I do not own any of the Twilight Characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer and i have no rights to own on them except my love for them. I hope you enjoy my story. if this story seems like its a lot like one you have read before its because many stories gave me inspiration for writing this one.
I lay there silently on his hot chest listening to his breathing. This is usually the time I take to think, since he tends to like to further occupy me in other ways when he's awake. We haven't gone completely there yet, I'm refusing until I feel it's the right time, but he likes to do other things. I think about-I won't say his name, don't think his name, don't , don't , don't!-I also think about what happens tomorrow. I see the white dress, I feel so weird and odd about this whole situation. I wonder if it's just because I never thought this would happen. Ed-that gu-that person-left almost a year ago. The minute I healed, Jake was the first to know. I drove to his house and ran to him-and I smelled his wet dog sweet summer rain sunshine smell-to wash away his smell and it worked-for about 2 seconds. Then I felt it, the growing knowledge that this might be the last time I ever even hope for ed-him-to come and save me. When I got home after a long make out session with Jake, I cried my entire being out. All the pain, sadness, it was supposed to be gone. I don't know maybe it is, maybe I'm just nervous, but every time I kiss Jake now, I have this nagging desire for cold lips to soothe my burned lips from his hot lips. Jake and I are getting married tomorrow and I'm going to love spending the rest of my life with him, my short human life.
The next morning I woke up happy. I felt so good and being nestled against Jake helped a lot. I got up grabbing a shirt to put around me to hide the fact that I only had my hello kitty underwear and bra on, a childish encouragement buy, is what-never mind who-called it. I stepped outside the house and breathed in the damp air. The rain hadn't started yet and at the current moment, I almost wished it had. I heard a soft rustling from inside and I knew I had to get upstairs fast before Charlie finds out Jake's in my room, I know I can do what I want now, I just want to stay on good terms with him and finding an Indian in my bed-especially one with a lot of teenage boy/wet dog smell attached in my bed is not the best way to do that. I ran into the house and up the stairs slowing down to act sleepy and slowly enter my room again for Charlie who had just entered out of his room. I closed my bedroom door behind me and gave Jake a glare. "I'm sorry I woke him up, your bed's just too small, and I fall off easily!" I quietly laugh as he gets up, tripping over his clothes on the way out the window. He quickly turns, remembering himself, and goes to lay back down on my bed fully dressed. I stifle another giggle.
After he leaps out of my window I am quickly joined by his two sisters, who all but throw me down into a chair to slather makeup all over my face. The dress is white, but with turquoise here and there, with turquoise/diamond jewelry attached. I try to reason with them about some things, but they refuse to listen, instead almost doubling their original plans. When they are finally finished, my head is whirling with all the pain in my head and neck from being molded and pulled. They gently place a veil on my head and Rachel whispers, "you're ready". I approach the doors of the sanctuary scared shitless. There are no other ways to say it.
Then Charlie appears beside me, taking my arm and becoming my support as we embark on what was to be the biggest step of my life. I looked and I saw him, was he really mine? Could that boy-no he wasn't a boy any more. The look on his face showed that-could that man really still love me after all the crap that I put him through? All the endless waiting, all the cautionary moves, all the hesitations? But I knew the answer, Jacob loved me from the moment I reintroduced myself that first week in forks. Then why was I so nervous, so unsure? I could feel a tensity to the air around me, like something big was going to happen. I ignored it, it's probably just nerves. I looked at him the whole way down and took hold of him as soon as Charlie let go, not just because I wanted to, but I'm pretty sure I would have collapsed otherwise.
The minister was getting us through our vows, traditional style with no corrections that I thought I would have had to make- no stop that thought right there! Anyway, I was getting more and more anxious instead of more and more happy. I asked whatever God was up there to please send me some sign to tell me whether this is the right thing or something else. I hoped that the sign, if it came, would come in time. I didn't have to wait long. Just as the minister asked if anyone objected, the doors of the church flew open to reveal a soaking wet god-like man screaming out his objection, "I do!"
My heart stopped beating. My knees locked into place. He locked eyes with me as he tried to clear some of the water off his face that kept dripping down from his unkempt hair that I was so familiar with. I don't know when I decided to move but the next thing I knew I dropped my bouquet and picked up my skirts and ran to him. I didn't even care about what I was doing to my poor Jake. All I saw was a dream I couldn't waste time staring at. He would disappear soon so I knew I had to feel him, touch him, smell him, to ever be sane again. When I reached him I threw my arms around him not caring if my dress got soaked. I immediately smelled his lavender lilac musk smell as it wafted over me. I felt his perfectly carved jaw line and his sculpted face as the power of his golden eyes was unintentionally released on me.
