Retirieve The Xros Loader

Chapter III: Night Raid

The group made their way through the dark forest as quietly as possible. The slightest sound terrified them, even though most of the time it was Zenjirou or Shoutmon stepping on a twig. The danger was obvious but the strength of Taiki's bad habit was forever stronger than his sense of danger...

Tactimon's encampment was in the middle of the forest, the Troopmon had cleared a number of trees around it.

Taiki and Shoutmon looked up from a bush. "...I don't see Tactimon," Taiki whispered.

"He must be in a tent or something," Zenjirou said. "Look at all those guards...There's no way we could sneak in there without being seen."

"Let's scout around," Dorulumon suggested. "Maybe there's a place we can sneak in on the other side."

"We'll split up and meet back here," Taiki said. "Shoutmon, ChibiKamemon, Akari and I will go left, you guys go right, Dorulumon, Jijimon, Starmon and Pickmon wait here."

The rest of the group nodded in agreement. They split up in search of an opening.

Zenjirou and Kiriha's group searched the forest around the camp. "Hey, Kiriha, you see that?" Zenjirou pointed to a light in the distance, about thirty yards from the main camp.

Kiriha nodded. He, Cutemon, Zenjirou and Balistamon went toward the light...

The light came from a lantern, by a hot spring. Tactimon was sitting in the spring, alone.

...With Kiriha's Xros Loader on a rock directly behind him.

"...Let's go back to Taiki, we can steal it back, but we'll need back up if he notices us," Zenjirou whispered, crouched behind a bush with the others.

"...I wish I had known about that hot spring," Kiriha commented.

"Why?" Zenjirou said, he then sniffed the air. "Oh, right...Numemon." Kiriha just gave the slightest of nods.

Kiriha and Zenjirou went back to the meeting place. Taiki and the others were already there.

"Did you see any places to sneak in?" Taiki asked.

"No, even better. We found Tactimon, he's at a hot spring down that way," Zenjirou said. "He's totally alone, and Kiriha's Xros Loader is right there, too! We can just sneak in and grab it!"

"Why didn't you?" Akari asked.

"I'm not going alone, I want back up." Zenjirou said. "What if he spotted us?"

"What if he gets out of the spring before we get there?" Akari replied.

"That's why we gotta hurry!" Zenjirou whisper-shouted.

"All right, let's go," Taiki whispered. "All together." He and the group followed Zenjirou and Kiriha back to the hot spring. Tactimon was still there, his back to the group and the Xros Loader still on the rock.

"I'll grab it," Shoutmon said, sneaking off toward the Xros Loader.

"Wait, no!" Dorulumon whisper-shouted, Shoutmon didn't hear him.

"What's wrong?" Taiki asked.

"It's a trap," Dorulumon said.

"How can you be so sure?" Akari asked.

"Because he's in the hot spring in full body armor," Dorulumon said.

The groups' eyes went wide.

"...How did we not realize that?" Kiriha groaned.

"...Because we're stupid..." Zenjirou muttered.

Shoutmon grabbed the Xros Loader, turned back to the group and raised it high. He was surprised by the 'Oh CRAP' look on everyone's faces. "...What's wrong with them?" He thought.

Tactimon's head suddenly fell off, revealing his helmet was being propped up by a stick.

The real Tactimon and a number of Troopmon stepped out from behind the trees. "...Hello, Xros Heart..." Tactimon said, crossing his arms.

"CRAP!" Shoutmon took off towards the group. The Troopmon closed in on him, bringing his down. At the last second, he threw the Xros Loader towards Kiriha. Unfortunately, it landed a few feet from the bush.

"GET THAT LOADER!" Tactimon shouted.

Kiriha leapt forward for his Xros Loader, a Troopmon tackled him just short of it. "Got him, Lord Tacti-UGH!" The Troopmon released Kiriha. "WHAT'S THAT SMELL?"

Kiriha scrambled for his Xros Loader while the Troopmon was distracted.

"You idiot!" Tactimon screamed at the Troopmon. "Why did you let him go?"

"Lord Tactimon, he smelled bad..." The Troopmon whined.

"MailBirdramon, Greymon!" Kiriha raised his Xros Loader. His digimon loaded, appearing before Tactimon.

"SHOUTMON!" Taiki held up his Xros Loader.

