Yet another KHR fic. It's about the Arcobalenos. Again. Because I love those guys to bits.
Character/ Pairing: Colonnello/ Lal Mirch
Warnings: Failed attempt at a familial Arcobaleno set-up.
Disclaimer: Nope. Nada. Zilch.
Hell Hath No Fury
Lal growled angrily, slamming the door to the training room with such contempt that all the members of L'Prescetla Sette, even Verde, who had to stop his machinations and look, immediately came running downstairs to witness the Rain Arcobaleno's desecration of the training room. None of them had ever seen Lal so enraged. Sure, she got annoyed with Skull's incessant whining, got exasperated at Reborn's smug remarks, got wound up by Verde's lack of concern, hell; she even got irritated at Viper's avaricious attitude towards everything!
But they surely had never seen her so goddamn pissed off.
Luce called, finding it the right time to interfere as one of the punching bags was blasted to smithereens by the intensity of Lal's punch. As the Arcobaleno boss treaded over the fallen debris, Reborn resisted the urge to stop Luce and allow Lal to go berserk a couple of minutes longer just to see what sort of destruction the COMSUBIN trainer can bring when provoked. It should be more interesting than watching soap commercials to say the least.
"Reborn? Is it really okay to let Luce go? I mean, Lal looks like she wants to kill something…" Skull piped up as they watched Luce make her way over Lal. Her pregnant form wobbling precariously over the rubble.
The hitman scoffed, glaring menacingly at their youngest member. "Who do you think you're talking about, retard? And besides, if something goes wrong, we're here, you idiot."
"I'm just saying!" The stuntman complained, taking a defensive stance.
A firm hand enclosed on each of the pair's shoulder. "Don't start now, you two," Fon said, stepping in between the hitman and the stuntman. "We're still dealing with Lal here."
"I wonder what got her so pissed off," mused Verde as he leaned against the doorway. "Well, we'll see, won't we?" The scientist stated confidently, stifling a yawn.
"The repairs are going to cost a lot…" Viper muttered, surveying the room in a contemplating manner.
All of them watched as the scenario slowly unfolded. This particular set-up had the potential to be quite entertaining and worth missing an episode of CSI for.
Luce frowned worriedly, stepping over what looked like the remains of a solid steel counter. Her motherly instincts were kicking in and she mentally swore that she will personally make sure that whatever was causing Lal to act this way will suffer a cruel and most painful death.
Walking over to the clearing where the raven-haired woman seemed to be gathering her composure, Luce sat down at a nearby bench that the trainer had failed to obliterate and waited.
"I'm sorry about the mess; I'll clean it up later…" Lal trailed off, fishing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. "I'll be in my ro—"
It wasn't a request, it wasn't an order, it was a statement and it was said with such power that Lal had to fight don the urge to perform a three-volley salute. She looked away and sauntered over to where Luce was sitting and sat down reluctantly next to the pregnant woman.
Luce gave her a strict look, "I don't quite believe that 'nothing' will cause you to act this way." At this, she motioned to the shambles that was once the training room.
Lal faltered and threw Luce a bashful gaze, wringing her hands in embarrassment, as she took in the serious damage she'd caused during her earlier rampage.
"I'm really, really sorry"
"It's fine. All of us have the right to get angry at times. You do know that you can always talk to me, talk to us, about anything, right?"
The trainer chose not to express her doubts about the 'talk to us' part, and gave the Sky Arcobaleno a nod and a smile. Talking to Luce occasionally, she can understand but to the others, well…not so much. She had enough on her plate already and she was not going to incur severe brain damage to herself for talking to the other Arcobaleno.
A frown. A sigh. This was still Luce that she was dealing with.
"Luce…do you think I'm…well…that is…"Lal flustered, bringing her knees up and holding them close to her person.
"Am I lady-like enough?" The Rain Arcobaleno blurted out.