I could see that he had recently fed for what had been the first time in months because the shadows under his eyes were so intense he looked like he had charcoal on his face. I reached up and rubbed those circles. "I'm so incredibly sorry love" he whispered to me, his cool sweet breath blowing across my face. "I'm sorry I left and I'm sorry I don't deserve you and I'm sorry I didn't get back sooner. It's just when I found out he was marrying you I had to get back if I ever wanted the option again. I knew you might not even love me anymore but it was worth a shot right?" I laughed as he tried to make up for it, completely unaware of the fact that I had forgiven him the minute he walked through those doors.
I was so unsure of the reason why I so willingly forgave him; surely I was stronger than this? But I knew that Edward was the only person in the world that could make me weak in my strongest moments. I saw myself as pitiful looking, shameful in how I so joyously threw myself at the man who had ripped my heart out, for a very clear reason to me, but then he apologized. He got down on his knees and begged my already given forgiveness. He must love me or care deeply for me, somehow. I thought back to right before I ran to him, thinking about what was on my mind. I didn't think he was real, I didn't believe he was actually there, actually crying out for me. The reality still hadn't sunk in completely but I was able to process it a little more each second. "that was not a very Edward-like sentence there you know, who have you been talking to lately?" I asked amazed at how calm I seemed even to myself. " well, I had no clue how to go about this, so my brothers might have helped me out a bit, but that doesn't matter now love, all that matters now is how you feel, and the choice you want to make." He told me, voice shaking as his control waned. I took a deep breath. " Let's go somewhere more private" he whispered in my ear, causing my eyes to roll back in my head slightly. He rose and took my hand, leading me away from my unsatisfied wedding guests, with a sad Jake following knowingly behind us.
"It's her choice not yours!" "I know it's her choice!" "Then why are you here? Don't you think it's a little pressuring being here all wrapped around her?" "You're here!" "Which you haven't been for a while I might add!" " would you two quit it? I can't very well think of anything right now with the two of you arguing like this!" I shouted over them in their constant bickering. I already knew what I was going to do, but I just had to find the right way to tell Jake so he would understand, or at least understand it as well as he could. I reluctantly let go of edward's hand and walked over to grab Jake's. "jake, come with me." He hesitated so I whispered,"Please Jake." He bowed his head and followed me outside.
"Jake I-." "Before you start bella, just listen okay?" "okay." " for all most a year now, he's been gone. I saw how broken you were, how much he hurt you, and all of a sudden he's come back and your willing to throw yourself all over him?" "Jake that-." "I'm not finished. So you're still in love with him, fine. But what about me? Bella, I thought you finally felt the same about me! But he's here and you're here with him and not me, on our wedding day, and…" I knew he couldn't say anymore so I raced to hold him to me, letting him wrap his big hot arms around me, burying his face in my hair, what he always does when he needs comfort. "Jake, I love you. So, so much. But it's not the same type of love that I have for Edward. You will always belong in my life and be a very special part of my life but I need Edward. I need him. I want you, and I need you as my friend, my very best friend, but I physically need his presence in my life." I finished with tears running down my cheeks and down his. He leaned in to whisper, " at least I'll always be able to do one thing that he can't, I can show you how I feel, incredibly sad, incredibly happy, at least I can cry…" he whispers as he pulls away and runs into the woods almost too fast for me to follow.
I slowly walked back into the room, and I looked at Edward's face, the deep understanding very present in his eyes, I didn't want to cry, I was doing way too much of that already, and I didn't think that it would do anything for me to be any weaker than I already was. " he still wants to talk to you, you know" Edward informed me. I had to stifle a laugh at his comment, "well, I would hope so, we were just about to get married!" Edward looked at me strangely, "your sense of humor always perplexed me, every comment so obvious and yet your charm seconds it in a very interesting way." "ohh," I sighed and went to him and wrapped my arms around him. He did the same-for a second, and then he stiffened. "been away too long?" I guessed. "no, well a little, but it's more because I want to take you somewhere. "the meadow?" I asked. "that's definetly on our list of things to do, but I was thinking more about a certain pixie-like creature who's been asking about you nonstop since she saw what my plans were…" "ALICE!" he just hugged me tight before throwing me onto his back and racing me through the woods to the house that I missed so dearly.
As we approached the house, I heard laughter and voices fill it a sound that was not present the last time I had visited but a sound that I had craved so dearly then, that hearing it now almost seemed like oxygen in an extra dose to me.
Please Review, this story is one of my favorites that i have done so far.