Goku vs. Superman: Confrontation on New Namek

Notes on copyright issues: "Superman" is a DC Comics property originally created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster. The characters Goku, Emperor PIlaf, Shu, Mai, and Elder Moori as well as the planet "New Namek" and the Namek race are the original creations of Akira Toriyama. This work of "fan fiction" is an original story, however the characters used in the story belong to the aforementioned parties.

Chapter One: Stirrings on New Namek

Emperor Pilaf looked down at the lush, greenish planet below his stolen Capsule Corporation spacecraft and grinned. New Namek, home of the remaining Namekian race was a planet that knew nothing of his designs of conquest. It was a planet with seven mystical dragon balls that had the power to grant anyone a wish. Most importantly, it was a planet that Goku, Pilaf's hated nemesis, was not on. Nobody would stop his world conquest this time.

"Shu! Mai!" the diminutive blue skinned semi-tyrant screeched as the spaceship touched down to the planet's surface. The duo of Pilaf's most trusted, loyal, and resourceful henchmen (who's names in combination just happen to sound just like the pronunciation of a Chinese dim sum) hurriedly ran up to their liege and snapped to attention. Shu was a male fox who walked, talked, and acted like a human—at least a human who dressed as a comical ninja. Mai, on the other hand, was a fairly tall and not unattractive woman who acted the part of a nefarious agent all too well.

"The two of you go and get into your Namek costumes, then go out and get me those Namekian dragon balls!" The two henchmen gave hurried bows, "Yes, your Excellency!" Shu literally tripped over himself trying to get to his suit fast enough. Mai was no less urgent in obeying the order, but despite her apparent frantic action, she donned her costume without incident. When the two were suited up they both exited the spacecraft.

From a distance, Shu and Mai appeared to be Nameks. Even standing in the same room would not give them away. However, on close inspection it would be easy enough to tell they were fakes. The coloration of the fake "skin" was close, but certainly not natural looking and the heads had a Halloween mask appearance.

The shoddiness of their costumes not withstanding, Shu and Mai managed to navigate the planet and not be discovered. With the help of Bulma's dragon radar, which they had stolen along with the spacecraft, the two henchmen managed to locate and retrieve 6 of the 7 dragon balls with relative ease. A combination of Mai shooting her hand laser and Shu running for his life answered for the few times they had to handle dinosaurs or other indigenous monsters.

When the dragon radar located the 7th and final dragon ball, however, the two were dismayed. The radar pointed them directly into the center of the largest settlement of Nameks on the planet. They were going to have to face the Nameks directly if they wanted to complete their mission. The two decided to report back to Pilaf.

"Emperor Pilaf, here are six of the dragon balls, sir." Shu presented the find to his boss with an air of accomplishment. Pilaf, the greedy imp-man who bore a pair Kanji characters on his robe that mean "Fried Rice" snatched the shiny orbs from his underling's grasp with delight. Then his eyes narrowed to slits and he turned to regard his cronies.

"Are the two of you both unable to count? I said I want SEVEN dragon balls!" roared the would-be ruler.

Mai responded carefully. "Yes, Emperor, we understand your command. It's just, sir, that the last dragon ball is in the middle of the Namek's village surrounded by their warriors. We thought it would be dutiful if we brought the dragon balls we had to you first while we planned—"

Pilaf cut her off. "You thought?" Pilaf exploded, "I didn't tell you to go out and THINK you simpletons, I ordered you to go out and get SEVEN dragon balls for me." Shu and Mai hesitated for a second. "NOW GO TO THAT VILLAGE AND GET THAT DRAGON BALL FOR ME!" The two henchmen scrambled over each other trying to get out the door as fast as they could.

Shu and Mai walked halfway through the village in their Namek costumes uncontested. None of the villagers paid them any attention, busy going about their business. But then one of the Nameks noticed them and walked over to see who they were.

"Hello there!" he called out in greeting. "What are you doing on a warm day like this?" Shu and Mai had to wait for Bulma's Namek translator to interpret what was said for them. Their hesitation made the Namek take a closer look. "I don't recognize you two. I thought I knew all the survivors…"

Mai was the first to respond. "Uh, yes, we're actually Namek-people just back from Earth-planet. We were, uh, staying with Dende until now-time." The translation device did a fair job getting Mai's meaning across, but the oddity of her speech made the Namekian very suspicious. He took an even closer look.

"You're not Nameks!" he exclaimed. The shouting quickly drew a crowd. Shu and Mai tried to talk their way out of their predicament, but talking only seemed to make things worse. A couple of warriors arrived on the scene. One of them moved to grab the intruders by the arm and Mai pulled out her laser pistol, pointing it at the villager who had approached her. Shu took a ninja stance, but in doing so knocked into Mai, causing her to fire her gun. One of the warriors intercepted the shot and blocked it with his hand. He glared at Shu and Mai with an intense expression of anger.

"What is all this?" came an elderly voice. All the Nameks parted as an older, plump Namek walked through the gathered crowd. There were hushed whispers of "Elder Moori" as the eldest Namek approached. The villager who first spotted the costumed Shu and Mai quickly related all that had transpired.

"I don't know why you two have come, but I know you are certainly NOT Nameks. I know all the Nameks. What—"

Elder Moori did not finish his question. He was interrupted by a high-pitched, maniacal laugh. Behind him, standing just outside his domicile, was Emperor Pilaf with all seven of the dragon balls collected together.

"Fools! All I needed was for you to all be distracted long enough for me to get the dragon ball from your domicile. Now I will rule the world. PORUNGA! I summon you to grant my wish!"

Suddenly, there was an awesome display of power as the seven Namekian dragon balls shot a golden beam of light up into the heavens. The sky turned dark and bolts of lightning struck the earth. The dragon balls answered with a release of brilliant crackling energy then levitated up into the air, glowing with a golden intensity that was all the more startling for the darkness outside. The glowing orbs released a torrent of power up into the sky and then seemed themselves to lose their form and merge with the golden power. The energy twined and twisted into the massive form of a giant spiked and scaled dragon that towered over the village high up into the sky.

Emperor Pilaf wasted no time shouting his wish up into the heavens. "I wish for unlimited power and to rule the world!" Shu and Mai gasped and waited in anticipation.

Nothing happened.

A familiar figure suddenly appeared in the village. "Hi guys!" came Goku's enthusiastic greeting. "I felt the power of Porunga's summoning and got curious what you were going to wish for. What's going on?"