Happy lietomeseason3 day! Thank you for making my first 'Lie to Me' fic a success. This is complete crack!fic-you've been warned. :D

Special thanks to csiAngel for encouraging me to post this. ltmteamawesome, this is for you.



Gillian Foster entered her partner's office and sighed at the sight before her. Cal Lightman sat in the chair, his legs propped up on the desk. Something interesting on his cell phone held his attention.

"Cal!" Gillian exclaimed, the slightest hint of irritation creeping into her voice.

"What?" Cal replied.

"Your phone. It's driving me crazy! You're always doing one of two things: Either you're pointing it at me taking my picture, or you're glued to it, texting like a teenager."

"Not texting, love. Tweeting," he told her without looking up, keying in a message on his phone.

Eyebrows climbing upward, she fixed him with a slightly amused stare. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Tweeting," he repeated as he finally looked at her, his head cocked to the side. "You've never heard of Twitter?"

"Yeah, I've heard of it," she smirked. "I just never expected you to be so enamored with it."

"I'm a constant surprise," he deadpanned, the response earning an eye roll-and a grin-from his partner. "It's quite intriguing, actually," he continued. "And we have many fans."


He made a face and a rolling-hand motion, then he pressed a few buttons on his phone and turned it toward her. "See? Lots of followers-fans. Though I think I'm popular only because I tweet photos of you."

"Cal! Why do you use my picture? Why don't you use your own?"

"Handsome though I might be, I'd rather look at your face any day. The followers prefer you, too. " He wiggled his eyebrows and flashed her a grin before pocketing his phone. "No worries, love. Most of them aren't stalkers."

Gillian's eyes widened and she moved closer to his desk.

"Only a joke," he laughed, entwining his fingers behind his head. "Relax. They're harmless, really." He thought for a moment before adding, "Perhaps some girl crushes, though."


"Girl crushes…It's self-explanatory. Must say they've got great taste."


"No need to be embarrassed by the truth, love."

Gillian couldn't help the slight blush that tinged her cheeks pink, and her gaze slid to the floor. "So, what, you randomly post pictures of me?"

"Sometimes I tweet other sorts of pictures. But mostly the followers nab and ask me for ones of you. Who am I to deny them? Especially when they ask so nicely."

"You could have asked to take my picture," she told him, her eyes flicking up to meet his.

"You'd have let me?"

"No," she grinned.

"See, I knew that, so that's why I didn't ask. I like taking pictures of you. You're quite photogenic, you know."

"Any other woman would have already turned you in for sexual harassment."

"Good thing you're not any other woman."

Electricity sparked in the air between them as they stared at each other.

Several moments passed before Cal spoke. "So," he said, breaking the spell, "our fans have been begging me to ask you to get a Twitter account."

"I think I should leave the tweeting to you," Gillian laughed. "Though from now on, I'd really appreciate it if you'd ask before taking or tweeting any photos of me."

"I've only tweeted the best ones," he assured her. "Not that you could take a bad picture…"

She studied him, gauging his words, eventually deciding he was telling the truth. "Flattery is a good color on you, Cal," she grinned.

He grinned back. "Good to know."

"So, these pictures that you tweet, do you delete them from your phone afterward?"

"I have pictures of all my friends on my phone."

"That wasn't what I asked, Cal," Gillian smirked.

"Once they're binarily posted, what does it matter?"


"You know, a ton of ones and zeroes. Electronic talk."

"That's not a word. And you're avoiding my question."

"I'm wounded," Cal replied, placing a hand on his chest in mock-hurt. "Don't you trust me, love?"

"It's a simple question," Gillian replied, leaning on his desk and fixing him with yet another stare. "Don't make me get your phone and check for myself."

Cal chuckled and removed his feet from the desk, then stood and mirrored Gillian's position, their faces only inches apart. "You want me to believe that you'd reach into my pocket and get my phone?"

Gillian's eyes narrowed playfully. "You know I would."

"Now who's the one harassing?" Cal countered.

"You know you'd like it, Cal."

They heard a 'click' coming from the doorway.

"I am so going to win that contest! This is hot!" Loker exclaimed, looking at the picture he'd just taken of his bosses in a heated debate.

"What are you talking about, Loker?" Gillian asked.

"The LTMN team awesome-that stands for 'Lightman,' and it's hashtagged and smashed together as one word on Twitter-picture contest," he replied.

"Oh, no. Not you, too," Gillian replied, shaking her head as her eyes slipped shut. "Wait, you knew about this?" she said, her gaze snapping back to Cal. "All of this is a contest?"

"Well, it started out as just a contest," Loker admitted, "but I also tweet because it's fun. You know, you're the only one of us who doesn't tweet."

Gillian straightened up and crossed her arms over her chest, once again facing the younger man. "That's because my days are filled with actual work, Loker."

Loker shrugged. "You don't know what you're missing."

"Don't you have something to do?" Gillian asked. "Something besides tweeting?"

Loker swallowed nervously. "Right, work. Okay, leaving now…" Still, he couldn't resist smirking as he glanced at the picture again.

Gillian made her way to the door and closed it before slowly turning to face Cal.

"I know what you're going to say…" Cal began.

"Your phone," Gillian demanded, arm outstretched as she walked toward him again.


"There's no way Loker's going to win that contest."

Cal coughed, unsure if he'd correctly heard what she'd said. "I don't understand."

"Loker hasn't seen hot yet. Let's show that LTMN team awesome who the real winners are."

Then his phone was in her hands.

"You're very good, Foster," Cal chuckled, actually surprised that she'd managed to retrieve his phone so easily.

She grinned and stepped closer, her mouth at his ear. "You have no idea, Cal. No idea."


Thanks for reading!