The REALLY BIG (emphasis here/very lame pun) problem of Nekomura Iroha
"Everyone, I'm back from the laboratory!" Megurine Luka called to the numerous inhabitants of the Vocaloid household. "And I brought our new little sister, Nekomura Iroha, with me!"
At this exciting news, the whole shook (literally shook) with the footsteps of a thousand (it sure sounded like it) Vocaloids.
Rin was first to meet their new sister. She slid down the banister expertly. Len ran behind her, taking the stairs three at a time, shouting something like "Don't do that, Rin, you'll fall and break your arm again!" But his true words were lost amidst the din of the other stampeding family members.
"Don't be boring, LenLen! Nyah!" Rin stuck out her tongue.
The blonde landed expertly on the floor, with the grace of a gymnast, and then stuck out her hand at the tiny girl who was Iroha.
Iroha took Rin's hands hesitantly, and Rin began to shake it so violently the poor girl's fingers nearly broke off.
"Hi, Iroha-chan!~" beamed Rin. "I'm Kagamine Rin! You can call me Rin-chan! Teehe!"
"U-um… Thank you…"
When Iroha finally got her hand back from Rin's over-enthusiastic greeting, the fingers were purplish-blue.
Len reached Iroha a few seconds after Rin, and gave her a comforting smile.
"Hello, Iroha-san. I'm Kagamine Len, this idiot's-" he pointed at Rin "-younger brother. It's nice to meet you."
"N-nice to meet you too…"
"I'm not an idiot, I'm not!" Rin squeaked indignantly, her voice completely overpowering Iroha's own. She thumped Len in the back of the head. "Don't listen to him, he LIES! He sleeps with girls and then LEAVES them!"
"Don't do that!" Len snapped back. "And that was only in, like ONE SONG! Don't base your entire perception of me in ONE SONG!"
"Oh yes~" Rin began to snicker evilly. "Of course. How could I forget? In the rest of your songs you're some adorable delicious shota-boy whom Kaito has his own dirty way with, right?"
A blush spread across Len's cheeks, red as a rather red apple.
"T-that's not…" He was stuttering. "T-that's…"
"HA!" Rin said triumphantly, jabbing a finger in Len's face. "I, like, so totally owned you it's not funny!"
Mid-way through the Kagamines' argument, Miku popped her head round the kitchen door, accompanied by Gumi and Miki. When she saw Iroha, her eyes lit up.
"Ooh! Iroha-chan!~ You're so cute and small! That's strange, 'cause I thought you'd be older- your voice was so deep! But this is amazing-awesome too!" Miku gushed, rushing forwards to give the new Vocaloid a hug.
"U-um… T-thank you…" said Iroha softly.
It was a mark of how polite she was that she did not flinch away from Miku in horror. The twin-tailed idol looked more batshit insane than gorgeous and glamorous at that moment. Her face and hands were covered in flour, her apron was caked in multi-colored baking ingredients, her hair was messy, and she was holding a spatula.
When Iroha drew away from Miku, she was left with a peculiar smell in her nose.
It was like baking cookies…
"I'm sorry I'm dressed in such a peculiar way!~" said Miku, with a laugh. "I was just making cookies with Miki-chan and Gumi-chan."
"Leek-flavoured cookies!" said Gumi.
A shadow passed across Iroha's face.
"Yeah, you should try some," said Miki. "They're, like, uber tasty."
"If you like having your stomach pumped, of course," said Meiko.
Iroha jumped at the red-clad woman's sudden arrival. Amidst all the chaos, she hadn't noticed her coming in through the front door. Kaito was trailing behind her, laden with shopping bags. Meiko had firm hold of his scarf, and was dragging him along like a dog on a leash.
"Miku, you haven't been cooking in my kitchen without permission again, have you?" said Meiko darkly.
Even though she was stood still, she was still tugging on Kaito's scarf, causing the blue-haired Vocaloid to overbalance and very nearly fall into Len (who began blushing profusely. Rin laughed).
"Well~" Miku gave a nervous laugh, and began to rub the back of her head. "I thought I'd make Iroha-chan a treat, 'cause she's new…"
"You mean you're actively attempting to poison your new sister?"