"TROOPS! TAKE THEM DOWN!" Tactimon shouted.

As the battle began, a terrified scream rang from ChibiKamemon's direction. He had still been hiding in the bushes. The little turtle Digimon scrambled off into the woods.

"YOU CRYBABY COWARD!" Shoutmon screamed towards ChibiKamemon as he fled. "COME BACK AND HELP US!"

"Don't worry, we'll be all right!" Taiki held up his Xros Loader. "DIGI XROS!"He combined Shoutmon with Dorulumon and the others, while Starmon and Pickmon formed the rare star sword for Zenjirou...

Even with Kiriha's help, the battle was one-sided in Tactimon's favor. A couple well-aimed blasts from Tactimon sent Greymon and MailBirdramon flying into a set of trees, knocking them both out. Shoutmon x3 barely stood his own and devolved back into Shoutmon and the others. Zenjirou's efforts were also in vain, his rare star sword turned back into Starmon and Pickmon after a Troopmon managed a lucky shot.

The group was cornered against a tree, Tactimon stood before them. "You fools, you thought you could win against me?"

"We...We thought it was worth a shot..." Taiki said.

"Hmph, my battle plan and decoy were absolutely perfect, you took the bait like the fools you are," Tactimon reached behind his shoulder. "Jatestufujinmaru!" He drew out his sword. "Any final words?"

"...You suck." Zenjirou said, flatly. All eyes fell on him. "...What? I've always wanted to say that to him!"

"Just for that, you're first!" Tactimon raised his sword.

Zenjirou closed his eyes, awaiting the final blow...

...Instead, he heard a loud CLANG! Followed by a low groan from Tactimon.

Zenjirou opened his eyes, Tactimon stood with his sword raised. Motionless. Zenjirou noted the sudden appearance of a large dent on the top of his helmet. After a few seconds he fell flat on his back, a large rock on the ground by his side and a number of frightened Troopmon scattering off.

"...What the hell...?" Shoutmon looked up.

In a tree, right above Tactimon, sat ChibiKamemon. He waved down to the group, not a single tear in his eyes.

"You RULE, ChibiKamemon!" Taiki shouted. "You saved our lives!"

"ChibiKamemon's the best!" Zenjirou cheered. "I owe you big time! I'll split all my food with you from now on!"

"...Thanks," Kiriha said, smiling up at the little turtle ever so slightly.

"...I can't believe it..." Shoutmon continued looking up at ChibiKamemon, even after Taiki and Zenjirou helped the little turtle down from the tree.

"Shoutmon?" ChibiKamemon approached the little dragon. "...Are you all right?" He waved a hand in front of Shoutmon.

"...I can't believe it..." Shoutmon repeated.

"Come on, let's get out of here before he comes to!" Taiki pulled on Shoutmon's arm.

"Like they say, 'a dead Zhuge can scare off a live Sima,' so an unconscious Tactimon's scary enough for me to want to get the hell out of here!" Zenjirou said, helping Taiki with Shoutmon.

"Wha?" Taiki turned to Zenjirou with a confused look.

"LEARN YOUR HISTORY!" Zenjirou screamed.

"...I can't believe it..." Shoutmon, once again, repeated, still staring up at ChibiKamemon's perch.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll talk about it when we get back to the village!" Taiki started to drag the Digimon by the arm.

"...I can't believe it..."

"You said that already!" Zenjirou rolled his eyes. "Akari! Little help?"

A few days passed...

Tactimon's forces withdrew from the zone. Tactimon issuing an order that the previous night's incident NEVER took place. The Troopmon replied with "What incident?" unanimously.

The village Digimon were safe to return home once Tactimon's army was gone. They were happy to provide more food and whatever else Xros Heart and Kiriha wanted.

Kiriha stood at the city gate, his Xros Loader firmly attached to his belt. "...Thanks for the help, Kudou Taiki..." He said.

"Glad we could help, Kiriha!" Taiki said with a smile.

"We'll meet again, perhaps as allies..." Kiriha trailed off. He then added, "...Or enemies..."

"...You're welcome..." Akari muttered, Zenjirou held back the urge to make an obscene gesture while Kiriha's back was turned. Strangely, Taiki was still smiling, which annoyed Zenjirou to no end.

"...Goodbye, then," Kiriha walked off, checking to make sure he still had his Xros Loader every dozen or so steps.

