. "Finn, stop it," he says, reluctantly pushing Finn back by the shoulders again. "Look, I don't know what Rachel's done to you–"
"To hell with Rachel!" yells Finn, and it honestly makes Kurt jump. "This isn't about her. Please. Tell me you love me. Tell me why you love me. I'm not worth it, really; I'm dumb and I'm shallow and I'm really weak-willed and I've been a major dick to you in the past, and I don't understand."
"Please Finn, don't do this to me," Kurt whispers, digging his hands into his palms. If he says it, it's over. The final nail in the coffin of his hope that he and Finn could ever have any kind of normal relationship – friends and brothers, like he always says they are – has been hammered. And Kurt can't afford to be the one who killed that hope. "Our parents are upstairs, Finn. Think. If they find out about this..."
Finn shakes his head frantically. "I can't think. I've never been good at thinking. I... people love me, and they shouldn't, but that's all I'm good for so I go with it. You love me more than anyone. I'm never going to get out of this town; I'm not strong enough, not like you. And... all I have going for me, is the fact people who love me might come back and save my soul once every couple of years," he says, leaning back in and kissing Kurt softly on the lips. This time, Kurt lets him. "I don't deserve it," he admits, "but please, if you're gonna do that, start now."
"Finn, stop!" Kurt sits straight up. And then he breaks into tears. "I love you, okay? I love you, I love you, I love you, and if you don't stop using it to deal with your own nervous breakdown I'm going to fucking kill you."
Finn stares at him without comprehension. Kurt sighs and lies back down.
"I've always loved you," he admits. "You didn't want me to, and I tried to stop, but it didn't work and I'm sorry, but you're an asshole, because aren't you realizing even looking at you is like a knife to the chest to me?" Yes it's a little melodramatic, but it gets the point across. "Now you want me to, but not because you want me. You think you're broken, and you know that if you were I'd bother to put you back together again. But I stand by my previous statement: you are better than this, Finn. You will make it out of this town; it's your destiny. I saw the boy who was trapped by this town, and I saw him fight back. This town makes you weaker or stronger, and I say you're one of the strong ones. You're not who you were three-four years ago, Finn Hudson. You don't need me to put you together, and anything I'd do now would tear you apart. And, for the record, you are entirely too good to take advantage of how I feel like this."
Finn finally looks like he understands. "...I'm sorry."
"I'll let it slide."
"What am I going to do?"
Kurt sighs. "You'll do what I just said – you'll feel better soon. You'll get out of here. You'll prove people wrong. You'll survive. That, Finn Hudson, is what you're good for."
Finn just smiles sadly at him. "I don't believe you."