"No! No, no, no!" said Gumi, shaking her head. "Just… Enlighten her? Show her our culinary expertise?"
"Poison her, you mean," said Lily, rolling her eyes.
The blonde haired girl had emerged from… some room, somewhere… with a wii remote in one hand, smirk on her face.
"Lily-chan, not you too!" Miku whined. "Why are you being so mean?"
"Because your cooking sucks," said Lily bluntly. She turned to Iroha and said, in a conspiratorial whisper, "she made me sample those cookies when I first arrived, too. Even now, I have nightmares about it…" She shuddered. "Just horrible."
"H-hey!" Miku pouted, her mouth a small v of disappointment. "Don't say such cruel things, Lily-"
"Lily-onee-chan! Aren't you going to finish playing with me?" asked Kaai Yuki, holding a wii remote like Lily's.
"Ah, sorry, Yuki-chan. I'll be there in a sec," said Lily apologetically. "Just saying hi to the new family member."
"Ooh~" Yuki turned to Iroha, and smiled a gap-toothed, grade student smile. "Hi! Nice to meet you!"
But before Iroha could reply, she was swept- literally swept- off her feet by another newcomer.
"Eee! You're so cute and small and huggable and OH EM GEE!" squealed Teto excitably, squishing her captive in the middle. As Teto jumped about, so did her twin drills; they bounced up and down in a hypnotic rhythm.
For the first time, Iroha learnt what being nauseous felt like.
"Maybe you should put her down, Teto-san," said Mizki in her tranquil, serene voice. "She looks ill."
"Yes. This might all have been a bit of a shock for her," said Kiyoteru wisely, adjusting his glasses. "Maybe we should be gentle with her."
"Gentle?" cried Gakupo indignantly. "You cannot afford to be gentle with children in this day and age! To be self-reliant and strong! That is the way of the samurai! The true path to honor! The only way! The man's-"
Luka sighed, turned round, and punched him square in the face.
Iroha could only stare in horror, still suspended a foot in the air by a freakishly strong Teto.
"Sorry about that," said Luka, with a pleasant smile. "He gets like that sometimes."
"I-I kind of feel sorry for him, though…" said Haku softly.
"What?" exclaimed Neru, snorting. "That idiot? Yeah, right." She rolled her eyes, and took out her yellow, shiny new camera phone. "This is sooo going on Facebook. Hahaha!"
"Ooh, I know!" said Teto, suddenly letting go of Iroha (thankfully, she landed on two feet, like a cat) to get out her own cell phone. "I should call all my friends! Like Ruko and Tei and Momo and Defoko and Luna and Yufu and Nene Nene and Ritsu and Ooka Miko and-"
"No," said Kiyoteru, shaking his head. "All your UTAU friends may scare her to death."
"This is a strict Vocaloid only meeting," said Luka. "Apart from Teto, who is our honorary utau. And Neru and Haku, because nobody knows what the hell they are anyway."
"But, what about all those?" asked Miku, pointing to a nearby garden.
On the lawn outside, was a small gathering of Vocaloids; Sweet Ann, Prima, Leon, Lola, Big Al, Miriam, Tonio and Sonika.
"Hi, everyone!~" beamed Leon, waving. "We thought we'd come over and check out how our international cousins are doing!~"
"Did you miss us? Teehee!" beamed Sonika and Sweet Ann in unison.
The shock was, frankly, too much for Nekomura Iroha to take.
She fainted on the spot.
"Oh…" said Miku sadly, looking at the fallen girl. "It's such a shame. She didn't get to meet Dell, Mikuo, Kaiko, Meito, Luki, Akaito, Taito, Kikaito, Nigaito, Aku-san, Hazure-san, Zatsune-san, Sai or Kiku Juon yet."
a.n: because I can't help thinking of this every time a new vocaloid arrives. YOUR FAMILY IS GROWING TOO BIG : WHERE WILL YOU ALL LIVE?
I was going to go on and do something like 'where shall she sleep? She can't have the cupboard because Gakupo lives there, and Kaito lives in the dog kennel, and Miki's in the greenhouse, and Mikuo lives in the kitchen sink and Rin lives in the cutlery drawer' but I thought it was a nice place to end it there XD
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT XD
I know, in like a month, this will be outdated and there will be even more vocaloids XDD