My first Warehouse 13 fic-The finale just, you know, hit me in the gut. A punch to my heart, and I'd been fangirling Myka/Helena since she came on and then the finale...Ok. I just. Yeah. Um. Also, I don't own anything, otherwise Myka/Helena would've been (on-screen!)canon.
It's all so very wrong—this wasn't supposed to happen. Helena was supposed to have a Christina-sized hole in her heart, but Myka was supposed to be filling it, and Myka was supposed to laugh with Helena, was supposed to reach out and hold her close. They were supposed to fall into each other (most of my lovers were men) and she was supposed to watch Pete laugh with Kelly while the four of them went on double dates or something.
Except Helena has grief and insanity whirling in her eyes, had its sick sweet taste on her tongue as she slammed the trident into the ground one two times. She lifts the trident to slam it into the ground again, and Myka grasps the gun in her hand. Her hand is cold as it wraps around hers, clammy but it does not shake as she aims the gun to her head.
"Go on—take your gun and shoot me! Kill me now, I mean we're all going to die anyway so do it! " Myka's eyes are wild with desperation, pleading Helena to please please leave the trident alone. "Do it! Look me in the eyes and take my life—if I'm going to die anyway, you do it. You take my life away."
Helena's hand shakes, just a bit, as Myka holds the gun to her forehead. Her finger tightens on the trigger, and Myka's eyes are so very wild as she stares down the barrel of the gun perfectly aimed at the middle of her forehead, as she holds Helena's hand level with her head.
"Come on Helena," Myka whispers, too low for Artie to hear, "I don't want to live if you just betrayed us like that. If you just betray me like that." One tear traced a path down her pale cheek. "I thought I meant more to you than that" she whispers, and there is heartbreak in her voice, like shards of glass cutting her from the inside out.
Something in Helena breaks at Myka's voice, and she gives a frustrated yell, flinging the gun and the trident to the ground and just—gripping the back of Myka's head, tangling her hand into her curls and pulling her into a desperate kiss, her free hand reaching to cradle her cheek. She strokes away Myka's tears and doesn't pull away when Myka fights against her. Finally, Myka gives a strangled sob against Helena's lips, and grips her tight, pulling her closer like it's the last time she'll ever feel the desperate pressure of Helena's lips against her, every please oh please brush of Helena's knee in between her legs, sending fire/heat/want to her entire body, or feel the tender way she brushed every tear away, with a reverent thumb, so very aware that she was the reason for the tears.
"God Helena," Myka mumbles, "I just don't understand—" her breath hitches and she buries her face into Helena's neck, haphazardly tangling her arms around her neck, trying to stave off her tears.
"This is all very touching and all but—" That's Artie, his voice colder then Myka has ever heard it, "I'm sorry Myka, but did you forget that she tried to destroy the world? And she shot me!"
"Technically, you shot yourself." Helena tells him wearily. "Myka, darling, he's right though. There are some lines you do not cross and I almost destroyed Earth—"
"No! No, no Artie—just please. Can't you just." Myka's voice is so desperate, and Artie never thought that this would happen, no to Myka who held everyone at a foot's distance—who ran away from her destiny at the Warehouse and refused all help. Except of course it did, because Myka's been trying to get Helena on the team practically since she met her, and here she is, holding onto Helena like her life depends on it. Myka had gotten dangerously close to Helena, and she had poisoned his shining agent who actually read the rulebook and kept Pete from touching everything—of course it was Myka. Myka is so similar to him, of course she needs her own McPherson. "Artie" she pleads, "Artie, please."
He can't. "Myka, Myka, I'm sorry. I can't." She's a danger to me to Pete to Claudia to Leena, but mostly she's a danger to you. "I'm sorry." He begins to walk towards them, and Myka's arms tighten around Helena, pulling her close.
"Artie" she whispers "Please."
Artie can't help it, he flinches at her voice, hopeless and hopeful, such pain in her gaze but there is so much strength—Myka was truly and well chosen to be a Warehouse agent. He looks away, can't bear to look at her. There is a recourse, of course there is, but it would mean—that would mean Myka would leave. That would mean Pete would be on his own, that Claudia would be the only female agent and—
It would mean that he failed.
He's supposed to be their leader. He tells them where to go, but he also protects them, and letting Myka go would mean he failed in that. It would mean that he tried to keep her safe, but he failed because she left the (relative) safety of the Warehouse for—what. For Helena? What could Helena possible offer to Myka? A warm body on cold nights, or a hand to hold when scared. Laughter maybe, like when they laughed at Pete and how stupid in love he was with Kelly, or maybe Helena would just give Myka grief, like McPherson. There is no way of knowing of course, but if Helena is Myka's McPherson, he already has a touching off point. It's for the best, to let Helena go with the Regents.
It's just—she saved his life. He could've died and she stupidly, impulsively saved his life. Myka's reaction when she went in, screaming that they couldn't have re-bronzed her should have told him all he needed to know about the nature of Myka and Helena's relationship, but he didn't pay attention and now the world was almost destroyed and he was going to lose one of his best agents. Damn it.
He looks back at them, looks into Myka's eyes, and opens his mouth.
Artie, it breaks my heart to write this, we both know the warehouse is my happiest place. I've thought a lot about this and I can't stay here; if I do I will second-guess myself into oblivion. Please forgive me but I have to go.
Pete, you're like the big brother I never had. I wish I had your strength. I know I frown at you, punch you a lot but I will always love you. Please be careful.
Lena, you're the only mom they have, watch over them and make sure that Artie eats right.
Claudia, take care of Pete and Artie. Let's face it you are the only adult in the group. I wish I could be there to see you grow into the amazing woman you're going to become.
I love you all, Myka.
They're in Jersey, or maybe they're in Pennsylvania, or maybe they're not even in the United States, maybe they're in France or England—it doesn't matter where they are, just that Myka can hold Helena's hand every day, and she wakes up to Helena kissing her most mornings. They share an apartment, and they have a ferret that Myka does not call Pete (except for sometimes when she forgets) and there are cups of Twizlers sitting randomly on bookshelves. Myka isn't as good with computers as Claudia is (duh) but she's proficient enough, and Helena is some kind of genius and they spend the majority of their time monitoring wayward artifacts close to where they live. Artie told them not to, but it's not like he told Pete that Myka is with Helena, or that Helena isn't really with the Regents, so it's okay. They don't run into each other (Myka makes sure of that) and if they come close, Helena takes care of that.
They lead an endearingly domestic life, and sometimes Myka gets a bit bored and Helena will notice and then there will be some sort of prank played by her and Myka will scream because she likes order but she'll really love it and she'll basically jump her when they get home.
The call of the Warehouse seems unbearably loud sometimes, and sometimes Myka will wake to Helena calling for Christina, and sometimes Myka will cry for Pete and Claudia and Leena and Artie—their family—and sometimes they feel the distance between them and the Warehouse as acutely as a shard of glass in their stomach, prompting days of bad moods.
They get over it.
(What Artie doesn't know: Claudia found them. Duh. She and Pete have been sending emails to them, and maybe they've sat lounging in Myka's inbox. Helena answers maybe, and maybe Myka kinda gets mad, but then an email pops in from Claudia and she just gets so happy—they keep it a secret from Artie, and there's an email from all of them in their inboxes every week. The distance between the Warehouse and Myka and Helena seems to get a bit smaller.)