Bear with me here guys, anyone who's read my other stories knows I like to build things up, I hope you enjoy x

Chapter 1: Reconnect With God

Ava Harris couldn't stop smiling; she'd been smiling all day since her suspicions had been confirmed. This was a moment of pure bliss for her; even the pouring rain of early December couldn't spoil her joy. Ava had been born and raised in England, when she was eighteen and studying at Cambridge University she had met Steve, a charismatic American who had instantly swept her off her feet. They had the perfect life out in LA, the perfect large mansion to live in, the perfect marriage and amazing friends, they were truly happy and now their happiness would be complete. Ava wanted to wait until Christmas to give Steve the present but she knew she'd never last that long, she pulled into the driveway and checked her appearance in the mirror before climbing out of her car and running through the pouring rain to the front door. She crept silently through the house, she was determined to surprise Steve, she climbed the stairs slowly manoeuvring around the ones that creaked a little, that wide grin crept back onto her face as she approached Steve's office door. She pushed the door open with excitement,

' Surprise Steve …' her words choked her and stopped her breathing, Steve gape at her in shock and pulled himself away from the naked woman who was sprawled over his desk, the naked woman happened to be Ava's best friend Bethany. Ava couldn't speak, she couldn't breath, she backed out of the room and ran down the stairs, Steve was shouting behind her but she didn't stop, she ran out of the front door into the cold, harsh rain. Steve was behind her, she cursed his athletic ability and ran as fast as she could, but he caught up with her and grabbed her arm,

' Ava please just her me out, it meant nothing'

' So our marriage means nothing to you, it's that easy to throw away six years Steve?'

' No…Ava …I'm in love with Bethany, I want to marry her' Ava felt like he'd just sucker punched her in the gut,

' But we're married, we made vows in a church in front of god and witnesses does that mean nothing to you?'

' Oh come on Ava, you were brought up to believe in god, I wasn't, you knew that, I want a divorce Ava, nothing you can say will change my mind'

' I'm pregnant' she whispered hoarsely, Steve ran a hand through his hair

' I'll pay child maintenance and we'll sort out a good settlement, but this is nothing to do with me Ava, I want a new life with Bethany' he pointed at her stomach as he spoke,

' You heartless bastard' she had tears streaming from her eyes as she spoke

' Look Ava.' he touched her arm and she recoiled in disgust

' Don't touch me' she pushed him away and began walking away at a fast pace, Steve followed her shouting and Ava walked out into the road to cross the street and get away from him, she didn't even notice the car headlights through the grey haze of rain.

Ava lay in her hospital bed, her mother was sitting beside her but Ava refused to look at her, she refused to look at anyone. She'd been unconscious for two days, that didn't bother her, what bothered her was that the child she'd been trying to conceive for the last three years was gone. She felt totally empty and useless, she felt as though she'd been cut open and had everything inside of her ripped out until she was nothing but a dying husk. She didn't want to see anyone, how many of her friends had known about Steve and Bethany? The one person she did have to see was the police officer that came in to get a statement from her, he looked at her in pure pity and she hated him for it,

' I'm so sorry Mrs Harris, for everything you're going through and for intruding in on you at this time but I just need a quick statement'

' Did you find out who hit me?' she asked, her voice was barely distinguishable but he heard her, he hesitated before answering;

' Yes…we did, the driver was a Miss Bethany Crawford, she admitted it was her and insisted it was a total accident'

' Ok' Ava didn't ask him anything else, she answered his questions and gave a statement and waited for him to leave before breaking down into violent sobbing cries of pain.

She had to stay in the hospital, Steve didn't even attempt to visit her once and she didn't expect or want him to. Her perfect life had been shattered in a matter of minutes, her mother tried to be as supportive as she could,

' Ava god has a plan for us all' she said in her all knowing tone, Ava stayed silent and thought about this statement for a minute before speaking,

' Then he must really hate me to do this to me'

' God doesn't hate you Ava, god loves you'

' Then why has he taken everything from me?' she looked at her mother with silent rage, daring her to answer back, she didn't.

Ava moved in to her mother's house a week later when she was released, the saintly Steve had packed all her belongings and delivered them to her mothers while she was in hospital,

' Asshole' she muttered under her breath as she looked at the boxes and suitcases. She tried to regain some normality in her life; she went to church with her mother the Sunday after she was released but it wasn't the same. Church used to make her happy; it gave her comfort, now all it gave her was gossiping neighbours and looks of pity. She sat in the pew after the service before slowly getting up, the cramping ache in her lower abdomen made her wish she had some painkillers, the priest, father Lewis, walked over to her,

' How are you Ava?'

' May I speak with you father?'

' Of course my child' he held up his hand and indicated to a side room where he held confession and talks with all his parishioners, she walked in and sat down slowly in one of the wooden chairs,

' Do you wish to confess?' he asked her, he asked everyone this when they walked into this room,

' Yes but this will be my last confession'

' Why my child?'

' Father do you think god can single someone out and hate them?'

' Of course not, I can see why you feel this way Ava but know that god loves you'

' If you loved someone would you take everything away from them?'

' Ava god has a plan you must remember that'

' Yes so people keep telling me, father what would you do if you lost all faith?'

' I would search until I found something to rekindle my faith, you've been through an enormous tragedy Ava, perhaps you need some space to reconnect with god?' she stayed silent and stood up,

' Thank you father'

' Have faith Ava and god be with you' he said as she walked out of the door.

Ava returned to her mother's house, her mother had gone to Sunday brunch with her friends. She sat down and started going through all her bags, she threw all her fancy clothes, shoes, purses and jewellery into a bin bags and left her mother a note asking her to give them to the church drive or charity. She packed some jeans and casual tops and sweaters into a bag with a few pairs of shoes and a few other essentials, the last thing she did was to write her mother a note before she left the house. She drove her Mercedes over to a local dealership and traded it in for a black Chevrolet Captiva,

' You going on a trip?' the friendly car dealer said smiling as he handed her the keys,

' Yeah I guess' she wasn't to sure herself what she was going to do,

' Where you headed?'

' Not sure yet, where's the middle of nowhere?'

' Well I'm not too sure bout that, but I stopped at this diner in the middle of nowhere about a week ago, nice people, no distractions, good place to sit and have a nice quiet think'

' What was the place called?'

' Well let me think…err…oh yeah paradise falls, you cant miss it, just head out into the desert and you'll come across it'

' Thank you' she said climbing into the 4x4 and pulling away from the parking lot.