Hetalia does not belong to me. Neither do any of the countries mentioned. Get back to me after 'World Domination Phase 3' is complete.
* Quick note: a section written in italics represents inner dialogue or a memory.
Tired of Waiting
"Order! Order in the court!" America screeched, banging the butt of his loaded pistol on the conference table in frustration as the gathered nations continued to ignore him and prattle on.
England reached forward and grabbed the weapon; pulling the clip from the gun in one swift motion and tossing it to Switzerland. He caught the ammunition with a nod of appreciation and settled into his seat.
"You daft sod!" England bellowed, using the now barren pistol to beat America about the head. "Where do you think you are? This is not a bloody courtroom, and god forbid if you were ever a judge. That was a loaded gun! How in all hell did that seem like a good idea?"
"Ouch! England! Arthur, that hurts! Goddamnit, I said that hurts! I have the right to bear arms, y'know!"
France sniffed and tilted his nose into the air with a frown of disgust.
"Why, dare I ask, would anyone wish for 'bear arms'? It seems dreadfully morbid to me."
Belgium hummed in agreement and flicked her pencil across the table towards her brother. The Netherlands batted it out of the air with a contemptuous snort and tossed his erasure back. It missed her and instead smacked Finland square in the face, which caused Sweden to growl and stand up; searching for the culprit. The Netherlands ducked down in his seat and pointed accusingly to the country sitting beside him, which happened to be Spain.
Sweden stepped purposefully towards Spain, only to be knocked over by Southern Italy as he escaped from the grasp of his once keeper. Sweden stalked Spain as he darted after the nation.
Meanwhile, Germany watched the chaos and wondered why he had bothered to organize this meeting. It was not a requirement; it was not compulsory, and yet he had made a special effort to come. Northern Italy babbled cheerfully beside him and Japan sat sensibly on his other side; wincing when America tackled England to the ground and the pistol slid across the floor.
He had bothered because he thought it important to establish a common goal and a sense of camaraderie. He had gone through the trouble in an attempt to unite them. It was just a shame that it had to be against his brother.
It was time to begin.
"Enough!" Germany roared and slammed his hands on the table. The sudden silence was deafening. He cleared his throat in embarrassment at the unexpected attention. That almost never worked...
He gathered himself and gestured to the nations with an outstretched palm.
"Please tell me," he said, quieter than before, "if this is not important. If it is not, then I would prefer to return to my morning regiment. The nations gathered here have decided that this issue is worth our special attention. The issue of my brother, yes?"
The nations nodded in agreement and settled back into their seats, straightening their papers and sitting a little straighter. Sweden glared at Spain as he returned to his seat but Spain failed to notice.
"Then," he continued, "Can we not discuss this issue in a calm and forthright manner? The constant bickering is pointless and... Destructive. Please raise your hand if you wish to speak, and then proceed to speak in a clear, concise fashion. Are we clear?"
The nations nodded again and America hesitantly raised his hand.
"No, not you, America," Germany said sternly, furrowing his eyebrows and frowning.
"You are the reason for the fire in the conference room yesterday and I am still rather... Cross with you."
"But that was Arth-"
"He was burning your diagrams. Keep quiet. Would anyone else care to speak?"
America pouted and pushed his documents around with the tip of his pencil like a petulant child. Liechtenstein raised her hand first, with a little gentle coaxing from her brother.
"Ummm... I believe that... That we want Mr. Prussia to leave... To leave Mr. Canada alone and stop teasing him. Would it not be sensible to simply request that Mr. Prussia do so?" Switzerland smiled encouragingly at her and patted her on the head.
China creased his brow and raised his own hand.
"That's easier said than done. Prussia has absolutely no reason to listen to us. He is no longer a nation, and thus, no longer answers to any governing power."
Denmark raised his hand, leaning back in his seat and propping his boots on the table.
"Screw that. Why can't we just pound the little rebel into paste? Show 'im what happens when he messes 'round with th' rest of us? Seriously, I have an axe in my suite. It would take me less than five minutes to get it and bam! Problem solved!"
Norway shook his head in exasperation but there was a slight smile gracing his features. Sweden had turned an odd green shade at the mention of Denmark running rampant with an axe and Finland hiccupped on a nervous giggle. Japan raised his hand and spoke.
"Perhaps Prussia-san is unaware that his advances are forbidden? It seems to be an unspoken rule..."
Japan was interrupted by Hungary, France, and Southern Italy calling out in unison.
"Oh, he knows."
Germany massaged his temples.
England glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall before raising his own hand. The nations had wasted too much time this morning. America tried to smack his hand out of the air in an act of defiance, but England merely cuffed him upside the head before speaking.
"We have run short on time, in any case. The actual meeting is about to begin. I believe that it would be best if we gathered intelligence first rather than stumbling forward blind. For all we know, Matthew has already rejected the twat and we have worried over nothing. He always was a smart lad. Unlike someone I could mention... When we have some information, we can compare notes and decide our next course of action. Does everyone agree?"
"I disagree with everything that you just said," France snorted.
"Of course you do. Does everyone else agree?" England glared at France, who shrugged his shoulders and raised his hands in a placating gesture; this was an age old game of theirs and neither of them had the bite that they used to.
There was a chorus of agreement, and not a moment too soon, as Canada slinked through the door with the flush of embarrassment.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I'm late; I went to the conference room from yesterday and found it a little more... Scorched than I remembered," he tapered off when he noticed everyone staring in his general direction. He stepped to the left and then to the right to gauge how the stares followed him with intense concentration.
Canada glanced at his brother, who was staring just as intently as he sulked and twirled his pencil over his fingers in silence.
"Alfred? Why are you being so quiet? It's... It's kind of eerie..."
America's face lit up in delight and he clapped his hands in realization and excitement.
"That's right! I don't hafta' be quiet anymore! Ha ha!"
Canada found his seat and scooted it a little further from his brother as he sat cackling and rubbing his hands together in dangerous glee. England watched America for one shocked moment before covering his face in disappointment and choking on a sob. He knew, in the end, that he was responsible for the person America had become. France smoothed circles on his back in a rare sign of sympathy.
As simple as that, chaos was restored to the collective and it was business as usual. Objects were tossed about the room as the pitch of noise reached new and interesting levels. Nations left their assigned seating to chase each other around and bicker.
Prussia swaggered in through the entrance not much later with his hands jammed in his pockets and a smirk on his face. His hair was tousled and his clothes were rumpled, but he seemed arrogant and self satisfied nonetheless. The change in the noise level was noticeable as the countries became aware of his arrival and shifted their attention.
Prussia waved at Canada, who saluted haphazardly as the two shared a secret smile, and twisted to find his assigned seat next to Germany and across from Russia. He collapsed into the chair and Russia scowled at him.
It took him a second to realize that everyone was shifting their gaze from him to Canada with a measured and calculating glare. His grin widened as he made the connection. He pulled his hands from his pockets and tossed Russia a wink before raising said hands in the universal sign of claws.
"Rawr," he whispered, posturing. "It's on, bitches."
America is using his pistol as if it were a gavel in this scene. A gavel is the hammer used in courtrooms to maintain order. It is dangerous to use a pistol as a gavel. Don't do it!
As I am sure most of you know, the suffix "san" is a honorific in Japanese that is gender neutral but means much of the same as "Mr." or "Mrs." or "Ms.". It is polite and to forgo this suffix with anyone other than a very good friend would be considered extremely rude.
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