First angsty fic and I've no idea where it came from! Thanks to KayleighM- for reading over this and yelling at me to post it. Enjoy the non-fluffiness and please review and let me know what you thought. It's the first time I've attempted something like this.


A heartbeat.

Strong thumps echoing around the room causing your own heartbeat to increase with excitement and joy.

Your hand rests on your belly, not yet swollen with the life growing inside of it. You can't help it, this feels almost unreal and you're terrified of waking up and this all being a dream. Alec just smiles at you and rests his hand on top of yours, a kiss to your brow to reassure you that everything is fine.

But it isn't.

You wake up knowing something is wrong. Even before you feel the warm liquid that surrounds you, before your hand touches the substance, before you realise the deep crimson on your fingertips is blood, and before your piercing scream feels the room; you know something is wrong.

Another hospital bed. Another doctor. This time no sounds of life echoing around the dull, grey room. Silence ricochets off all four walls as you studiously work to avoid your husband's eyes. Even worse, he works harder to avoid yours.

At night when it's just you in the dark room the tears fall.

Nothing could be this painful again, right?

The feeling of loss encompasses you, breaking your heart little by little until you're sure it's never going to be whole again.

You make empty promises to yourself: This is just a minor setback, next time things will be fine; this is going to be the last time your heart is broken.

Little do you know, it's only the first time.