A/N: Here we go! I'm not exactly sure if this is really funny, so if it is, (or if it isn't,) please review and tell me what you think. This is my first shot at a humor fic.
DISCLAIMER: It's probably a good thing I don't own Naruto. I'd make them do evil, sick things. :D
"...Goodnight then, Hyuuga-san." she murmured in the darkness.
"...Goodnight, Haruno-san." he replied stoically, before rolling over, facing the canvas tent wall.
It was day four on the two week long mission Tsunade had given them.
The objective was very simple, a mere A rank mission, but most of the others were out on their own missions, or recovering. Sakura, who was busy at the hospital hadn't been on a mission in weeks. She was busy training the other day when she was summoned by her Shishou.
"Sakura! Bring Hyuuga Neji here at once!" she ordered sharply, taking a swig from a bottle of sake.
At first, Sakura thought she summoned Neji because he was the only jounin that wasn't in hospital, Akatsuki tracking missions, or leading their own genin squads. It hadn't occurred to her that she would be on this mission, and he would be accompanying her.
When she had reached the Hyuuga compound, she walked through at a brisk pace, unwilling to keep her Shishou waiting. After asking around at pearly eyed ninja, she found him meditating under an oak tree in one of the training grounds exclusive to Hyuuga clan members.
She walked up to him, knowing that he already detected her presence, but still chose to not open his eyes.
"Hyuuga-san." she addressed him formally.
He looked up, and relaxed out of his meditation pose. His white eyes held the tiniest bit of curiosity. "What can I do for you, Haruno-san?" he asked quietly.
"Tsunade-sama has summoned you. I expect it is for another mission." she explained, glancing at the hokage tower.
Sensing her impatience, he smirked before standing up in one fluid movement.
"Well, let's not keep her waiting for long then."
He walked out, leading the way to the tower.
Sakura lay in uncomfortable silence in his tent.
After having to drop her bag after a rogue ninja from mist that had chased them earlier today, she no longer had any clothes other than the clothes on her back, no weapons other than the few kunai and shuriken she strapped around her leg, and no bedroll. No separate tent. The tents were extremely small, only meant for one comfortably, or two at the very most. They were so close together, that their legs were brushing each other. It was too cold, but mostly too dangerous to sleep outside alone, and Neji wasn't letting her sleep outside anyway. One bedroll, one tent, one blanket, one pillow.
Yes. Things were a little awkward between them.
It felt like hours - the tense silence that said that neither of them had fallen asleep. No sound filled the air, nothing but the quiet breathing between both of them. He knew that she was still awake - her breathing too shallow, her posture too fixed. And he knew that she could tell that he was not asleep yet either.
But they both pretended - in that dark tent, where it was so dark, that you could hold your hand up to your face and still not see even a shadow.
After the first three hours, she was the first to succumb. She yawned tiredly, and rolled onto her side. Her breathing evened out, and he could feel the calm, blue chakra radiating from her relaxed muscles.
"Mmm.." she sighed, tossing restlessly again.
He envied how she had finally fallen asleep. He knew that they would be leaving early the next morning, and wanted to get as much sleep as possible. Activating the byakugan, he searched for the moon, and by its position, could tell it was about one or two in the morning.
He released the kekkai genkai, and shifted uncomfortably in the bedroll. He rolled so he was facing her, and watched as a random beam of moonlight illuminated her tranquil features. He tried to concentrate on her even breathing, but became distracted by a lock of her pink hair drifting in time with her breathing as she inhaled, and exhaled. She was quite pretty, he decided, at least when she was sleeping. When she was awake, and that fierce look crossed her eyes, 'pretty' probably wasn't the most denoting term.
Another half hour passed, and Neji became increasingly irritated with himself. He just wanted at least an hour of sleep. He didn't want to make a careless mistake tomorrow.
What if it's me that loses the bedroll? Sakura will call me careless. And I can't have that on my pride.
He tried counting sheep, strategising battle layouts, laying completely still and not opening his eyes. Nothing seemed to work. He even contemplated waking her up so she could use her medical jutsu to put him to sleep, but he feared the annoyance she would feel thanks to him, and...for the most part, he was simply too embarrassed to have to wake her up and actually ask for her assistance.
Yes. Her even breathing was becoming more irking than calming at this stage.
He tossed again, a scowl openly displayed on his face, and turned away from her, facing the side of the tent. He tried to clear his mind, and resume the meditation routine he usually did before and after training. He was pleased when his mind slowly, slowly sunk into a semi-conscious state when-
Did she just laugh in her sleep?
