Aby (alicecullenrocks888), my co-series writer person, has published emmett's ver, Cullen Blogs: Emmett. SO go check that out., I promise its superr funny.
and REVIEW, or no more nice updates like this
Daily blog of Alice Cullen
Subject: The water heater
Today, the water heater in the house broke. Well, it broke eons ago, but no one noticed because we don't use it. Esme only found out today because she was cleaning the basement, and saw it rusted.
That doesn't really matter, does it?
I mean we are all VAMPIRES, so we don't need hot water to bathe, or shower.
But Rosalie started panicking.
Rosalie: OHMYGAWD! THE WATER HEATER IS BROKEN! HOW AM I TO LOOK BEAUTIFUL NOW? WHAT IF MY FRIENDS COME OVER, AND WE DON'T HAVE A WORKING WATER HEATER? THEY'LL THINK WE ARE POOR!
Edward: Rosalie. Number one, you don't even need a water heater. You shower with cold water. Secondly, you don't have any friends. Thirdly, even if you did, they wouldn't come to your house to check whether your water heater is working.
Rosalie: EDWARD, YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! I HATE THIS FAMILY!
Rosalie stormed off, and slammed her bedroom door.
Carlisle decided to get the water heater fixed, and went to call the repair man.
However Emmett stopped him, and being the cocky idiot he is, attempted to fix the water heater.
Now, Emmett is no Bob the builder, so…
CRASH! The water heater fell through the floorboards, leaving a massive hole in the floor.
Apparently he unscrewed it a little too much.
So now we have no water heater, and a hole in the floorboards.
Esme threw a fit of course, and made Emmett pay for all the damages. Also he was banned from video games, wal-mart, and Rosalie. Who was too busy sulking to care.
I couldn't go shopping today, because I maxed out my cards, and Carlisle forbade everyone in the family from lending me their cards…
So I went online, and found out there is such a thing as dress up games. That sounds good, but the clothes are tasteless and cheap, the dolls stupid. The only thing good is that they don't squirm like Bella does. Sigh. If only I could convince prada to make a dress up game. They might do it, if I call in enough favours.
I was getting REALLY REALLY bored by now, so I lugged out my karaoke machine and me, Emmett and Jasper decided to sing.
However after the 79th verse of 99 bottles of beer on the wall, Edward came down to yell at us.
Eddie's pissed cause Charlie grounded Bella and now he's all alone.
Gosh, my brother is such a party pooper.
And then, Rosalie came out of her room to yell at him for yelling at Emmett.
So it became a full scale fight, with them baring their fangs and all that.
Emmett and Jasper started making bets on who would pounce first.
However Esme stepped in and pulled them away from each other.
She gave them each "time outs".
Emmett thought it'd be funny to give Edward a dunce hat to wear while he sat in the corner.
Not the best idea of course, since Edward took the hat, and threw it at Emmett. Emmett dodged it, and it bounced off the wall. Now there is a dent in the wall, and Esme is screaming her head off. And Jasper is fueling her anger, laughing evily.
It was funny, yes, and I wasn't bored anymore. But I did think he went a little too far when Esme started chasing Edward and Emmett.
So now the boys are in canda. They refuse to come back, and are going to spend some time there.
Comment by ESME CULLEN, 3.55p.m.
YOU DID THAT JASPER? YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE, JASPER WHITLOCK HALE CULLEN!
Comment by JASPER HALE, 4.05p.m.
Uh oh. Gotta run. Canda isn't such a bad idea after all