"The nerve of that guy..." Akari muttered.

"Well, I say we spend the rest of the day basking in our victory before heading off," Taiki said, turning to Akari and Zenjirou. "What do you say?"

"I want my genmaicha," Zenjirou said. "And a warm bath." He started back to the inn, Akari and Taiki following. They passed through the town square...

...Where ChibiKamemon was surrounded by the dozens of Wormmon that were once Shoutmon's fan club. "Tell us more, Kame-nii-chan!" One of the Wormmon said, bouncing up and down. Another brought a bowl of fruit to ChibiKamemon. The little turtle was happy to share it with the Wormmon, eating just an apple as he told his story.

"...Well, I knew my friends were in danger, and Tactimon's super powerful!" ChibiKamemon said, "But I couldn't do anything like charge at him, so I snuck around and found a BIG rock..."

Shoutmon stepped up behind the Wormmon. "...Hey, wanna hear a war story-"

"Shh! ChibiKame-nii-chan's telling us his war story!" An annoyed Wormmon said.

"ChibiKame-nii-chan's the best!" Shouted another. The others made it more than clear they were more interested in ChibiKamemon's stories than Shoutmon's.

"I...I'm a war hero, too..." Shoutmon said, tears welling in his eyes.

"ChibiKame-nii-chan, need any more food?"

"I wanna get him more food! And some tea! I know where there's a big tea pot we can use!"

ChibiKamemon smiled as the Wormmon crowded around, bickering over who would give him food and tea while begging for more stories.

Shoutmon could only watch in dispair, his fan club had abandoned him...

...For the Great War Hero, ChibiKamemon.

The End


Hello, Dummies.

Today's lesson is on knowing when to show mercy.

When you look into the pathetic, tear-filled eyes of your enemies as they beg for their lives, sometimes, you have to relent. Crush their forces so they can no longer pose a threat and let them leave with their head intact. If you do kill them, sometimes you can...create a power vacuum in their territory, causing even more trouble. Or you may need them to fend off an even bigger threat and simply mean to assert your dominance over them. Or they're just that pathetic that letting them live is an even greater disgrace than death in battle.

So, remember, Dummies, I LET those idiots at Xros Heart live this time. The looks on their faces pulled on my heart strings, they were so pathetic that even I could not bear to end them. I'd rather let them live on, in thanks that I was ever-so merciful. Next time will be different, but for now they can enjoy what precious time they have left before I do DESTROY. THEM. ALL!

And that is what happened in my previous battle with Xros Heart...Anyone who begs to differ my consult my associate, Jatetsufujinmaru. He will gladly separate your head from your neck for spreading such horrible lies about me.


I hope you learned a little something from my lessons, Dummies. Though I sincerely doubt you did, miracles have happened. I suppose.

Lord Tactimon

Original Author's (AKA Ori's) Notes:
Remember what I said about how I'm always super mean to characters I like? I have a confession to make...I've got one exception to that rule...

...Here goes...

...ChibiKamemon's just so ****ing ADORABLE! I can't bring myself to be mean to the little guy! Seriously, he's my favorite Xros Wars (and possibly all seasons) Digimon and I just had to give him a happy ending in this story. Turtles are awesome, especially ChibiKamemon! Kame-kame! (I'll add their verbal tics in future fics)

Regarding Zenjirou's "A dead Zhuge can scare off a live Sima" line. This is an actual Chinese saying, which refers to the fact that Zhuge Liang is such a strategic bad ass he made Sima Yi (his great rival) crap his pants in terror with a posthumous strategy (among other things he "did"\predicted would happen after he died). Sima Yi fled the battlefield, holding his head and screaming, "Have I still a head?" repeatedly until he reached his camp. Tactimon could learn a thing or two from just a go game with Kongming, I think...

Hope you enjoyed my first humor fic in seven years. I know I had a ton of fun writing it... I just hope it turned out funny in the end.


Taiki's Notes:

A character you like that you're actually NICE to? The Apocalypse is nigh! Ori's being nice to a character! It can only be a sign of impending doom for us all!

Welcome back to the site, Ori. Can't wait to see what else pops out of that derranged mind of yours. Perhaps a Taiki and Zenjirou romantic comedy? Hm?

Fine, I'll stop. I'm certain you'll just stick to Jenkato, right?


-Taiki Matsuki