Summary: Byakuya wasn't quite sure what sort of training exercise this was that Rukia was teaching him, but she seemed thrilled so perhaps he could try to swivel his hips a little, like the video showed...
Notes: Alright, so this idea came to me after remembering those god-awful dance tapes from the mid-eighties they used to show us in grade school. I hope that everyone else will be able to set aside their sanity for a few minutes, to enjoy this blast-to-the-past!
"Um, nii-sama?" looking up from his paperwork, Byakuya watched with mild interest as Rukia shuffled her way into his office, eyes downcast. He noted that she had in tow a large brown box, the contents of which Byakuya was almost certain he'd figure out soon.
"Yes, Rukia?" Byakuya asked, eyes flickering back down to his paperwork. He had thirty reports from his good-for-nothing Vice Captain to decipher, and then re-write into something more presentable by the next morning. It would take him hours.
"Well, while I was in the human world with Renji a little while ago, Inoue, Ichigo and I went to this old video shop, because Inoue wanted to rent something of sentimental value, and Ichigo had nothing better to do, or something like that," Rukia laughed nervously, very aware that she was babbling like an idiot. Byakuya didn't look up, but that was probably a good thing, since Rukia was pretty sure her face was bright red.
"Anyways, while we were there Ichigo picked out this tape and told me that it was some sort of training exercise. Once I got back to Inoue's apartment we all tried it, and I have to say, it really is a workout!" Letting out a loud sigh, Byakuya put down his pen.
"I am very busy at the moment, Rukia, so is there something of the utmost importance that you need to tell me that is related in any way to your story?" he asked, gazing flatly at his sister, who froze, looking flustered. If he had more of a sense of humour, Byakuya would have imagined steam rising off the top of her head. Since he didn't, the head of the Kuchiki household only waited for a response.
"W-well, nii-sama, I figured that, since you have so much work, you might want to take a small break and unwind, with this training video...?" Rukia trailed off, backing slowly towards the door. Hopefully, she'd be able to get out before she embarrassed herself any further – Byakuya? Relax? While there was still work to do? What was she thinking?
"If you insist." Rukia felt her jaw drop as Byakuya shuffled his papers, stoppered his inkwell, and stood up.
"Um, are you sure? I mean, you said you had a lot of work to do, right?" Rukia spluttered, shaking her hands out in front of her. She hadn't actually thought he'd go for it – she'd just been trying to be a nice younger sister!
"I heard recently that work can be finished more effectively if periodic breaks are taken, so yes I'm quite sure." All Rukia could do was nod. If only she knew when to stop talking, then things like this wouldn't happen.
"Alright, well the VCR's right here, so give me a moment to set it up," she said listlessly, crouching down to assemble the VCR and television that were sitting in the cardboard box. Nodding, Byakuya watched as she prodded a couple of buttons on the machine, and the monitor on top came to life. After a few more seconds of fiddling around loud, alarmingly peppy music filled the office. Freezing up, Byakuya's eyes went wide. What in the hell?
"Hey boys and girls! I'm Patty and I'm here to teach you the sensation that's sweeping the nation – the Macarena!" on the TV, a woman wearing some sort of floral jumpsuit that was not at all flattering grinned toothily, jumping around in apparent excitement. Turning to Rukia, Byakuya tried to pass his confusion with only a look.
"Um, it starts off strangely. Humans, you know?" Rukia laughed nervously again, fiddling with the hem of her robe. She'd forgotten how... happy Patty was. Sure, back at Inoue's apartment it had just been something to laugh at, but here with Byakuya... well, Rukia was beginning to wonder if she ought to be concerned for his health.
"Hm," Byakuya grunted, eyes transfixed on the screen. Patty had started the exercise – both arms outstretched, hands facing downwards. With one last glance at Rukia, who's arms were already out in front of her, Byakuya followed suit, holding his arms stiffly at exactly shoulder height.
"Alright, now that you've got that step, let's move on!" the next ten minutes were spent much the same way, as the steps became more and more complex – hands face downwards, hands on shoulders, hands on waist, hands on the, er, buttocks.
"See nii-sama? Isn't this fun–I mean, physically exerting?" Rukia asked, following Patty enthusiastically. This was so much fun, how could Byakuya not feel the same way?
"I suppose so," was the mumbled reply, as Byakuya watched with dread as the next step played.
"And now swivel your hips, swivel, swivel, and jump!" Patty was saying, while swivelling with too much passion for Byakuya to feel entirely comfortable. There was no way he'd swivel his hips. He may have been the butt of many effeminate-related jokes (mostly by the Eleventh Division) but the head of the Kuchiki household did not swivel. Period.
"Rukia, I will not–" Byakuya began, but stopped when he noticed how much fun Rukia seemed to be having. Her eyes were closed, and her face was upturned in the biggest smile he'd ever seen on her.
Closing his eyes, Byakuya tried not to let his face twitch. It would make Rukia happy if he were to enjoy himself, and besides, who would see? Swallowing his pride, and anything else that might be coming up, the head of the Kuchiki household gave up, and started to do the Macarena with passion.
Opening one eye, Rukia had to hold back a snort of disbelief. Byakuya was actually doing the Macarena – and it looked like he was enjoying it! Feeling better than she had all night, Rukia threw herself back into the Macarena with vigour. It was much easier to dance now that she knew her nii-sama didn't think she was in idiot.
The next morning, Byakuya walked into the First Division office, a neat stack of reports in his arms. He dropped them off at the desk without waiting for anyone, and left as quickly as he could while still looking dignified. Back in the safety of his own office, Byakuya glanced around furtively, before plugging in the VCR. A small smile on his lips, he popped in the now-familiar tape.
"Hey boys and girls..."
So, who else had flashbacks to standing awkwardly in a gym next to your friends, trying to act like you aren't enjoying the Macarena? Well, at least Byakuya seemed to have fun! Hopefully you all feel the need to tell me just how much you enjoyed/despised this story with a review.