Disclaimer-I don't own Harry Potter, or Nagini would be a cat.

Voldemort looked at the packages in front of him. It was his birthday, and a few owls came to drop of gifts.

Voldemort opened the first one to see a fluffy white kitten. There was a note. All of the good Dark Lords or rather, Evil Villains, need to have a cat to stroke while plotting evilly. The note said, and was signed, Harry.

The next box held a fake scar kit. All of the nasty evil people have some kind of big scar and a good story to go with. Once more, signed, Harry.

The next box held keys. All evil Villains need a lair. You don't have one, just random places you hang out. You don't even have a mansion. To make things even, Voldemort's lair is at the end of the line.

Voldemort frowned when he realized that he had an evil lair, that Harry was the secret keeper for. That's just not fair.

The last box had a cellphone, with Harry's number saved.

Voldemort dialed it cautiously. Harry answered on the second ring. "Hello? I didn't expect your call for months. Just so you know, my birthday's the end of July. So, you've got to figure out what to get me."

"What are you talking about?"

It sounded like Harry pouted. "I'm the only one to remember your birthday. You should remember mine."

Voldemort frowned. "Fine. I'll kill your relatives for your birthday."

"Sounds good!" Harry said, and Voldemort's frown deepened. "Potter?" he said, only to realize Harry'd hung up.

Voldemort looked at his lackey's in shock. "Who knows anything about Harry Potter?"

The Death Eaters looked at each other, then Lucius stepped up. "The boy is infuriating, at best."

Voldemort nodded. "I know."