Fandom: Rizzoli and Isles. Maura/Jane
Word Count: 2,500
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.
Spoilers: Season 1 finale
Summary: Angsty sadness ensues at the hospital after the finale, and Angela realizes how important Maura is to Jane.
Maura stared ahead; she sat in her usual lady like pose, upright, and stock still, in the ancient hospital chair. She looked bad. Jane was in surgery and Maura didn't know if she would live or die. She was shutting down, trying to dam her emotions and hold onto a semblance of control. The wait was agonizing.
"Ma'am, will you please put these on?" The emergency social worker looked her up and down, and held out a pair of scrubs to Dr. Isles.
"No, thank you."
"How about a blanket?" She tried again.
"No," Maura said dismissively. The social worker sighed, and pointed out that she was covered in blood.
"I don't want to change," Maura said a bit more firmly. Jane's blood was streaked through her hair like a cheap kool-aid highlight job. Her hands were stained red. Her red dress looked like a watermelon had exploded on it. A copious amount of blood had soaked through the chiffon fabric and dried to her skin. After Jane shot herself, Maura had ripped the front of her skirt off as a rag to apply to Jane's wound, leaving her dress substantially shorter and exposing the tops of her thighs.
In the aftermath of the shooting she had lost her shoes. She had kicked them off as she lunged for Jane and hadn't stopped to think about them since. When the social worker had first seen her, she thought she looked like a zombie prostitute. It would have been a good Halloween costume, if it wasn't real blood. The other people in the waiting room felt the same way, despite it being crowded, Maura Isles had a whole row of chairs to herself. People were sitting on the floor, rather than sit anywhere near her. Maura just stared ahead, waiting to see Jane, and feeling powerless.
Angela and Frank were in with Frankie as he had just woken up, but Maura hadn't heard any update beyond that. Jane should be next, but there was no telling how long it would be. Maura couldn't even guess how long it had been.
The Rizzoli's had to leave Frankie's bedside so he could rest, and they were directed to the waiting room. They spotted Maura, and Angela's sobs started fresh when she saw her covered in Jane's blood. Maura barely acknowledged them. She tried to keep still, eyes unfocused, almost catatonic. She couldn't start crying because she was afraid she would never stop. She asked in a dry whisper, "Frankie?"
Frank nodded and said as reassuringly as he could muster, "he woke up for a few minutes. He...survived." Maura nodded in return, and went back to her half-conscious state.
Frank had his arms around his wife as she buried her head into his chest; he swayed her gently trying to soothe her. This was the day Angela had lived in fear of ever since Jane announced she wanted to be a cop. Angela had had an almost foreboding sense that this would happen. Her baby. Shot. Briefly she considered it was better that it happened this way, both her children shot on the same day, so she only had to go through this once. She calmed down momentarily, and looked again at Maura. Angela hadn't heard all of the circumstances of the day. She didn't get a rundown of the events that led up to this. She thought about asking Maura to go through it, but she was afraid to ask seeing how fragile and out of it Maura looked.
Jan, the social worker came out some time later, to tell Angela and Frank that Jane would be waking up soon. Family was allowed to go be with her as she came to. Angela's eyes darted questioningly to Maura.
"Is she family?" Jan asked Angela.
In that moment, Angela tried to think about what was best for Jane. She could have lied and said that Maura was her sister, cousin, relation of some sort. Even if she had given the indication that they wanted her in the room with Jane it would have been okay. Instead Angela said, "No, she just works with Jane."
Maura's lip started trembling and her chest started heaving. Hyperventilation. She couldn't stop herself. She started sobbing, and cried out, in a tight shrill voice, "Please let me see her. I have to see her!"
"I'll be right back," Jan said as she escorted Angela and Frank down the hall into the recovery room. They waited for Jane to be wheeled in.
Truthfully, Angela didn't want Jane waking up to a harsh reminder of the days events. Maura looked terrible, covered in blood and her emotions unpredictable. She had to protect Jane.
