A/N: HELLOOOO(; This is your beloved aby again *you know you love me* and I'm back with the… CULLENS' BLOG!
Some of the blogs are uploaded on my friend's profile, Didyme the happy one, so like, HERE'S THE LINK: .net/s/6362205/1/
This is before Breaking Dawn, like during Eclipse.
Disclaimer: None of the below content is true. I don't own any of the cullens, the twilight franchise, or the blogger site.
Warning! Warning! The following content was PRIVATE, and set so only the members of the Cullen family could read it. However, the writer managed to get her hands on it and decided to unleash it to the world!
Daily blog of Emmett Cullen
Subject: The thing at wal-mart
Carslisle said I had to do this weird blog thing, because it would foster family relationships or something like that. All I know is that my relationship with Rose, it's all good!
I didn't get what 'blog' meant, so I looked it up. I'm supposed to write about what happened today? Okay, well here goes.
I was really bored, and Alice wanted to go shopping, Rosalie was doing her hair, Edward was playing gay stuff on the piano, Bella was listening to the gay stuff, Jasper was emo-ing and Esme was doing 'things' with Carlisle in their room. Emmett was all alone
That's why I went to wal-mart! Wal-mart has all the solutions to boredom.
It was about 10 in the morning and wal-mart was crawling with people. I felt like jumping on each one of them and sucking their blood all out.
I pulled out my list of things to do at wal-mart. That's another thing Carlisle asked me to do. He asked me to make lists of stuff so that I could keep my thoughts in order. I have the list right now.
List of ways to seduce Rosalie
Wait. That's the wrong list.
List of things to do at wal-mart
1) Run around screaming at the top of your lungs. When someone asks you what's wrong, burst into tears.
2) Play with the small computers at the kid section acting like a three year old.
3) Ride in the shopping carts up and down the aisle.
4) When the voice over the intercom comes on, cover your ears and go slowly down on the ground yelling "MOMMY! IT'S THE VOICE AGAIN!"
5) Sit in the little car-like cart things and drive around screaming "MOVE IT, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M DRIVING HERE?"
I got kicked out after that. For the billionth time. I think they wanted to call the cops on me again. My last experience with the cops didn't go very well…
I was just walking, minding my own business when a couple of cops jumped out at me.
"Excuse me sir," they said.
"AHHH! DON'T YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO SNEAK UP ON SOMEBODY?" I yelled at them.
"Sorry sir, we didn't mean to. But, what may we ask, is in your bag?" they asked politely.
"NO! NO QUESTIONS!" I yelled again.
They gave me a funny look.
"ALL RIGHT, YOU GOT ME! I STOLE THE LAST COOKIE FROM THE COOKIE JAR! AND I CAME HERE HOPING MOMMY WOULDN'T FIND ME!" I confessed, sobbing now.
Then I got home to find Alice reorganizing her clothes again. Then she yelled at me to play wii super smash bros with her.
Stupid future-seer. I bet she cheated in every single one of the 45 games. Except the 23 games I won.
After that, I got into bed with Rosalie. Only to get yelled at by Esme because we broke the bed again. Next time, we do it on the floor, Rose.
Emmett Cullen the Grizzly Eater.
Comment by ESME CULLEN, 1:01pm
Emmett Cullen, you will not taint my floor with your sexual desires.
Comment by EMMMETT CULLEN, 1:03pm
Comment by ESME CULLEN, 1:06pm
There is absolutely no negotiation on this subject
Comment by ROSALIE HALE, 1:09pm
I am not having sex with you on the floor. Do you know how unglam that is?
Comment by EDWARD CULLEN, 1:11pm
Gay stuff? My piano playing is gay?
Comment by ALICE CULLEN, 1:13pm
I hate to break it to you, but yes, it is extremely gay.
Comment by BELLA SWAN, 1:15pm
I think it's nice
Comment by ROSALIE HALE, 1:17pm
Nobody cares what you think, Bella. You're a two-timing skank.
Comment by EDWARD CULLEN, 1:20pm
DO NOT SPEAK ABOUT BELLA THAT WAY!
Comment by ROSALIE HALE, 1:22pm
LALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALALALALA DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Comment by ESME CULLEN, 1:25pm
CHILDREN! ALL OF YOU, GET ALONG WITH EACH OTHER!