Chapter One: A Totally Perfect Start

Okay, so I've got writer's block and I was bored so I wrote this. Some people might find this story to be a parody, but really it's also meant to be a brief guide to Mary Sues.

Most people make their OCs Mary Sues because of general ignorance or just because they don't really care what sardonic flamers have to say. The point is that this will have both an example of Mary Sue and hints on how to not make your OCs meet this fate. Anyway, just enjoy the stupidity, and please go ahead and say whatever in your reviews.


It was an utterly beautiful and sunny day outside in the Kanto region. Pidgey were singing so sweetly outside windows, as if to greet morning to everybody. And through the windows of a big, stone house with a rose pink paint that looked spectacular despite looking like Pepto Bismol, sunlight fell onto a beautiful girl's face without hurting her lovely closed eyes.

The sun made the girl's totally pretty blonde curls shine like old gold. She opened her gorgeous bluish gray-green orbs that were like beautiful aquamarines and smiled so sweetly that even a savage Tauros would be halted.

The girl's name was Mary Sue, and right now she was ten and ready to leave on her Pokémon journey. Mary Sue rolled out of bed gently, careful not to rip her pale pink, flannel night gown. It was very pretty with little white dots. And despite the fact that she had just been sleeping, Mary Sue's nightgown was unwrinkled. That was because Mary Sue was a quiet and gentle sleeper.

She smiled, and patted the silk white sheets of her Victorian style bed. The bed frame was golden brass, and silk sheets were imported straight from France (is there a France in the Pokémon world? Who the heck cares! She's my totally awesome Mary Sue, right?) .

Mary Sue dressed in her outfit that had been washed and ironed the night before. It consisted of a pale pink top with spaghetti straps, a jean miniskirt that went a bit above the knees, and cute hot pink combat boots that made her legs look totally miles long!

Mary Sue looked at her reflection and struck a pose. Her hair didn't need to be brushed. Her golden ringlets were pretty looking even after sleeping. As if Mary Sue stepped out of a freaking hair salon! But, alas, Mary Sue was a total expert at doing hair, and she was immune to bad hair days!

Down the elegant spiral staircase Mary Sue went. The aroma of gourmet food met her nose. Oh, it was heavenly!

In the expert kitchen, Mary Sue's housekeeper, Margot flipped blueberry pancakes. They were delicious, and Mary Sue wrote the recipe of course!

"Mary Sue, you're up!" Margot chirped, and tugged on her uncurled ordinary brown hair. "Could you assist me with the pancakes? No one can make them into perfect circles like you can."

Mary Sue blushed, and smiled sweetly. "Oh, Margot, that's not true! Anybody can do that, really."

Ten minutes (no, I mean seconds!) later, Margot and Mary Sue were eating their delightful breakfast. Wasn't Mary Sue so sweet to let her servant eat at the table?

After breakfast, a shiny white limo pulled up in front of Mary Sue's house, just for her! Her deluxe luggage was in hot pink and piled into the trunk.

The elegant driver led Mary Sue into the limo, and couldn't help but smile at her. Mary Sue sat down in limo comfortably, and bid Margot good bye.

"Good bye, Mary Sue! I'll miss you!"

On the way to the Pokémon lab, the limo nearly ran into another car, but thank Arceus Mary Sue was there! She easily guided that car to the lab while the driver freaked out.

"Thank you, Mary Sue. I'd be dead if it weren't for you!" The driver smiled, looking worn.

"No problem!" Mary Sue beamed, and ran into the lab.

Professor Oak stood by a long table in the lab, and he of course smiled widely at Mary Sue. Mary Sue's aquamarine eyes took everything in with a sense of beauty.

"I'm here for my starter, Professor." Mary Sue said, smiling at the old man.

"Oh, Mary Sue…" Oak frowned. "You see, all of the starters have been taken already."

Mary Sue mouth dropped. "Oh, no! What will I do?"

Oak looked puzzled, and then lit up. "I know!" He fished a Pokeball out of his lab coat pocket and tossed it to Mary Sue. (Mary Sue of course caught perfectly by the way). "Take good care of it. It's very rare!"

Mary Sue threw the Pokeball up in the air. A small, pink cat-like Pokémon came out and smiled.

"Mew!"


Okay, you all should know not to give your dang OCs legendaries! Especially not Mew!

And, additionally, mini-skirts and spaghetti-straps are not age-appropriate for ten-year olds, especially when they're going to be trekking endlessly through forests, mountains, deserts, and more.

Also, be realistic with their looks. No kid wakes up with perfect curls. Ever.

Furthermore, a ten year old should not be able to drive a car better than an adult driver. Nor should they make perfect circle pancakes. And please, don't make them totally lovable! If we wanted lovable we'd all go watch the Care Bears talk about getting along. Give them faults and realistic flaws!

Anyway, I'll update this if it sparks anyone's attention. The next chapter will focus more so on other OC issues.