Chapter 13.5 - Sam wishes he were somewhere else during Chapter 13.

Sam loved his brother. There was no denying it. He would die for Dean just as surely as Dean had for him. He didn't really know if the devotion was a brothers thing or just a Winchester thing and in the end he supposed it didn't really matter. It was Dean.

That being said - dude, there were limits.

Now, granted, the moment Dean had unfrozen from the stupor he'd been stuck in since the first touch of Cas's lips and actually done something friggin' RIGHT for a change, Sam had cheered inside - right along with God, who was currently sharing his head. And so yeah, the situation was utterly ridiculous (as only standing invisibly in a corner while your brother very thoroughly chose to be gay with an angel could be) but Sam was getting used to the roller-coaster his life had become. Hell, he was sharing his brain with GOD; everything else seemed pretty tame by comparison.

But then things had gotten a little more serious. As in "Dean shoving Cas against the bench, hands already making fast work of the angel's ever-present trench-coat" serious. And while Sam was happy for the two of them, really he was - there were just some things a brother didn't need to see.

"Uh… God?"

It was a weird experience speaking to someone in his own head. Unlike Lucifer, God wasn't so much a burning intrusion as a warm pressure; a heavy weight at the back of his brain that steered his body almost gently through its motions. Unlike Lucifer, too, God hadn't ever gagged him. Sam had been able to speak freely inside his mind from the moment the deity had taken the reins. Not that it had done him much good.

The frigging Creator was having just a little too much fun with the whole 'mysterious ways' thing, in Sam's opinion. Each time Sam had asked what was going on God had just tsked at him.

"Patience is a virtue," the damn deity kept saying.

And each and every time Sam had sorta wanted to punch him a little, God or no.

And now this.

Sam flinched - actually flinched inside his own head as Castiel moaned. One of Dean's hands was fisted in the damn angel's hair and with a sharp pull his brother had bared Cas's throat just long enough to practically attackit with his mouth. The other hand had disappeared somewhere between them - somewhere Sam really, REALLY didn't want to know about - particularly when it caused Cas to make that brain-meltingly awful noise again.

"Dude!" Sam objected loudly.

"Hmm?" God spoke up, voice far too nonchalant for the current horror in Sam's opinion.

"Can we go," Sam begged hurriedly. "Please!"

Sam felt God's smirk - which was a pretty surreal situation considering it was his own mouth doing it. "What?" God replied teasingly. "You don't like to see your brother happy?"

Sam scowled, suddenly gaining an idea of where Gabriel had got his mischievous streak from. "Not THIS kind of happy, no," he protested.

Of course Dean chose that moment to let out a ragged groan - and Sam didn't really have a choice but to see as God looked up. Seriously, he could have gone his whole life without knowing his brother had a damn thing for biting thankyouverymuch.

"You're absolutely no fun, Sammy," God remarked, as Dean took the opportunity to grab twin handfuls of Cas's shirt and manhandle the angel in the direction of the bed.

"Oh for the love of-" Sam stopped himself just in time, but God snorted with laughter anyway. Sam watched with growing dread as Cas and Dean did the universal stagger of couples everywhere too engaged in touching each other to do more than blindly aim for a horizontal surface.

"Please," he tried once more. Because Jesus freaking Christ he did not want to see what was about to happen. There was not even enough bleach in the whole damn world to wash his eyes of the sight of his brother and Cas doing what they were well on their way to doing.

Sam felt his own eyes roll. "Fine," the deity huffed, and Sam had never heard a more beautiful sound in his life. "The arcade should be freeing up by now anyway."

"Excellent!" Sam enthused. Granted, he would have been enthusiastic about escaping the motel room to go and swim through a tank of piranhas at this point, but whatever.

Not even the surreal reminder that God was a Skee Ball fan could put a dent in his relief as they zapped out of the room just as Cas and Dean hit the sheets.


AN: Next in the series: Moses has an Alibi (check it on my author profile)