Jan returned and told Maura she needed to go home. That only immediate family could see Jane tonight. She could come back in the morning when she looked more presentable. Never in her whole life had Maura been told she needed to look more presentable. It stung. "I-I have nothing, I don't have my purse or any way to get home," Maura sobbed.
Jan pulled a slip of paper from her folder and wrote something on it, "This is a cab voucher. Please just go home and take care of yourself. I'm sure you understand not wanting to upset Jane or her family."
Maura was crushed. The social worker escorted her out and into a waiting cab.
Angela and Frank hovered over Jane as she lay, paler than they thought possible, in the bed. Soon she blinked and Angela could tell she was beginning to wake up and focus. Before she was fully conscious, Jane started to move her mouth in silent "M"'s, trying to gather enough saliva to speak.
"Mom? Is that what you're trying to say, Sweetie? I'm right here." Angela covered Jane's hand with her own.
"Maura? I want Maura. Is she okay? Is Frankie...?" Jane realized she was in the hospital, and she was basically immobile.
"Frankie's going to be okay," Frank piped in.
"Maura?" Jane tried to be louder in case they couldn't understand her. She could barely hear herself- only her heart pounding in her ears.
"She's...okay. We sent her home." Angela said seeing the immediate anguish on Jane's face.
"Get her back, please! Call her!" Jane cried.
"Jane calm down. She will see you tomorrow. I don't have her number and we don't have your phone...I don't think she had her phone either."
"Go pick her up! Go get her. I need her now." Jane started crying, inconsolable.
Frank went to get the nurse. This was certainly not the stress free wake up they had hoped for. The nurse came in and adjusted her pain medication. Jane felt herself getting heavy and sleepy. "Mom, promise me you'll go get her?"
"Okay, sweetie. She'll be here when you wake up again."
Angela started to sob as Jane's eyes fluttered shut again.
It wasn't until Maura got out of the cab, and stood in front of the door that she realized she didn't have her key. It was chilly, and the wind ripped at what was left of her thin dress. She felt so painfully alone that she almost laughed.
She had locked herself out once before, about six months prior. She immediately called Jane, who came rushing over to help. She teased her and said they might have to camp out in the back yard, and asked her why she hadn't taught Bass how open the door. When they finally managed to pry open a window, Jane toppled inside landing on her ass. She pulled Maura in on top of her and they lay in a puddle of arms and legs, laughing and then kissing. Maura had given Jane a key to her house the very next day.
Of course, it had been one of Maura's notorious ruses. She didn't lie per se, but it was close. She had just wanted Jane to come save her, but tonight Jane wasn't available. Maura shivered again and punched the code into the garage door which opened, and she hadn't locked the door into the house.
Her house was cold and painfully quiet and she remembered that Korsak had taken Bass from her office, promising to get Jo Friday and take care of them both. She wondered if he had taken her purse too. It was 4am, she thought about calling him to see, but he was probably asleep. Besides if she called he'd want an update on Jane and she couldn't bear to tell him that she didn't get to see her.
Letting herself go on autopilot, she ripped off her dress and undergarments. No wonder they treated her like a vagrant at the hospital, as she smelled like rotten blood and dirty sweat. She stepped into the scalding hot shower to try and at least banish the permeating cold. She scrubbed and scrubbed at her skin until it was raw. She washed her hair 3 times to try and get the blood out. Then she barely dried herself before pulling Jane's dirty Red Sox jersey from the laundry and buttoning it on. It was the only comfort she was going to get. She thought about last Saturday, watching the game at the bar with Jane. After the Red Sox won, (and four congratulatory rounds of beer) they were both laughing and carefree as they came home to Maura's and made love for hours in the slow easy way that she loved. Teasing each other to the brink and calming back down: ebbing, flowing, circling. The memory shook her to the core. She forced herself to drink a full glass of water, and she almost threw up. Then she stumbled back to the bedroom and fell face first into bed, letting the pillow drown her cries.
