The yearning of a battered soul
Rating: M
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Word Count: 410
Warnings: angst, mention of sex
Summary: Maybe he didn't think himself worthy, but his battered soul still yearned for it.
Author's Note: The first of sexkitten426's prompts in my drabble prompt post. The prompt had been: Roy/Ed - my only specifics are as angsty & smutty as possible. Well, I promised you that this would be angstier than the last one… . XDDD

The yearning of a battered soul

It always ended like this.

It wasn't like he was complaining – they both knew going into this that love would never be a possibility. They both carried too much guilt with them to ever let it. While love wasn't the pure and shiny thing many made it out to be, they both never believed that they would be worthy of it.

So, as they started their 'arrangement', they had made it clear from the very beginning that this was nothing but an outlet for their pent up sexual frustration.

Only… Ed started to regret his very own words.

It has been months and they met up at least two or three times whenever he was in the city. It was always the same – Mustang letting him in, not saying anything, leading him to the bedroom and the next few hours would be spent fucking each other's brains out before he would get up again and just leave, not even bothering to take the time to shower. The whole time, neither of them would speak.

Oh, he could never complain that the sex wasn't good – it very definitely was. But… there was something missing. Something that, more and more, found its way under his skin, making him wish; making him dream. Maybe he didn't think himself worthy, but his battered soul still yearned for it.

In the beginning he didn't care. All he had wanted was to get rid of this ridiculous want that overcame him whenever he was around the older man. And upon realizing that they both experienced the same annoyance, it was only logical for them to do something about it. After all, sex was only sex, a coupling of two bodies that wanted release – right?

However, as he lay there now, with Mustang pounding into him with an expression that bordered more on annoyed than enjoyment, Ed really reconsidered his decision.

Was it really too much to ask for a little bit of gentleness? A touch that wasn't born out of the desire to bring each other off? He didn't ask for love – would never even dare to – but… maybe what he wanted was more like a lover's touch than the rough manhandling they did. Some days this might exactly be what he wanted, but, on days like this, he just felt himself go numb at it all. Sex was sex, yes, but did it really have to be?

Apparently, for the two of them, it did.


I hope you all liked^^