It was a small sound. Just a little change in breathing, a little huffing noise. Neji considered ignoring it, but now he was back where he started - fully conscious.
"Damn it!" he whispered irritably.
Minutes passed, and Neji began to drift to sleep again. His mind swam into oblivion contentedly, but of course, something just had to ruin it.
Sakura let out a high pitched girly giggle at the same time Neji let out a frustrated groan. At this rate, he would get about the same amount of sleep as Chouji would willingly eat diet food.
And as if it couldn't get any worse...
Her arms wrapped themselves around his waist.
The arms that clung to his waist drew him tighter, which had Neji having an internal freakout. He didn't want to forcefully push her away, because if she woke up, Kami knew what she would do.
She'd probably...punch me...or start crying and complaining that she wants someone to hold ...or some stupid womanly thing like that.
She was everywhere. Activating the byakugan for the second time that night, his eyes rolled to see through the back of his head. He saw her snuggling her face into his back, a flirty grin on her face. She giggled again, snuggling her face deeper, nestling herself into his hair.
What the hell am I supposed to do?
He tried wiggling out of her grasp, but the tenacious grip she had on him was astoundingly strong. He felt utterly trapped - there was no escape. He decided that he would just wait until she rolled off him or something. But then she started to talk, immediately halting any thoughts he was currently having.
"...Mmmm...Neji-kun..." she giggled, eyes closed.
His eyes widened, and he had to bite back a smirk as he realised she was dreaming about him. Indeed, in her sleep she was a different person. More... Feminine.
Neji...kun? What happened to Hyuuga-san?
"...Neji...kun...Your hair ... It smells like... tea." she mumbled, a stupid grin on her face.
He paused while she giggled again, kicking her feet under the covers.
Lee is not going to believe this.
"But...it's not like that icky jasmine tea...It tastes like flowers. I... I like... Green tea. You like...tea, ne...Neji-kun?"
He didn't answer - too thoroughly bewildered to form a coherent sentence. But then she began to whine, and he knew he had to say something soon.
"Neji-kuuuuun! Answer meee!" she pouted, sleepily slapping his shoulder in a very Ino-like fashion.
"Um...Hai, Haru- um, Sa-Sakura-chan. I like ...eh...tea." he whispered awkwardly.
He didn't know why he was playing along. It was completely out of character. He knew that behind his back, everyone referred to him as 'the rock', someone who had about the same emotion as Sabaku no Gaara. Or...well, a rock.
But she was asleep, and he wasn't. Maybe this would pass the time. It was kinda...cute, he grudgingly admitted, Sakura - Konoha's best medic nin turned out to be a sleep talker, and one with a completely different personality at that. It was like she hid a different persona in her mind, and this new girl was coming out to play when she slept.
Like...an inner Sakura?
Inner Sakura... It seemed plausible.
But then she whined again, snapping him back to focus.
"Do you like the ...flower water tea?" she asked, a disgruntled look on her face.
He decided he would just play along. This was too interesting of an opportunity to miss, and she probably wouldn't remember it in the morning. It wasn't as though he was hurting her, or she was hurting him, but still, he was hyperaware of her arms snaking around his waist that drew him closer every second.
He remembered that she just asked him a question, and hurriedly answered her. "Hai, Sakura-chan. I love Jasmine tea."
She didn't respond, except for a light snore that momentarily confused Neji. He exhaled cautiously, thinking maybe she had drifted back into a deeper sleep and forgotten about him. He moved stealthily, careful to not jostle her, and slowly took hold of her arms. He silently, gradually, began to move her arms back on her side of the tent, away from his waist when suddenly-
"But Neji-kuuuuuuuuuuuuuunn!" she complained, pulling at his robe in annoyance. He sighed in defeat when her arms sprung out like constricting vines to solder his waist to hers again.
"What is it, Sakura-chan?" he asked weakly, as he felt her fingers play with the hem of his robe.
"Flowers need to grow! Not to...be taken..and flower ...drink...zzzzzz" she trailed off, wandering back to sleep. Her grip relaxed slightly again, but he didn't try to remove them. It would only take a matter of time...
Wait for it...
"Mmm.. Like that tea house in... rice country that we went to. With Sai-kun. And... Naruto-baka." she explained animatedly, except for her eyes, which stayed shut the whole time, her pupils moving rapidly under the lids.
Neji raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Naruto-baka?"
This time it was Neji's turn to bite back the giggles.
He turned around, so he was facing her. It was a pretty remarkable feat, considering she was still holding him tight against her chest. When he spoke next, he was careful to watch her face, curious to see how the passing emotions came and went.
"Ano, Sakura-chan?" he murmured when he got his breath back.
