Full summary: Insanity... was like poison. It destroyed and took over all that remained of his life, of himself. His eye mocked him with its colour of death, and his hair mocked him with its colour of madness. "Can I kill you so I'd at least get to say goodbye?"

AN: Welcome to rakku's greatest tragedy fic so far. ;_;

Be warned.

Hope you'll like this fic, I've been working on it for quite a while 'cause I kept feeling that I could improve it even further. /needs to write more sweet KakaNaru moments to compensate T_T

EDIT: REDRAFTED on 27/08/2013, to keep up with recent canon revelations. Many changes made, though overall plotline remains pretty much the same.







"Can I... can I hug you so you'll move and push me off? Can I bite you so I won't start screaming? Can I shake you so I can't see your face anymore? Can I kill you so I'd at least get to say goodbye?"

He stared down at the limp, unmoving body, panting. Each exhale, much too heavy to be a sigh, came with a near-inaudible keening noise at the back of his throat.

Like a scream of denial and fury and raw, bleeding grief, suppressed.

"Can I love you? Can I hate you?" He whispered, eyes wild with almost-madness. "Can you – can you just – wake the hell up already?!"


Hatake Kakashi collapsed at the gates of Konohagakure no Sato. He had returned.

He had returned alone.


A hand completely covered with dark red blood cupped his chin, and pulled his head lower weakly.

"I'm so sorry, Naruto..."

He felt his lover's wild hair brush against his cheek, leaving behind a dark red smudge. The dying man tried to give him a faint smile as he barely managed to raise his head, and murmured in his ear—

Three words. Three small, simple, and incredibly stupid words, and then.

He was gone.

Three words and a soft sigh, stolen away by the wind.


Tsunade stared at him, shaking in grief and denial.

"He told me to forget him," Kakashi said blankly.


Forget about me, the wind whispered in his ear. Forget, forget, forget...

He stared at the Memorial, letting the Sharingan-that-was-not-his take in the newly-added name, carving it into his soul. Forever.

Forget me, the wind insisted.

No, he replied, stubborn. No way in hell.



Kakashi trained.

He trained, day and night and with Kage Bunshin everywhere. He trained himself until he always hovered right at the brink of complete chakra exhaustion, where one more jutsu would mean a long, long stay in the hospital – if he was lucky.

He managed to push that brink, further and further and even further until he would be able to keep pace with even Jinchuuriki.

He only ever took breaks to rest, and to eat. And he always ate ramen.

Teuchi and Ayame had gotten used to him turning up three times a day to buy takeout ramen. He never actually ate there, but they understood.

They had always been very good at understanding, as Naruto had known.


He held the tiny mirror in front of his face with his left hand, and gripped the knife firmly with his right.

Time to try again, he thought.

He slashed the blade down over his eye, and waited a few moments for most of the blood to stop pouring, and let it heal slightly. He tilted the mirror, and carefully observed the scar with his other eye.

No, it's still rather off.

It took him another five tries, but eventually he managed it. The scar was exactly the same.



Kakashi was still infuriatingly late all the time, still gave his crazy excuses, and still spent hours at the Memorial each day. He still wore his mask, but it was unnecessary – because he had another one to wear over it.

They let him choose his mask, and in the end he finally took the fox one. He had broken the wolf mask a long time ago, after all, and he felt like having a change.

And perhaps he liked the scarlet whiskers that were painted onto the porcelain.



Quicksilver is an old name for mercury, a heavy, silvery-white metal.

It can produce toxic effects in high doses, including damage to the brain, kidney, and lungs.

Symptoms of mercury poisoning include sensory impairment, disturbed sensation and a lack of coordination.


Sakura watched as the silver-haired man cut his way through the enemies with a fiercely crackling Raikiri, and suddenly realised... that his style of battle had changed. He was almost always going in first with high-rank, chakra-depleting jutsu, leaving a trail of blood and destruction in his wake. Almost like—

She caught his eye as he pulled his arm out of the last enemy-nin's chest, and he saw the recognition in her saddened gaze.

