Disclaimer: i don't own hetalia. hahaha

k, i feel like such a horrible person... so you guys really i am sorry in advance, and i feel your pain... please review!

Vancouver, Canada

The room was dark. But that was okay, really it was—the darkness didn't scare him that much. What he really feared was him. Hopefully he wouldn't find him here. Honestly… Matt loved his caretaker, but that love was slowly becoming something different for the other man. Something that the child wasn't able to handle. He knew that the man wasn't his real father, and when the said man was drunk-as he was now- it was apparent the other man knew it as well. This would be the first time though that Mathew was actually afraid something bad might happen.

His father had come home with that awful scent of wine on him. He was drunker than usual this night.

On the first night this had happened, he sat down with Matthew and talked to him about his mother, who had left when Matt was too little to remember, she had taken Matthew's brother. When the younger boy asked a question the man never answered, instead he suddenly started kissing him. That was the night the child stopped asking questions. But it still continued. Worse. But his father would always apologize afterward. But that didn't stop the fact that it had happened… And tonight—


no. no. no. no. NO! The silent tears slipped down the young boy's face as he tried to choke back the sobs. Tonight things were looking terrible for him. the older man WANTED him. It was something that Matt just couldn't wrap his mind around. But he knew that he was scared, and that this… shouldn't be happening.

The footsteps grew louder as he neared the closet that Mathew was hiding in. the child held his breath, willing him to just pass by. To go to bed, to stop looking for me

The door opened.


"oh! Mattie…Why are you crying? Come here." I don't want to. Matthew shook his head and tried to push himself farther against the wall, wishing that it would just swallow him up. Better it than the large man in front of him.

"Oh come on love, daddy will make it better." You'll make it worse. NO don't want you here. Please. Please. Just go… but he allowed himself to be picked up by the older man because he knew that resisting would just make things worse.

If that is even possible

He big man carried Matthew into his bedroom and sat him down on the bed. The small boy closed his eyes as the tears were wiped from his face. As if the other man could just wipe away the fact that Matt at even been crying…

"Aleshia…" mother's name was spoken. It had begun.

The man was at the stage where he forgot that Matthew was his son. His eyes were glossed over with the wine induced lust. This was the horrible part where he would start to stroke the child's hair, whispering that he really did love her. That he wanted her to come back to him… "I love you." Lips pressed against Matthews and the instinct to fight kicked in. he tried to pull back-though he had learned that it was a bad idea- his lips were forces apart and he lay on his back, with the hot tears slipping down his face.

Go to your happy place…

Happy place…


The sweaty hand slid under his shirt and he jerked backwards. NO! He bit down on the man's tongue and clawed at his back. This was going too far.

"stop…" He whimpered. The other man didn't hear and continued to trail kissed down his neck hands slipping into places that…they shouldn't be… Matthew's back arched as he cried out again, biting his lip to stop the sobs that wanted to come up.

"I love you." If you loved me you'd stop… his shirt was gone and the older man worked on his pants. Why? Why did life have to be like this? And all of his clothes were gone. For a brief moment Mathew was free. He kicked and screamed as the older man stripped off his clothes. He hated how weak he was! The man was holding him down with one hand and yet he still could not escape! He continued to whisper comforting words, and kissed Matt again. And again. And…and…

Mathew's face was hot, his body was hot. It hurt.

"stop!" he sobbed. The man continued, seeming not to hear the child crying. The world turned into a blur. And if there was a god, for that moment Matthew hated him…

if his little body was even capable of that emotion. He wanted to curl up in a corner and die. Anything would be better th

"ahh!" The tears flooded down his face, his fists clinching tightly on the sheets of the bed. The other man's hot stinking breath in his face made him want to throw up. Or maybe it was the sheer reality of what was happening right now.

Yes…right now Matthew hated the man who he had called father. He hated the woman who he had been told was his mother for taking his brother and forgetting about him. everyone forgot about him… he was invisible… even to his father. The older man simply saw him as the shadow of his wife. Like she was still with him.

But she isn't

"daddy! Please!" he sobbed, twisting his body away from the drunk, his cry was cut off by the kissing. It was a horrible thing to have someone else inside of you. And right now, every part of Matthew was taken up by this horrible man.

It wasn't long before his body was numb and his mind had shut down. How much time had passed? It seemed like hours. He just lay there crying.

"daddy…stop…" he sobbed over and over. Until suddenly…

The world went still, and the older man's wide eyes met his as he came into realization of what he had done… His mouth agape as he stared down at the crying child he had just…

His son…

"Mattie…" the older man moved away swiftly and Matt instantly curled himself into a ball.

His body ached. Life wasn't fair. He closed his eyes and bit his lip to keep the sobs back but his naked body still shook. The pain, anger, embarrassment, and sadness, everything just made the child just want to curl in a hole and die. But he just lay there letting the silent sobs shake him to his core. He felt broken.

Like I can never be fixed…I'm broken…

The older man watched his son's small bruised white body tremble in horror. How many times had the child cried out for him to stop? He felt sick. This wasn't something that he could apologize for.

He just raped his son.

The moment of horror for the man was like heaven for the child. He was done with him. it was over. And Matthew found himself slipping into a sleepy spell.

The child awoke to a putrid stench. He sat up quickly, feeling the pain course though his body. He looked down in horror at the red bruises dotting his white figure, the events of the night rushing back to him. he felt sick.

As the bile rose in his throat he slid quickly off the bed to run to the bathroom, but as his feet his the floor they sunk into a cool liquid that soaked the floor. He looked down in an attempt to figure out what he had stepped in.


The red velvet blood of his father dyed the rug a rusty crimson. The boy's wide indigo eyes continued to roam until they found him.

"daddy…" he choked as the bile came out and the threw up.

His father had killed himself.

DUN-DUN-DA-DA! i know. poor Matt! i do love him with all my heart and feel like such a terrible person right now. but this idea just came into my head and... i promise that i will make up for it~! next chapters will be about his teenage life! i really am curious though, how did this make you feel? I'm doing a study in school about human nature and would LOVE to know your reactions!