"I beg your pardon?" Luce asked, a bit rattled by Lal's sudden outburst. Had she heard correctly? Did Lal just ask that question? Really? This isn't just one of Viper's illusions, is it? Luce remained silent for a moment, carefully deliberating what Lal had just said; she also remembered that Viper wouldn't really do anything unless paid so illusions were out of the question. So that left her hearing ability…
Blushing to the roots of her hair, Lal bowed her head and restated her declaration carefully. "I want to know if I'm lady-like enough…" She muttered something under her breath and added softly, "am I?"
Luce's eyes softened and she offered the younger woman a gentle smile, placing a hand over Lal's "of course you a—"
It was at this exact moment in time that the remaining Arcobaleno found it prudent to make their seemingly forgotten presence known to the pair. As Reborn, the ever sensitive person that he was, started to laugh; quite boisterously at that. And apparently, the hitman's shocking laughter was rather infectious as Skull and Verde joined him. Even Fon had to fight off a small grin. The only one who seemed unaffected about the whole ordeal was Viper.
(And well, the illusionist was already an exception within an exception, so no surprise there.)
"Ahaha—shit, this is funnier than—haha"
"Hah! Fuck, haha…" At this, the well respected hitman stilled to catch his breath.
"Ahaha—something wrong, Luce?" The Sun Arcobaleno broke into another fit of incredulous giggles as his gaze fell on Lal. He shook his head, Lal, lady-like? This turned out to be better than what he had anticipated; he sincerely hoped that the surveillance cameras were still working…
"What's so funny, Hitman-san?" Luce inquired sweetly, a dangerous glint on her eyes, as she treaded her way over to the small huddle at the entryway, a definite aura of doom following each dainty step.
'Oh crap', was pretty much the unanimous reaction that Skull, Verde, and Fon shared. No one, I repeat no one, wanted a pissed Luce going after their asses. Being 'immortal' won't keep Luce away, nor will any form of equation solve their problem, and running around would probably just incite a heavier wrath. But of course, Reborn, proud bastard that he was, stood his ground firmly, lips twisting into an arrogant smirk.
Reborn held her gaze, crossing his arms and raising a thin eyebrow, as if in a challenge.
"What do you think?" The Sun Arcobaleno declared cheekily.
Needless to say, it wasn't the answer that Luce wanted.
And you're out!
"Viper, dear? Can you please stop worrying over the cost of repairs? I promise that it will have no effect on your bank account whatsoever." Luce called out, casting the illusionist a beseeching look.
The Mist Arcobaleno turned towards Luce and grudgingly grounded out a "fine" through clenched teeth. Luce sighed and rubbed her bulging stomach affectionately, she may still be quite far from giving birth to her first child but she already felt like a very exasperated and tired mother when dealing with the other (younger and not-so younger) members of L'Prescetla Sette. She shook her head and looked around the table where they were all gathered (with the exception of Lal).
Her gaze settled on a certain dark-haired assassin.
"Reborn, please stop rubbing your cheek, you'll only make it worse that way."
Reborn threw her a look that clearly said, 'Whose fault do you think that is?'
Her eyes widened just a fraction.
Why that little—!
"Can we go back to our lives now, Luce?"
Verde queried nonchalantly with a hint of veiled sarcasm, effectively halting the pregnant woman who was on the verge of saying something to Reborn. As wary as he was of Luce and her pregnant woman mood swings and inhumane hormonal strength, Verde had experiments and scientific breakthroughs waiting to be finished and realized and he did not have time to sit here idly to have some 'family bonding time' with the other misfits of the mafia or whatever they were considered a part of.
And he most certainly did not have time to watch an old married couple bicker with each other. He's had enough of Skull and his Thursday night Soap Opera marathons, thankyouverymuch.
Luce paused and looked at the scientist with an unreadable expression on her face.
And then she smiled.
"Should I take that as a yes?" No matter how brilliant he was, and he was abso-fucking-lutely brilliant. Verde wasn't a mind-reader and he especially did not get women.
Most especially Luce.
Most especially a very pregnant Luce.
"No." The Giglio Nero boss answered airily, pouring herself some juice.
Verde raised an eyebrow, hand clenching slightly on his coffee mug. "Excuse me?"
