A Girl's Best Friend
"And here ye can see the dilithium crystals. Well, ye'll know all about how valuable they are seeing as that's what yer mission is all about, but what most people don't know is that they're beautiful as well."
As the woman on his arm admired the beautiful crystals, Montgomery Scott wondered at his luck. What were the chances that the Enterprise would transport a young, beautiful, charming, and friendly diplomat? And the chances she would want to talk with him? Astronomical!
"Spock to Captain Kirk!"
He nearly jumped as the unexpected sound came from an intercom behind him. What was Kirk doing in engineering, anyway?
"What is it, Spock?"
"Captain, are you certain you want to divert towards V886 Centauri merely to…"
"Yes, Mr. Spock, I already confirmed that three times. Please do not ask again."
"Yes, Sir. Spock out." Scotty could almost see the expression that must have accompanied that peeved-respectful voice.
And then he realized the captain was approaching them, a charming grin on his face. He ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach, and said, perhaps a bit stiffly, "Captain Kirk, ye've met Miss Ramirez, I…"
"Scotty, I introduced her to you!" And then in what McCoy often referred to as "That Voice": "You aren't letting him bore you, are you, Selena?"
"No, of course not, Captain Kirk. The starship engine is a wonderful thing, and I could not ask for a better guide than Mr. Scott." Scott smiled proudly (and perhaps a bit defiantly) at his captain.
"Still, this place, in the bowels of the ship, full of engines and grease and fumes—It's no place for a beautiful woman. You should be on the observation deck, illuminated only by the light of the stars." Scott felt the woman's hand slip from his arm. Before he could come to the defense of his shining engine room, Kirk spoke again.
"Have you ever seen a diamond the size of our sun?"
At that, the woman moved away to take Kirk's offered arm. "No, I have not, Captain Kirk."
"'Jim,' Selena. Call me 'Jim.'"
Scott could not hear the rest of the flirtation, as they both walked out of engineering without even turning to say goodbye.
He felt as peeved as Spock had sounded. Perhaps they could have a drink together once their shifts were over, to commiserate over the captain's behavior. But then, Spock never had appreciated fine scotch…and Scott doubted that he would sympathize anyway, when Scott's irritation was due to feelings as "illogical" as those of the captain.
Ah well. The Enterprise was the only lady he really needed, in the end. He patted the control panel and smiled ruefully at the warp core.
"At least you know better than to choose diamonds over dilithium, my lass!"
I apologize for the unmitigated silliness of this story. A friend posted this old news story on facebook (http : / / news . bbc . co . uk / 2 / hi / 3492919 . stm ? ref = nf) and when I read it, this just popped into my head. V886 Centauri is one way to refer to the star, according to Wikipedia, and I can't imagine Spock calling any star by it's nickname, especially one named "Lucy."