Disclaimer: I do not own VicTORious. Dan Schneider does. I do envy him for it. But it's still his *sigh*
A/N: Hello people! I decided to give a shot at writing a VicTORious fanfiction, due to the sad lack of Cat/Tori(Cori) fics out there. So, yeah. It starts off a bit slow, sorry about that. Once the second chapter is finished, things should be smoother.
Chapter 1: I Know Jade Can't See It
She glanced over at me, and my eyes automatically dropped back down to my notes. Already, I am distracted. I wonder if anyone could ever decipher my notes. They were covered in doodles, and what words there were seemed out of place. Only I knew why or how these words and drawings translated into exactly what was on the board. I mean, I've never met someone who really understood why a bunny doodle with the word 'scrambled' written on it said to me, "This will be on a test!" And, probably, no one ever would.
Realizing I was getting more and more lost in my thoughts, I became frustrated with myself. Focus, Cat. Focus. Which means that I'm looking over at Jade again. Part of me wants her to look up at me again. The other part of me wants her to never look at me at all. Either way, she doesn't glance my way.
The teacher writes something on the board, and I'm scratching in my notes again. Ok, so that's... A cat ear doodle, the word 'text', and an apple. For a few minutes, I keep my attention on the lesson. But, after a while, Calculus becomes a bit of a drag.
I went back to staring at Jade's back. She seemed tensed up. She probably wasn't understanding something again. Deciding to try and give her a hand later, I let my mind scatter.
Next thing I knew, the lunch bell rang.
As if by instinct, I called out to Jade as she put her things in her bag. "Jade!" Her cold black eyes glared over at me. It hurt a little, that she always looked at me that way. Nonetheless, I snatched up my things and danced to her seat. "Hey, hey!" I winked at her, a huge grin on my face.
"Yeah. Hi," she growled, flipping the colored part of her hair back.
I placed my notebook in front of her, open to today's lesson. Jade glowered at it, deliberating.
When I said nothing, she snapped, "And what is this?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" An automated response.
Jade callously fingers over my notes. "Why did you put this illegible thing on my desk?"
I smiled at her. "Sorry. I should have checked first!"
Her studded eyebrow shot up, and I knew she was about to berate me again. I probably deserved a bit of it. It wasn't my specialty, putting things into words.
Still, I spoke again before she had the chance, my face and gestures just as bubbly as before, "You kind of looked confused during the lesson. I guess I just thought that maybe I could help you."
Jade's pristine marble features became even more incredulous than usual. Lately, I just keep on seeming to do the wrong thing. She quickly looked over my notes.
"Maybe I was a little lost." Her voice was like a strange kind of honey—sweet in a way that terrified me. She smiled like a starving rapid pig about to utterly destroy and devour a venerable, innocent mouse for it's next meal. And yes, I do know that pigs don't eat mice. Or at least, that's what I'm told. "Lost or not, there's no plausible way you would be of any use. From what I can see, you may as well not have even been in class today." She gestured to the pad of paper, "These are not notes, but the ramblings of the stupid, ignorant, and deeply insane. Help me? Am I really the one who needs help here?"
I wanted to interject, but I felt if I did, it would break my highly trained smile. Instead, I managed to giggle a little.
Those chilly black eyes, which I sadly had to admit I loved, pierced me again. "And my point has been proven. Now, where are the men in white? They really need to take you back where you belong."
It was a challenge not to counter her with my signature saying. I forced a laugh, answering her with fake enthusiasm, "Jeez, Jade! You really like to tease me." A slightly manic giggle escaped me. "Aww, are you secretly shy around me?" Reaching out, I touched her nose lovingly. And she looked like she wanted nothing more than to put my head through a shredder. Not the most comforting expression.
She huffed and zipped up her backpack. It looked as if she was just going to leave without saying anymore.
In fact, she didn't say more. However, she hesitated after turning towards the door. Her head turned to me and those eyes silently probed me. I quickly put my notebook away and stood next to Jade. I gave her a little smile. She simply stared at me for a moment. She began to walk, and I followed her as though she hadn't just shot my heart with her casual cruelty.
I knew I romantically liked Jade. Jade knew it, too. Ever since she found out how I felt, she became increasingly critical of me. When we were all alone, she always kept me at a bit of a distance. She said she didn't want me too close until my crush was gone. Which was fine with me—I wanted this feeling to go away, too. Beck knew about me, too. He held no ill feelings for me. Actually, he often tried to make Jade ease up on me, though it was to no avail.
The thing I don't know is why I liked Jade. It was quite clear that she was as icy as death itself. Yet, sometimes, ever so rarely, and only just a tiny bit, she showed there may be a heart in her somewhere, after all. Like, after she openly tried to rip up my own heart, from time to time, she would still wait up for me. It made no sense. She did it anyway.
I wish I could compare her to some kind of puppy; one that bit its owner as hard as it could, but patiently waited at home. Even when it could easily run away forever. Well, I guess I did just compare Jade to a puppy. Somehow, the comparison still wasn't quite the right fit.
One key difference between Jade and the puppy is that I'm pretty sure Jade waits purely out of what little pity she has. The puppy waits out of loyalty. No one had ever been a 'puppy' for me before. To be honest, I didn't expect anyone to. I was a freak, after all.
Staring up in the dark at the ceiling of my room, my mind fluttered away again. Before I knew it, I was contemplating what it would be like to find an aquatic zebra who spoke three human languages and chat with him or her at the bottom of the sea. While drinking tea, of course. I wonder if crumpets would taste like coral down there. Hopefully not.
Speaking of hope, I hoped that one day someone would discover a real, live leprechaun. If I met him, maybe I could convince him to give me a tiny piece of a rainbow. Maybe I could put the rainbow in my heart, and then maybe... then maybe... maybe I could be set free. Free from liking Jade. Free from the harsh words I was told so often. Free from these skittering thoughts. Free from needing my medication. Free from feeling pain ever again.
I turned on my side and my eyes locked on the calendar on the wall. How could I have forgotten? Tomorrow was marked with a bright red Sharpie. Tomorrow was the Big Showcase at Hollywood Arts. I was only going to be a backup singer. That didn't matter. There was something about that day, though. Ever since the date for this year's Showcase was decided, I've felt like... like something was going to begin then. Maybe that leprechaun would make an appearance. Probably not. Still, I can't shake this premonition. Finally, it was tomorrow. Now that it was so close, that feeling was stronger than ever.
I really wished I could think of something—anything—that seemed plausible that could alter my life tomorrow. Anything I thought of was either impossible or unrealistic. Which I guess are kind of the same thing. But not really. Huh.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow...
A/N: Thanks for reading! *bows*