Angela Rizzoli was working on pure adrenaline. She didn't want to leave Jane or Frankie, but the nurse assured her that they would be asleep for at least the next hour if not longer. Angela first drove blindly to Frankie's apartment and got him a bag of clothes. Then she headed to Jane's apartment to get her clothes. She cursed herself for how she had sent Maura away, but she had only seen the fear and numbness in her at that moment. She hadn't realized how upset Jane would be to wake up without her there. It scared her that Jane didn't seem to believe that Maura and Frankie were okay; it was clear she needed to see them.
Angela turned her key into Jane's lock, entered the dark apartment, and immediately began to gather clothes. She looked for Jane's Red Sox jersey knowing it would be comforting to Jane and easy for her to get on without having to raise her arms too far. She didn't see it anywhere, so she started in Jane's top drawer looking for some socks and underwear. A pair of Christmas socks with sparkly trees caught Angela's eye. They had been a gag gift from the previous Christmas. Angela picked them up absently, lost in thought, remembering the occasion. There was something in the toe of the sock, a small box. Angela pulled it out and discovered it was a velvet ring box. Angela popped it open to discover a beautiful diamond ring. She lifted it out, curious, inspecting it. A folded note was tucked up inside the box. Angela had no qualms about snooping in her daughter's things, and eagerly unfolded the piece of paper. It was definitely Jane's handwriting. The paper said:
I love you more than anything.
You've opened me up in the best ways to the best things in life.
I love seeing the world through your eyes every day.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you and then some. Will you marry me?
Angela stood, shell shocked and confused for a long moment. She realized it was an engagement ring, but who would Jane be proposing to? She carefully tucked the ring and note back into the box, and back into the sock. She went about blindly gathering everything she thought Jane might need. When she threw open her closet she noticed the influx of frilly dresses crowding Jane's darker colored attire, and many pairs of expensive high heels on the floor. Realization hit Angela like a train: Maura.
Ten minutes later, Angela was standing on Maura's front step pounding at the door and ringing the bell simultaneously. Maura answered her eyes puffy, her hair still damp, and wearing Jane's jersey. Angela noted how young she looked with no makeup. Maura blinked trying to clear the glaze from her eyes, and see who was at her door. Angela hesitated for about a second before springing a hug attack on her. She squeezed the blond woman so tight she couldn't draw a breath. Angela whispered in her ear, "Why didn't you tell me that you are in love with her?"
Angela unsqueezed her long enough to let Maura breathe, and then hugged her again, her eyes brimming with tears. Maura was speechless, she hugged her back, feeling forgiven for being cold, and forgiving Angela for the poor treatment a few hours previous.
"Hurry, get dressed- and Jane needs that jersey. You are all she asked for when she woke up, and she has-" Angela was so excited that she almost spilled the beans about the ring.
Maura whispered a few a words of thanks, her voice hoarse from all of the crying and screaming she'd done over the past hours. She dressed quicker than she ever had before, and joined Angela in the car.
"I really do love her. She wasn't sure how to tell you and her father. I guess she found a way?" Maura said sounding sheepish.
"Oh, Jane didn't say anything. I put two and two together when I saw...your things in her closet, and realized how upset she was that you weren't there when she woke up. I'm sorry about that by the way," Angela reached over to take Maura's hand.
"Mrs. Rizzoli, I understand how you were feeling, with both Frankie and Jane in surgery. You couldn't worry about me." Maura said as they entered the hospital ramp. Her heart was beating so much faster, in anticipation of seeing Jane.
Maura practically ran to the hospital room, and saw Jane lying asleep. She knelt by her bed and touched her face. Jane stirred and opened her eyes, her grim face instantly pulling into a cheeky grin. Maura leaned down and kissed her, letting her tears rain onto her forehead. "I love you," Maura practically shouted. "I didn't know what I was going to do without you."
Maura's eyes didn't leave Jane's. Angela stood in the doorway smiling and crying at the display of love.