One more thing
Disclaimer: Criminal Minds are not mine
Short one-shot following the episode JJ. I was so glad that they didn't let her go with the usual I'm-doing-it-for-my-family cliché...but I'll miss JJ so much, I loved the character. So this story is a way of letting my frustration out.
Btw, I'm a shipper...kill me for that...
As Rossi watched his boss saying his goodbyes to JJ, he couldn't help but to shake his head in disbelief. For a profiler, Hotch could be really ignorant sometimes.
His own goodbyes were short. It wasn't hard to figure out JJ was uncomfortable with the whole situation she was thrown into and he generally hated teary departures.
He took first opportunity to disappear and he went to talk to Hotch. He didn't bother with knocking and without waiting for Hotch to notice him, he started.
"A handshake? Seriously?" he wondered.
"Dave, what do you want?" Hotch answered with question. He wasn't in the mood for personal conversation. To be honest, he wasn't in the mood for company at all...well, with one exception.
"I want to understand why are you letting her go" Dave cut to the chase.
"I didn't have a choice" couldn't anyone see it was the most frustrating for him? He was used to taking fights for his team, but he was used to winning.
"I don't mean the job, I get that. I mean letting HER go" there was no question in what he meant.
"What was I supposed to do?" Hotch knew what he wanted to do, but he was too guarded for that.
"Gee, I don't know, tell her you'd miss her, tell her how you feel about her..." Rossi had such scenarios in his head, that even teenage girl wouldn't be ashamed.
"I did" Hotch admitted barely audibly.
"You did what?" Rossi asked surprised, did Hotch really told JJ he had feelings for her and she turned him down? Was it her that made the goodbyes so cold?
"I told her I'd miss her"
Rossi rolled his eyes "And then you shook her hand..." 'God, please, give me patience' he prayed quickly in his mind.
"It was all I could have done, I'm her boss" Hotch defended his actions.
"You were" Rossi corrected "Life messed so badly with both of you, that you didn't stop to think that there might be something good going your way"
There was a silence for a while as Rossi let Hotch think about the opportunity that lied in front of him. Small smile appeared on his face, but only for a second, before it was all serious again.
"What now?" Rossi was getting impatient.
"Her world was just turned upside down, I can't lay any of my problems on her" being the responsible one was usually good thing...only sometimes it really sucked.
Rossi made two steps towards Hotch and looked him right in the eyes.
"Aaron, we have been friends for some time now and I'm telling you, just this one time, LET GO! You don't have to go and propose immediately, just ask her to dinner or if you can call her some time. But for both of your sakes, don't allow this one to pass you by."
Rossi did what he could, he know he couldn't push any harder. This was something Hotch was going have to figure out for himself.
"I'm just saying" Rossi shrugged his shoulders "you deserve some happiness" and he walked towards the door.
"Dave" Hotch's voice stopped him, he turned back "Thank you"
JJ watched around the empty bullpen. She didn't bother to hide the tears anymore. There was no reason, no one was going to see. As she put the required documentation on Strauss's desk she for the first time realized it was really all over, that it wasn't some nightmare she was going to wake up from. It seemed so unreal.
She could almost see Reid making his rockets on his desk and Morgan teasing Emily.
She could almost see herself running out of her office and calling the team together.
She could almost see Hotch in his office as she was bringing him yet another stack of the files.
And then she noticed she could see Hotch in his office for real. The light was still on and he sat at his desk. The feeling of familiarity and the fact she was going to loose that almost choked her.
Then she realized something, there was one more thing. Not the one she had to do, but the one she wanted to do. She stormed through the bullpen as she have done a hundreds time before, but hesitated by the door. It was open.
She leaned on the door-frame and allowed herself to watch him just for a second, before he noticed her. She smiled at him through the tears.
"I just wanted to say, I'm going to miss you too" she said through the whole room. He stood up and went towards her. He handed her a napkin, but didn't say a word. She wiped her tears quietly and admitted.
"I've promised myself I'm not going to cry" she said apologetically.
He still didn't say anything, he didn't know what.
"So, this is goodbye then..." she made one step to leave discouraged by his silence, but stopped like she forgot something. "I...if you need anything, just give me a call...or tell Penelope, I'm sure she'll stay in touch"
Another wave of tears blurred her vision. She decided it was time to go, before she'd fall to pieces.
"It was an honor..." and she spread her hand to a handshake. Hotch almost took it, when he heard in his mind Rossi's sarcastic words 'A handshake? Seriously?'
And he ignored the offered hand and hugged her instead. It was hard to say when he let go who was more surprised. Hotch just knew it was now or never.
"Would you mind if I called you some time..." he asked and she stared at him with disbelief, she didn't even have the strength to tell him it was exactly what she said a minute before when he completed the sentence "...I mean...even if I don't need anything"
And it hit her. She wasn't alone with the confusing feelings. The smile she gave him was priceless.
"I'd really love that"
Sorry for the mistakes, it was made in a hurry, I needed to get it out.