"No one is going to leave this table until we figure out why Lal is upset." Luce declared with finality and all planned retorts died simultaneously in everyone's respectable throats when she used that voice. Even Skull had decided to actually just sit down and shut up and not do or say something very stupid and potentially harmful (which is a very amazing feat, mind you).
It was common knowledge in the household that when Luce was in one of her 'scary pregnant woman' mood swings, it would be of best interest to just go along with everything she says. Because 'no' wasn't an option and it would be pretty much suicidal to try and even leave the house, or for this matter, the dining area. (Even standing up from your seat and moving at least twelve inches from the table is a no-no.)
Silence pervaded the spacious dining area after the Sky Arcobaleno's declaration.
(Since no one really wanted to talk about their lives and really, they weren't on Oprah or anything. And the biscotti and chocolate-chip cookies were really good that even Reborn took one willingly whilst moodily rubbing at his sore cheek.)
"May I say something?" Fon inquired good-naturedly, directing a gaze towards Luce.
The Storm Arcobaleno breathed in deeply, closing his eyes momentarily before taking a sip of his steaming macha. "It would be safe to presume that Lal has an issue with her femininity." The Chinese man said clearly, swirling the contents of his cup before setting it down soundlessly on the table.
Blank stares met Fon's statement.
Until Skull almost choked on air. Almost. Because Reborn had taken the liberty to whack him harshly on the back in a pseudo attempt to help him, or rather, deliver him from his misery.
"Well, yes. Thank you, Fon." The Sky Arcobaleno said lightly as she took a muffin from the basket.
Verde rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I think we've already established that fact, now if someone could figure out why Lal decided to destroy the training room. That would be greatly appreciated."
"I don't understand why Lal's so concerned about her…femininity." Viper mumbled over a cookie.
"Of course you wouldn't understand. You're asexual."
The illusionist frowned, or maybe not, no one could really tell, as the pile of baked goods on the basket steadily disappeared and ended up inside Viper's mouth. "Just because you don't know what my gender is, does not mean I'm asexual."
"Why would I even want to know what your gender is?" The scientist asked indignantly.
"You're the one who's sneaking around my room trying to look for clues as to whether I'm male or female, Verde. So ask yourself that question. I would have gladly told you what my gender is had you just asked and paid." The cloaked illusionist quipped liltingly, critically examining the choco-mint cookie recently plucked from the basket.
"You—" Verde started.
"Stop the love fest, you two," Reborn drawled, having stopped rubbing his cheek and was now smirking over his cup of espresso. "We're here to talk about Lal and not try to find out what Viper's gender is."
"What's so interesting about Viper's gender anyway?" Skull laughingly inquired, apparently waking up from his silent spell.
Verde's left eye twitched in annoyance, he shot Reborn, Viper and Skull a contemptuous glare and crossed his arms over his chest in sheer irritation. Simpletons…of course you wouldn't understand, you're all idiots.
Reborn snorted, setting his cup on the table. "Now since none of you are actually contributing, I might as well."
"Yes, Reborn?" Luce queried flippantly with a smile playing on her lips.
"Lal's upset because of that student of hers."
"The blond idiot who always goes 'kora', I think his name's Colonello."
"Oh! Colonello-kun!" Luce exclaimed in sudden realization, bright blue eyes twinkling in ill-supressed delight. "Now that explains everything!" She continues, a wide grin unfurling on her lips.
The rest of the Arcobalenos shared dubious looks, not exactly certain as to what was going on inside Luce's mind at the moment. And quite frankly, they weren't that keen on knowing what sick and twisted conclusion—
"Lal's in love with Colonello-kun!"
—Luce was going to come up with. Just like that one.
Several things happened at once after Luce's excited generalization.
Reborn choked on his espresso.
Verde broke his mug.
Fon spat out his tea.
Viper choked on biscotti.
Skull fell out of his chair.
And somewhere in the dim recesses of her room, Lal sneezed and shivered as she felt a definite aura of doom and foreboding wash over her.
Something bad is going to happen.
To be continued
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