Neither of them commented on it.

But two months later, the shinobi who had copied a thousand jutsu became the Hokage who knew two thousand.


Quicksilver Kakashi.

And the name stuck, for some reason.

He's dangerous, they whispered. He's the best they've had in generations. And now, he's Konoha's newest Hokage.

Every bit as deadly as the Yellow Flash.

Quicksilver Kakashi? The wind scoffed.

...He liked Sharingan no Kakashi and Copy Ninja Kakashi better.

But the name stuck.


Konoha's Rokudaime Hokage: Hatake Kakashi. Also known as Quicksilver Kakashi.

As dangerous and deadly as his name.

(As lonely as his name, too.)


He stared into the mirror, straight into the blood-red eye that was not and would never be his.

"I am not Hatake Kakashi."

He smiled, briefly.

"You see, Hatake Kakashi died a long, long time ago..."


Neji was just about to deactivate his Byakugan when he thought he saw something red. He immediately focused his attention, trying to find the source, but saw nothing.

Except the complex seal-patterns on Kakashi's stomach, on his shoulders, and going all the way down his arms.

He saw no more of the scarlet chakra, but he wondered.

Only one person he knew of had chakra of that colour, and only one person had had a similar high-level seal on his body.

Did he seal the Kyuubi into...?


When Tobi attacked once again, Konoha was more than ready. The shinobi and kunoichi of Konoha were ready to defend their village, their country, and their loved ones, at the cost of anything. They knew what to expect – unbreakable genjutsu, bijuu unsealed from the strange statue... and an enemy that was practically impossible to hit.

Maybe Konoha was doomed.

Maybe it wasn't.

And then, the Rokudaime Hokage set up a seal-barrier around himself and the last living Uchiha.

They pounded against his barrier, but its strength surprised all of them – for even Tsunade herself could not punch through it.

Just as great as that of the Yondaime, someone whispered in horrified awe. Perhaps even greater and stronger and more—

So they watched, desperate and furious and unable to help, as their Hokage battled against the traitorous shinobi who had once been considered a hero.


It seemed hopeless. Obito escaped every single one of his attacks – even though they could both use Kamui.

The Uchiha carelessly complimented him on both his ninjutsu and speed, but there was a hint of smugness in his tone.

Maybe... pure speed was not enough to land an attack on him?

He raised an eyebrow as the man compared him to the Yondaime Hokage, and confidently remarked that there was only one other jutsu that had ever stood a chance against his Mangekyou Sharingan.


Well. He asked for it.

So Kakashi threw an impossible Fuuton: Rasenshuriken.


The astounded widening of Obito's eyes was most satisfying...

...but how he simply gaped when Kakashi pulled off an even more impossible Hiraishin was priceless.


It was working, Obito was finally weakening and he was beginning to gain the advantage, just a bit more and I'll defeat him and—

And... then...


But no.

Because and then, as a last-ditch effort, Obito used the jutsu he had copied from Yakushi Kabuto. The kinjutsu that was created by the Nidaime Hokage, and further developed by Orochimaru—

Kuchiyose: Edo Tensei.

It was supposed to summon the one Kakashi loved most, and Obito was honestly curious as to who it would be.

Would it be their pathetic failure of a teacher? Namikaze Minato had been hailed as Konoha's strongest and brightest, after all, and he supposed trash like Kakashi would still hang on to such meaningless beliefs despite everything that had happened.

But... yes, it was possible, very much possible indeed, of course – that jinchuuriki! It was a pity that he had died, really, because Obito needed the last and most powerful bijuu for his Plan, and Uzumaki Naruto had messed everything up with his untimely demise.

So the Uchiha who had lived a half-life since the day he had seemingly died watched eagerly as the lid swung open, and—

Hatake Kakashi stepped out of the coffin.

