A/N: I decided to put all the stories I wrote about Winchesters and movies/plays under one umbrella, so here it is.

And now for the obligatory Summary: This series contains ficlets and drabbles of Winchesters vs movie monsters or in situations inspired by other media. First up: Twilight. Dean Winchester meets Edward Cullen. It doesn't end well.

Ugly Chicken

The boy's drunk.

Noisy, carefree, ready to eat. He's a mouth-watering Happy Meal stumbling merrily along, served up in a darkened alley.

Wide green eyes, dark blond hair. Pretty or ugly, it makes no difference. Humans all taste like chicken in the dark. The hunger's too strong; Edward's tired of fighting it. He grabs his food by the shoulders, spins him around.

Bright silver steel flashes; sparkly pale flesh shatters like brittle ice.

Edward's severed head bounces onto the cobblestones like a half-ripe melon.

"Eat it, Twilight!" The words follow Edward down into the eternal dark. "Dude, you weren't even close..."

A/N: Oh come on, how did you think this was going to end?

Go, Dean! Awrrrooooo...Go Team Jacob!