Hullo! I want to shout out to LIMBOdib, Imaginarydeathmuffin, and Qille who have been my only reviewers to this story so far. To those who actually read this I get down on my knees and say: I NEED REVIEWS! PLEEEEEAAAASSSSEEEE! If you think it's awesome or if you think it's stupid, I want to know! Even if you think its average and you see a typo, please help me out!
Random quote: "Your hair wants cutting."
-The Mad Hatter, 'Alice in Wonderland'
I sometimes have dreams that I own CWaCoM; and then I wake up, remember that I don't, and burst into tears.
I followed Master down to the docks, apologizing the whole way. I used different movies every time. Heck, I used audio books and you-tube videos to try and get my point across; but all Master did was sigh.
He climbed down the rickety ladder at the end of the dock and hung there. Steve sat next to him, and I hung below them. I sighed using Victor Van Dort's voice (SQUEE!) and tried once again to convey my apology.
"I'm sorry," I said, looking at my armored knees.
This was, what, the millionth time?
Master sighed," It's not your fault."
He looked back out to the gray sea, his shoulders slumping dejectedly. "I wish you could talk." He muttered, not looking at me.
It was true, I couldn't. I was restricted to clips on the internet and the animal language. Apparently, I looked as miserable as I felt because Steve started to counsel me.
"Hey, you can talk to him better than I can." He said softly.
"Yeah," I muttered, now feeling sorry for the monkey," but I want to do more."
We gazed out to sea again, watching the grey-green water lap at the grey, soulless sky. Then I heard someone coming. I looked up, wondering if they were angry and looking for Master.
Wait, it was that weather girl we ran over earlier. She was really looking depressed. Ms. Weather-girl walked to the end of the docks and stood there, right above our heads. She sighed; looking out to sea, then started to look angry and threw the microphone in her hand out into the grey depths. She glared at the ripples for a moment before heaving a sigh and sitting down. And guess where she put her feet! Right in Master's eyes. D:
He screamed (duh), and the girl immediately jumped up.
"Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! Are you okay? I didn't...g-get a chance to…" Master interrupted her.
"It's okay," he said, holding the heel of his palm to his eye, "It's just…pain."
The girl sighed heavily," Sorry, I am not myself today. My whole career was ruined by some crazy jerk riding a homemade rocket." Master flinched his gaze away from her. Then, she spun around, eyes narrowed, "Wait a minute."
Master flinched away as if he was afraid she would attack him or something stupid like that. Then she surprised us both.
"What is going on with your feet?" she asked innocently, pointing at his sparkling shoes.
"Uhhh, Spray-on Shoes," he muttered questioningly," They, uhh, don't come off." The girl's whole being brightened up.
"Cool!" she exclaimed, grabbing his foot and pulling it up to her eye level, causing him to hit his head on a rung. "This could solve the untied shoes epidemic!"
Master lit up. His eyes grew to the size of dinner plates, and they sparkled like a little kid's. The corners of his mouth rose into themost ADORABLE smile in all of smile-dom.
I was so busy trying to find Photo-Booth in my cluttered Finder that I didn't hear what she said next, but whatever it was she said, Master replied to it with, "yeah, exactly!"
Blondie then seemed to realize what she was doing and frowned.
"I mean…" she said, giggling nervously,"Ohh! They're… shiny!"
I blinked. Was this girl trying to act like a ditz? She sighed and dropped Master's foot.
"I'm Sam," She stated.
Master hit his head on a ladder rung again.
"Flint." He muttered, rubbing his probably bruised scalp.
"Steve! " The monkey's translator squeaked excitedly.
Sam gasped, "Is that a monkey thought translator?" she inquired.
"SteEeve!" It squeaked again as if confirming her question. I rolled my eyes. Did she freaken' not see the ROBOT right in front of her?
"HEY!" I shouted in the voice of Zim, climbing up the ladder and waving my arms around franticly for attention. She took one look at my awesomeness and her eyes nearly popped out of her skull. Yeah, I'm so freaken' awesome that I sometimes have that effect on people.
"A… Robot?" she choked out eventually. She turned to Master who was smiling adorably again. (Wow, Master was soooo totally love struck) "Did you make all this?" she inquired, and then realization decided to betray us and slap Sam across the face. She suddenly became angry and pointed an accusing finger at Master.
"You hit me with a rocket!" she accused.
Master's smile dropped.
"You kicked me in the face!" He countered, sounding hurt.
"I said I was sorry! Ughh!"
She threw her hands in the air and started yappin' on about something… but I wasn't listening. I was too busy staring at the drop of mustard that just fell from the sky, soon accompanied by a pickle.
Master stared intently, eyebrows furrowed, before climbing up the ladder.
Something had landed inside an empty steel barrel. Nimble as a squirrel, I leaped up onto its rim and peered inside.
"Cheeeese" I said in Fred's voice. As I reached in to grab it, a ratbird appeared, snarling.
"Get your own!" It growled loudly. I narrowed my eyes in annoyance and fired a laser blast at it (Please don't tell Master about my laser, he'd make me remove it). That scared it off. I pried the slightly melted cheese off the sticky, paint-ash with my thin, black claws and took it back to Master. I thrust it into the air in front of his eyes so he had to cross them to see it. When he did focus in on the cheese his mouth fell open. He looked pretty stupid. Eyes crossed and mouth hanging open like an idiot.