And Naruto screamed with the voice that was not his, wearing the face that was not his and staring, in horror, with a scarlet eye that never should have been his.


He had known of the Kage Kagami Shinten no Hou, the infamous shapeshift jutsu of Oni no Kuni.

Well. It was a crazy idea, but still.

Trying to recreate the effects with fuuinjutsu was... difficult, but he eventually succeeded.

"Sorry about your eye, Kakashi," he whispered. "But I promise to take good care of it, you absolute idiot."


He felt his seal-based Henge shatter, and it all became a blur of blood and claws and grief and pure fury afterwards.

The last thing Uchiha Obito ever saw was a flash of yellow and the face of Uzumaki Naruto, with tears in mismatched crimson eyes and a snarl of furious grief on his whisker-lined face, before everything faded...

Into the never-ending howl of the Rasenshuriken.


Naruto felt numb.

Or perhaps, it was because it had been so long since he had last been himself.

"I told you... I'd never forget you." He scowled fiercely. "And no one ever will."

"And... it was a good plan, wasn't it? 'Cause no one else suspected anything. Completely unexpected. That's what you said I was, you know. Unpredictable."

He laughed, bitter.

Can I kill you so I'd at least get to say goodbye?

He only knew of one way to end the modified form of the Edo Tensei.

But it could only be done by a non-Jinchuuriki.

And all of Konoha watched, helpless, as he focused the last bits of his chakra pulled the Kyuubi no Kitsune from himself. He smiled faintly at the silver-haired figure standing stiffly in the distance.

I'm sorry, Kurama. Don't cause too much trouble now that you're free, alright?

And now... I can use that jutsu.

He formed the hand-seals carefully, and became the third Hokage ever to summon the Shinigami.

He felt the lightning-covered hand pierce his chest, right through the heart, and smiled again.


"Hug me," he demanded as he sent both their souls spiralling down, down, down into the nothingness.

As Kakashi's body disintegrated into dust and ashes, Naruto thought he felt an arm wrap around his shoulder, comfortable and just the tiniest bit possessive, and there was the lightest brush of masked lips against his cheek.


Forget me.

Not a chance in hell.


You're late, Kakashi remarked mildly.

He snorted. I am not! You are just horrendously early for once, idiot.







...Everyone still alright there? x.x

Some endnotes about this fic:

Quicksilver: Title came about as a result of my fascination with the idea of Kakashi being called Quicksilver Kakashi because 1. his hair colour and 2. he's very dangerous, of course and 3. alliteration (er yeah I utterly adore alliteration there I go again? ^^;; )

The very first part ("Can I...?"): First written as an angst tragedy ficlet on some sudden inspiration, then posted the KakaNaru comm. Then the idea of what if Kakashi was the one who was saying those lines instead of Naruto as most would expect came in, and then I flipped that idea around yet another time. So the end result: Kakashi dying and Naruto pretending to be Kakashi because he doesn't want him to ever be forgotten. ;_;

"Forget about me.": Based on the idea that these three dying words would be even more heartbreaking than "I love you." That, and the SELF-SACRIFICING IDIOT KAKASHI WOULD DEFINITELY TRY TO DO THAT D:

The disguise: Not sure if this was too confusing, but basically Naruto took inspiration from Demon Country's [in English] Shadow Mirror Shapeshift (see Shippuuden Movie 2), and used a permanent Henge to take on the appearance of Kakashi. He had to take Kakashi's eye, too, which is why he had to cut his face so many times to recreate the scar. Hope I managed to mislead y'all into thinking Kakashi was trying to recreate Naruto's six whisker-marks? XD

Misleading: Hope I was misleading enough? What with the "similarities" between Kakashi and Naruto and the seal and all.

Kuchiyose: Edo Tensei + Kakashi: Just... T_T

"You're late" vs "You're early" (in the ending): They both died way too early. ;^;


Do leave a review? Even a T_T will be appreciated. (: