Author's Note: Since China's national day is on 1 October but Yao's birthday was profiled as 10 October in Hetalia, I'm posted the first chapter on 1 October and the last chapter will be posted on 10 October. Happy National Day to the Chinese!

In this story, Ivan is portrayed as a devilish pervert and Yao, a tsundere prude. There is explicit description of lemon and a corny mushy ending. If you can't accept these, don't read on.

All characters (C) Axis Powers Hetalia & Hidekaz Himaruya. No part of the story is related to any country, political ideology or real event.

Warning: This chapter contains descriptions of male-on-male freplay.

Chapter 1: Ivan you bastard!

Yao sat on the couch in his hotel room, tapping his feet with was his birthday, and as always, his Russian neighbour Ivan wanted to be the first person to present to him birthday greetings and his birthday present.

Yao loved Ivan very much and appreciated his sweet gesture, but he wished he could say the same for his birthday presents. Ivan had a knack for giving him bizarre gifts that were impossible to like. Last year, he gave him a love doll modelled after himself, reason being "So that you can still do -censored- with me when I'm too busy to visit you da~ "Needless to say, the doll remained deflated in Yao's storeroom since Ivan made sure to visit him at least once a day.

Then there was the year before when Ivan gave him a set of seven T-shirts with Kitty-chan motifs down the front, one for each day of the week. Yao liked them so much, he gladly wore them daily on Ivan's request, despite receiving snickers, stares and dirty looks from the other nations, which he attributed to the Kitty-chans on his shirts. It was not until Vash threatened to close his Swiss Bank account if he continued wearing those shirts to his house did Yao finally notice the scandalous text on the back of his T-shirts, "My -censored- belongs to Russia". The T-shirts were now unceremoniously locked away with the deflated Ivan Braginski love doll, along with a bunch of other perverted oddities that Ivan had given him for birthdays ever since they first met. That must have been... two... three centuries ago? Three centuries of immoral junk that he could not even off-load at the antique shops for fear of getting arrested for propagating pornography. Good heavens.

In a nutshell, Yao was not looking forward to Ivan's visit. Besides, Ivan was late, so that meant that they would be late for the UN meeting later. While they hardly did anything constructive at the meeting, Yao knew that he would be teased for coming in late together with Ivan. But if he did not wait for him, he might do something undesirable at the meeting, so the only option was to stay put.

"Ding dong!" The doorbell sang. Yao got up to open the door, bracing himself for the polar bear's crazy antics.

"Yao~ Happy Birthday~" Ivan pounced on Yao and pulled him into a back-breaking hug. Detaching himself gently from Yao, he flashed the birthday boy a saccharine-filled smile, puppy dog eyes twinkling with excitement.

"I have a special present for you da~!"

Yao wished he could tell Ivan that his smile was really the best gift he could give him, but not wanting to appear too forward, Yao merely replied with as much artificial enthusiasm as he could summon, "Thank you! What is it aru?"

Smiling mysteriously, Ivan took hold of Yao's hand, led him to the couch and bade him to sit down.

"Close your eyes da~!"

Yao did so, hoping for the best.

A pair of strong arms encircled his slender waist and a pair of soft warm lips engulfed his own, silencing his gasp of surprise. Ivan kissed him, slowly and languorously, while stroking his long black hair and detaching his hair tie in the process. The initial soft press of lips became harder. Heat swept through Yao, and in spite of his initial resistance, he shuddered and opened his mouth wider for a deeper, more possessive kiss. Ivan delivered, sliding his tongue aggressively into his smaller lover's mouth and ravishing his shy tongue. They broke apart, panting softly.

With a red face, Yao reprimanded, "Ivan! How many times must I tell you not to do this! I'm too old for surprise kisses aru!"

"But you enjoyed it da?" Ivan beamed cheekily as he tightened his embrace around him.

"No I did not!" Yao snapped. He tried to push Ivan away, only to realize, to his horror, that his hands were immobile, imprisoned behind his back.

"Ivan Braginski! What did you tie my hands together for!" Yao roared as he squirmed and struggled in a desperate attempt to free himself from his cloth bonds. But Ivan had tied his wrists together so tightly with his scarf that his efforts were futile.

"So that you can't escape from your present da~!" Ivan replied cheerfully as he began undoing the tie around Yao's collar.

"I don't want your present aru!" Yao protested.

"But it's your birthday~"

Off came the tie. Ivan began working on his blazer.

"Exactly! It's my birthday, so I call the shots aru!"

He cried out in shock and annoyance as his blazer was dragged down from his shoulder.

"But the gift-giver decides the present da? Otherwise, there is no surprise~" Ivan began unbuttoning Yao's shirt.

"I don't want surprises aru! I just want a peaceful life!"

The shirt, his last cloak of modesty, was forcefully pulled down his shoulders, revealing his smooth, fair chest and twin plum circles in all their naked glory.

"We're going to be late for the UN meeting aru!" Yao cried desperately as Ivan pulled him onto his lap, causing him to straddle him awkwardly.

Choosing to ignore that major problem, Ivan buried his face in Yao's neck, nuzzling it and satisfying his nose with the scent of sweet peonies.

"Stop! Don't... Ah!" Yao cried out as Ivan pressed his lips against his neck, sucking so hard that he left a raw red mark on it.

Ivan relished the soft cries that issued from his lover as his hands roamed imperiously over Yao's increasingly reddening skin. Leaning down, he captured one small plum bud in his mouth, sucking and tugging until it hardened, before bestowing the same attention on the other. As his tongue caressed his lover's nipples, his hand drifted lower and unsnapped the fastenings of Yao's belt. He tugged the zipper down and slid his hand inside his pants. Through the thin cotton of Yao's briefs, Ivan could feel the hard heat of his lover's arousal. He stroked it gently for a few moments, but did not go further. Instead, he moved his hand to the small of Yao's back, inside his underwear, down his bare butt cheeks, finally pressing against his back entrance. Yao whimpered quietly as two long fingers found their way into his back garden.

As Ivan inserted more fingers to test his willingness, Yao bit his own knuckle to prevent himself from screaming. Three fingers... four fingers were inside him now, moving slowly and steadily. Yao was just beginning to feel that he might survive the morning when sudden intense pressure invaded his back entrance, causing him to yell in pain.

"Ow!" Yao cried as tears that were dancing in his eyes flowed down his cheeks.

"Ah did I hurt you? I'm so sorry. But don't worry, it's over da~" Ivan apologized as he withdrew his fingers and licked them contentedly.

To Yao's utmost surprise (and disappointment), Ivan helped him to pull his boxers back on and zip up his pants. Then he untied the scarf around his wrists and pulled the shirt back over his shoulders.

"Ivan... Wha?" Yao stammered, feeling utterly bewildered as he allowed Ivan to dress him. He was so astonished he forgot to register the throbbing pain in his rear.

"The UN meeting da? We're going to be late~" Ivan chirped as he helped him to button up his shirt.

Yao returned his cheerful reply with a suspicious glare.

"Ah, don't be upset, my little sunflower~ We'll continue after the meeting," Ivan pecked him on the nose.

"Who's upset!" Yao shot back. He hastily slid off Ivan's lap. It was just like Ivan to be his usual inconsiderate self, teasing him and then leaving him hanging off a peak so that he would have to plead with him to rescue him. But this time, there would be no continuation, Yao thought fiercely. He had already accepted his siblings' invitation to a mahjong party at Kiku's house after the meeting. Scoring a Shi San Yao was more orgasmic than any orgasm in the world.

As Yao stood up, he felt an extremely strange sensation deep down inside him. Something was bothering him, making its presence felt in his most intimate regions. Like a pea under several pieces of feather beds, it was not intrusive, but it protested loudly against being ignored. Even by standing still, he could feel his insides tensing up around it, triggering off a pleasurable sensation near his sensitive spot.

"I... Ivan..."

"Da?" Ivan smiled angelically at his trembling lover.

"Did you... did you slip something inside me aru?"

"Da! You're so sensitive~!" Ivan smiled indulgently with an air of a teacher praising a student for an intelligent answer.

Yao's eyes widened in shock. "Ivan you bastard! What did you do that for! What if I can't get it out aru!" Yao made to run to the bedroom to retrieve the offending object, but Ivan gripped his wrist and pulled him towards the door.

"Don't worry da~! You have all the time in the world to retrieve it after the meeting~!"

"Nooo aru! What if it gets embedded deeper inside? I don't want to go to the hospital on my birthday aru! And for such an embarrassing incident too!" Yao wailed.

"You will be able to get it out da~! It's your birthday present!" Ivan pushed Yao gently out of the hotel room into the corridor.

"My birthday present aru?" Yao cried incredulously. "You shoved my birthday present inside my... my..."

"Your lovely back garden da~ Unwrapping it will be so much fun~ Kolkolkolkol~" Ivan took his hand and led him to the elevator landing.

"Fun? You sick pervert aru! Whoever gives presents in this manner! What the hell is it anyway?" Yao demanded as he tried his best to fall in step with Ivan. He was now painfully aware of the burden in his shaft. Every nerve in his body tingled with fear, anxiety and... desire. His knees felt so weak that he felt he would topple to the ground any moment.

"If I tell you now, it won't be fun da~!" Ivan grinned heartily as he ushered Yao into the elevator.

Inside the elevator, Yao gripped the side railings so hard that his knuckles turned white. Perspiration dripped down his blushing face as he chewed nervously on his lower lip, undoubtedly to prevent mewls of arousal from escaping his lips. It took Ivan a lot of self-control to not pounce on Yao and ravage him on the spot. He had to be patient and let Yao retrieve his present himself. It was more than a matter of fun. He had plucked up a lot of courage to carry out something so important. He could not afford to ruin his efforts with a moment of lust.

Finding strength in this resolution, Ivan marched over to Yao and lifted him up swiftly in a bridal carry.


"Since you seem to have trouble walking, I'll carry you all the way to the meeting da~"

"No aru! Put me down!"

"Rejection doesn't exist in the Russian dictionary! Kolkolkolkol~"

To be continued…


Yao: What the hell is this aru? H-chan must have posted the wrong fic. This sick piece of fantasy is clearly a birthday fic for you, not me aru.

Ivan: Nah, that can't be~ Why would I give you a birthday present on my own birthday? Although I wouldn't mind giving you presents everyday if they are of the same nature~ Kolkolkolkol~

Yao: But this is my birthday fic, so why am I still being bullied by you aru!

Ivan: I didn't bully you da~ I chose for you a present that I know you'd love!

Yao: I'm already hating it! I will bin it once I get it out. What the hell is it anyway?

Ivan: If you bin it, I'll make sure you regret it. Kolkolkolkol~ As for the present, that will be revealed in the last chapter da~

Yao: (゚Д゚|||) I can't wait for this stupid fic to end.

Ivan: I can't wait for the lemon~ Any ideas where we should unwrap your present?

Yao: In hell.

Ivan: What did you say? Kolkolkolkol~

Yao: Um, I mean, the hotel room of course aru. Where else (−_−)

Ivan: But that's so uncreative and not at all fun~ Again, that shall be revealed in the next chapter, so review da?

Yao: Oh fine aru! But it had better be somewhere private where nobody's going to see us!

Ivan: Till the next chapter then! Kolkolkolkol~

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