"But that could only mean… "He turned around and gasped, looking up at the sky. I looked up too, wondering what was so gasp worthy.
I gasped too. A long, SpongeBob-esk gasp. This was definitely gasp-worthy. This was so gasp-worthy that Steve's translator picked up a gasp as his foremost thought. This was so gasp-worthy that I heard every single citizen of Swallow Falls gasp. This was so gasp-worthy that Master gasped for, what, 70 seconds straight? This was so gasp-worthy that I could bet some people would drop dead from disbelief (and lack of air). This was so gasp-worthy you'll probably want to know my address after I tell you what the heck it was so you can have me shipped to the Assylum. You still want to hear? Okay here it goes… I'm gunna tell you what happened… I'm getting really close… I'm winding up the suspense…
It was raining cheeseburgers.
No, I'm not kidding. It really was. Right there in front of me! It was raining cheeseburgers!
Cheeseburgers, bigger than my head, were falling from a giant, purple and yellow thunderhead.
I'm being dead serious.
I stared for a long time. I'm not exactly sure how long I stared, I just know I stared. I think I snapped out of it when Steve jumped up into the air, shouting.
"It's raining food! I can't believe it, it's raining food!" he shouted, while his translator screeched, "Excited! Excited!"
Master laughed. He laughed so happily it made me feel like my very circuits were smiling. He bit into a cheeseburger he had caught.
"My machine works!" he said softly, mouth half full of cheeseburger. I didn't have the heart (no pun intended) to remind him that I had helped so technically it was mine to. "IT REALLY WORKS!" he shouted into the sky, spinning round and round, laughing.
Sam ran up to him, evidently shocked. No surprise there, I thought, I mean, I'm pretty shocked myself, and I live with this guy! "Your machine?" she asked," Is that what that rocket was?" A cheeseburger fell into her hands as she spoke.
"Uhhh…." He looked at the ground and then back up at her, smiling nervously, "you like it?" She took a bite out of her burger and rolled her eyes in delight.
I lost interest in their conversation somewhere around there and instead occupied myself by stuffing as many cheeseburgers as I possibly could into my face.
Oh! It was so good! After around 7 months of running on nothing but gasoline and sardines, (which I'll tell you right now is a very gross combo) this was heaven. Steve looked at me curiously for a second before turning his head at Sam's loud exclamation of "MANNY, GET YOUR CAMERA!" Master followed after a sprinting Sam, and we followed him so… (LAW OF SYLLOGISM PEPOLE!) We all followed Sam.
"Thanks Patrick!" Sam said excitedly. I watched in mild curiosity as Sam opened up her show. "Okay everybody you are not gunna believe this one but I am standing in the middle of a burger rain!" She smirked at the camera as a great, big burger fell into her outstretched hand. "You may have seen a meteor shower but you have never seen a shower meatier than this."
O-Kaaaaay…that was the worst pun my antennae have ever had the misfortune of sensing.
I turned my attention to the townsfolk as Sam continued. My anger had been lessened considerably because of the miracle raining down from the heavens, but it was still there. I had to suppress it as I watched them eat the burgers they had been so angry about receiving.
"This tastes significantly better than sardines!" I heard someone say. This only served to raise my temper. I took a deep, artificial breath and turned back to Sam's report.
"This food weather was created intentionally by meek-ish backyard tinkerer, Flint Lockwood." I heard the whole town gasp at the same time.
"Flint Lockwood?" a familiar officer's voice asked.
They turned simultaneously (It was really creepy) to my master.
"Hi." Master squeaked, grinning nervously and waving a little bit.
He was immediately tackled to the ground (again) by the towering Earl.
"You're under arrest for ruining Sardine Land!" he boomed, pinning Master down with his foot.
I wanted to punch him, blast him, kill him; but it would probably get Master in more trouble, so I settled for crouching low, like an angry tiger, and growling menacingly.
I was interrupted in my murderus rage by Sam's loud voice.
"Flint, those burgers were awesome! " She exclaimed, "The producer called and he was all, 'everybody loves that food weather'!"
I was interrupted again by the mayor.
"Food weather…" he mused in that voice that reminded me of the mayor from Jaws, "this could be even bigger than sardine land!"
I scoffed. No dip Sherlock.
I was again interrupted (seriously these guys are too rude) by the entire town begging Master to make them more food. I then concluded that these were without a doubt the greediest, meanest, shelfish-est…whatever; the point is these people were scum.
…But then again….Master was trying to help them in the first place; maybe their PATHETIC human minds were just realizing that.
Master was indeed plagued by doubt as well, but as soon as Sam gave him the puppy dog eyes he caved in.
Wow, this is the longest chapter I've ever written; it's a little more than 5 pages long. … I just realized how pathetic that is XD. I'm really truly sorry for not updating earlier, but I kinda lost my inspiration for a while there. Doesn't that happen to every one? It also doesn't help that I lost my copy of CWaCoM and only recently found it, and that my computer screen broke and my AMAZING mom just got me a new setup (thanx mom!).