"YO!" she huffed, suddenly saluting in her sleep, whacking Neji in the face.
Okay. Bad idea.
He rubbed his jaw for a moment, unsure whether to laugh or be annoyed. "Are you awake?" he asked gruffly.
"Yes...Of course I'm - NARUTO, THAT'S NEJI'S TEA, BAKA! FLOWER-" she screamed, flailing wildly.
Neji wrapped his arms around her thrashing body, and attempted to restrain her, stifling another violent fit of laughter.
And just like that, she went limp, snoring softly.
Neji had to give it to her - she must've had some insane dreams. She breathed quietly in his grasp. They were pretty much holding each other now - her arms never relenting the tight hold on his waist, and his arms wrapped around her whole upper body like a sushi roll. She was so close he could feel her breath on his collarbone.
And just when he thought she'd finally fallen asleep -
"Ano, Neji-chan..." she drawled, pouting unconsciously in her sleep.
"Hai, Sakura-chan?" he questioned, wondering what she could be asking this time.
"Are...you gay?" she asked, with a look of complete seriousness.
For the first time, after hearing everything she said, he felt a stab of genuine irritation.
"No, you crazy little girl. I'm not gay." he huffed with the trademark Hyuuga pride.
"Then...how come you're so...asexual? I mean, Ino-pig and Tenten-chan - aish, even Hinata-chan admitted you're really-" she yawned.
"I am not." he said indignantly.
"PSH!" she exhaled loudly.
"I assure you, Sakura-chan. I am not gay." he replied, frowning.
"Hn...PROVE it then, Neji-chaaaaan." she tested.
He didn't think about what he did next.
He grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her deeply. This wasn't his first kiss, so he had an idea of what he was doing. He caressed her lips gently, and marvelled at how soft her skin was. She tasted faintly of bubblegum toothpaste - a guilty pleasure, he was guessing.
He released her lips, but still held her body close against his.
"There. I'm not gay." He smirked.
To his utter frustration, she released her grip on his waist in one swift movement. She tried to roll over, and made a strange wailing noise until he let go of her figure too. She sighed and snored softly again, mumbling in her sleep.
Groaning, he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling of the tent. He had no idea how he was going to fall asleep now.
"Ano, Neji-kun..." she murmured in the dark.
"Yes?" he asked exasperatedly, rolling his eyes.
"Your lips taste like tea as well."
He paused for a second, undecided on how to react.
But then he just grinned into his pillow.
He awoke to the familiar aroma of morning tea brewing outside the tent. Glancing beside him, he noticed she was already gone, and had woken up before him. He laid back for a few minutes thinking of what happened last night.
Did that...really happen?
He thought about the way she talked to him, flirtatious and cute, down to the skin-tight grip she had on his waist, and the way she provoked him into kissing her.
Shit...what if she remembers and acts all weird? Damn it..
Refusing to contemplate anymore, he knelt and dressed as quick as possible. He panicked for a moment when he couldn't find the tie that usually held his hair back, but disregarded it and unzipped the tent to find Sakura sitting on a log, brewing a saucepan full of tea.
"Good morning, Hyuuga-san. Would you like some tea?" she asked pleasantly, no trace of the girl she was last night. It was sort of disappointing to hear her go back to the more formal honorific of Hyuuga-san, like a wake up call back to their mission.
But it was a little ironic. After last night's discussion about tea, and now...
"Not Jasmine tea." he replied, barely able to keep a straight face.
She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Really? I don't like Jasmine tea either. It tastes like-"
"Flowers?" he questioned.
She had another surprised look on her features. He ignored her and sat next her on the log, accepting the cup of tea, with a quiet thank you.
They drank in silence for a second, but Neji's mind was still reeling over last night. The way that he kissed her was...pleasant to say the least, but now it was almost a disappointment that she didn't remember anything.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked her quietly, unable to keep the smirk off his face.
"Yes, thank you." she replied shortly. She raised an eyebrow curiously at his smug grin, and it was apparent that she really didn't remember anything.
He looked back at her in the middle of a swig of tea, and she caught his eye. She speculated him as if to say, what?
Neji had to turn around as fast as he could to spit out the mouthful of liquid or he would've started choking from laughing with tea in his mouth.
He found his hair binder.
It was tangled in hers.
She watched in bewilderment as he fell to the ground laughing, and in the process spilling his tea all over his chest.
Okay guys. I gave you what you want. You know what I want in return.
Any suggestions, or requests, just PM me, and I'll see if I can get around to it.
I LOVE YOU, OH SO WONDERFUL READER!